[caged_bird]

Right, so I know that I have mentioned this before, but I still have'nt resolved the prob. And its really getting to me! :(

I've shared a best friend relationship with Jazz for roughly ten years, and it really helped me through some tough situations - she always managed to cheer me up. Anyway, we entered high school together, and I think that our relationship improved - u know, watch each others backs in the new school and everything - but then we met another girl - Amy. Both Jazz and I became friends with this girl, but I never would have chosen her overs Jazz and I hope that Jazz felt that way as well.

Lately, Jazz and I fought - usual things that your supposed to be able to resolve after a day's thinking over it - and we did manage to fix the problem. But when I fight with someone, I tend to ignore them while I figure out how to deal with the problem. I know that this doesn't help the issue either, but I'm too temperamental in these situations.

Anyway, while we were fighting, Jazz and Amy became closer, and remained closer even when Jazz and I forgave each other. And now I feel replaced by Amy. They are always doing something together on the weekends, and they're always having fun and aughing together. I tried talking to Jazz about it, and she listened, but nothing really changed.

SO for her birthday, I brought her a best friend pendant and had our names engraved on it, hoping to remind her of how much she really meant to me. While Amy was still in the way, things did manage to get a little better and I kept trying, but after a while I was feeling replaced and forgotten again.

I was feeling particularly emotional one day, and after a lesson with the pair of them, I gave Jazz my half of the necklace and walked away. I realize that I should have explained my actions to her, but I was too upset and too proud to cry in front of anyone. And I didn't want to see her upset. I noticed that she was crying about it later. I didn't want to hurt her, but she never realised how much she was hurting me.

I wrote her a letter explaining why I gave the necklace back to her, and that if she wanted I still wanted to be best friends, but that she would have to treat me different. I gave her the letter with a picture of us. Apparently, she gave the letter immediately to Amy when I made sure to give it to her privately and she tore up the only picture I had of us. I really loved that picture - when there was no Amy, just us.

Jazz doesn't seem affected anymore, and so I told myself that I have to get over it, and that because I am going to get over it I don't need that picture or my necklace. I also realised that all the time I was trying to fix our relationship, that I was basing it on a happier past together and not so much on the present - we had both changed. While there seems to be a weight off my chest, it still hurts every time I see Amy and Jazz together.

I want to be best friends again, but I can't see that happening with Amy there. But I won't tell Jazz to get rid of Amy because then I know that she will not like me if I do. I can't ignore the problem - I see her everyday. I refuse to find a new best friend - I have other friends, but they never amount to Jazz - because it wouldn't be special enough for me. Jazz and I had years to work up our relationship, and it was ruined in a couple of months.

I don't know what to do. Its bringing me down so help please! Sorry its so long, but I really needed to get this off my chest

[JustDarkness]

Sounds rough.

But you can't get to worked up about Jazz getting a new friend. Jeliousy is the number 1 realationship killer.

When you get jealous you start pushing the people you love away and start hating the person who took them away from you.

I've read your story, and it seem this all started when you had a fight, that's because Amy was there for her.

And you said they got closer after because they were going out together on the weekends.

I would like to ask you a question about that If I may.

Did they invite or try to include you in these activities?

I have a lot of friends but no best friends, in my life friends come and go.

I used to have a best friend in school but at the end of year 11 we both changed, I made some new friends who understood me and liked the same music I did and I started dressing like them. But my friends from school went the other way and we didn't speak anymore.

I think you should still be friends and you should talk to amy about it to.

There will be a time when amy and jazz fall out. And who will jazz have behind her when they do?

[caged_bird]

Thank-you for answering. I have managed to talk to Amy, but we never resolve the problem and I only walk away, hating her the more. I tried inviting Jazz lots of times, but she was always busy. I was wondering why she seemed to have time for Amy, but never any time for me. And I also have to say that this isn't Jazz's fault entirely - I'm the one who instigated the fight between us. You seem to understand the situation well; that was my original plan: wait for Amy to make a mistake, but I'm starting to think that she never will. I can't compare to Amy. She's my complete opposite - talkative, happy-go-lucky, friendly.
And I don't know if I should talk to Jazz because in my letter I said that I would let her decide and she still hasn't talken to me :(