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awefn91565 · Sep 1, 2008, 06:39 AM

So about a month ago my girlfriend went to college and everything seemed great. We were so happy together and everyone of our friend though their was no way we would break up. Well they were all right till about a week ago. I was on her Facebook because she asked me to go on it and check something so I did, I saw a conversation she had with her roommate. She was asking what should she do, I can't let this go on ne longer, and she said she was going to talk to her mom. Naturally that night when she called I confronted her about. And she broke up with me:( . She said if she was still here we'd be together. She was crying very hard and I could tell it was descion that she didn't want to have to make. According to a friend she was afraid we wouldn't be friends. Two days later she called and I found out the reasons. They were the distance and the fact I was very insecure. But again she re-iterated that if she was still here would be together .But I always felt she promised thing that were to hard to keep. Since then I haven't been calling her or en thing obsessively were about to talk for the second time since the break-up and I plan to be casual and not bring anything up about our relationship. I feel like that she may have just been to stressed and couldn't balance me anymore. But every time we plan on talking she seems very happy. So this is the big question: Do you think that maybe one day she will realize that she wants to get back together with me? And keep in mind I'm not pushing anything on her right none that oh I'm so depressed. I'm acting like I'm just fine

awefn91565 · Sep 1, 2008, 06:51 AM

I failed to mention that she said that we would never be together again but she saying a couple day after we broke up which I was expecting her mind to change and the fact that she come home for 3 months in the winter and 4 in the summer

awefn91565 · Sep 1, 2008, 06:52 AM

*which I wasn't expecting her to change her mind
(sorry didn't read that one)

mimi03 · Sep 1, 2008, 07:02 AM

In my opinion... I think you should start to move on.
Don't even consider: "Will she ever want me back."

She's young and fickle and like most her age... she probably doesn't know who she is and what she wants out of life.

Because of her uncertainty she made a tough decision, to let go of her relationship... she could have strung you along for a very stressful ride or even given you the good old "let's take a break" line (I hate that!)

So, be thankful that it's over now instead of later when you've invested more time and feelings. Sure it hurts now but each day to week it will be less painful until finally you can look back and see the lesson within this breakup.

Focus on rebuilding yourself and if it's too much to be friends with her right now, Don't... keep your distance until your feelings for her have subsided...

JBeaucaire · Sep 1, 2008, 08:15 AM

Your story reads like a simple and honest tale. I don't think there's any big mystery here or problem to solve. All relationships end for one reason or another. Yours isn't strong enough for a long distance stance.

That's reasonable. It's also reasonable to accept reality. You two AREN'T in the same place anymore, and staying together when things have changed / you two have changed is ignoring reality.

You fell hard for a girl, which means you CAN. That means the sooner you get back out there and start looking again, the sooner it can/will happen again.

Good luck.

awefn91565 · Sep 2, 2008, 06:07 AM

So in an early post I wrote about how my ex-girlfriend broke up with me cause of this distance of college. Today she called and we talked about what we have been doing lately and what the other one was up too. It was a very good step into us becoming friend but she seemed to care about things I was doing that she would have only cared about if we were still dating. She was very flirty but yes we all have to take the fact that we only broke up about week ago. One of her friends told me though that she misses me and has had guys hit on her and she turned them down every time when I told I may not be able tp see her when she come because I was going to visit a friend in college instantly started to try to find time where were could see eacother. And next year when I transfer out of this college I found the college I'm going to transfer to is only 30 mintues away from her but I'm not planning on telling her because I don't want her to think I'm going their because of her.so basically I am asking do you think that she still want to be with me and do you think it is possible.

lmangileri · Sep 2, 2008, 06:23 AM

What went wrong when you guys were together? How did it end?

awefn91565 · Sep 2, 2008, 06:39 AM

She said the distance played a major role which I expected and I was insecure at first. It ended by she broke up with me and she told me twice that if she was still here it would work. Im just wondering if this could ever happen again and I'm sorry I left that detail out

talaniman · Sep 2, 2008, 07:09 AM

Don't stand in the way of her doing her thing, and well she should be. Take this break up as a way of growing up, and seeing what you want from life.

Your not kids anymore, and you both need to let each other grow beyond the break up. The real world is waiting for you both, so don't let this distance relationship stop either of you from embracing your futures. One day at a time.

talaniman · Sep 2, 2008, 07:12 AM

Neither of you is very realistic, and she is insecure as you are. Not good with the distance between you. Back off contacting her and let her deal with what she has, without pressure form you.

At this point, neither of you are broken up, your just not together.

BlakeCory · Sep 2, 2008, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by awefn91565

Do you think that she still wants to be with me and do you think it is possible?

Yes and Yes. Even if you get back together you'll still have to deal with the insecurities. That is the main issue when you look at the big picture. Give yourself some time, give her some time, and maybe you'll be ready.

awefn91565 · Sep 20, 2008, 07:06 AM

My girlfriend recently went off to college. A couple weeks into college she broke up with me. I was completely caught off guard and surprised. After that I didn't do the typicl things like call her or beg for her back. So I started to think that after we broke up it just couldn't work. But a couple of days ago I went street racing she made me call her before I left. When I returned home around 5 am I called her and told her I was fine. Three hours later she sent me a text message saying "Whats going on you never called." I called her and calmed her down. And later that day we talked on the phone for around 30 mintues. In that ocnversation we agreeded to go out to eat when she comes home. A day later I texted her. She didn't respond so then I texted are you mad at me. She heard from a friend I didn't race but then when I started to get mad she started to apologize for not trusting me. Since then we haven't talked and it been about a week now. I don't what to do. I still love her a lot.Do you still think she wants to be with me? Does she love me any more?"

jjwoodhull · Sep 20, 2008, 04:52 PM

I think she wants it both ways. She wants to be broken up so that she is free to do whatever she wants at school. But she wants to string you along so that she can hang out with you when she comes home. You deserve to be treated better than that. She has broken up with you. Stop calling, texting, etc. and move on.

h0llister · Sep 20, 2008, 04:57 PM

Wait to see what she wants , I think she still needs time to think . School is a big stress for her right now and I think you should just give her time. Do a NC until she calls you

talaniman · Sep 20, 2008, 07:51 PM

You are broken up, and your both free to do as you please, but she will still try to keep you close, its called having your cake and eating it too.

Its up to you to let her have you, without a relationship or not. Personally, I think your better off leaving her alone, as when she finds her interests on someone else, your time will be severely reduced.

"But you still can be friends". That's what's coming next, and before you wonder about how she feels, it doesn't matter because she will never be your exclusive g/f again.

wikedjuggalo · Sep 20, 2008, 07:56 PM

Um o.k did anyone else fail to see the bigger issue. Street racing will end up getting someone killed. I can go fast in my car but does not mean I will, I like having life. Very bad idea, just because you can go fast does not mean you should. But that is not why you posted.

As far as her man let her go do not contact her and be contacted. She wants you as a comfort zone. Either she wants a relationship or does not. She cannot do what ever she wants and keep you as a comfort zone, its not fair to you.

awefn91565 · Oct 10, 2008, 05:10 AM

SO about 2 months ago me and my girlfriend broke up. She went off to college and I should have expected us to break us up. But so many times she told me we would make through college. And during here high school years her parents kept a tight grip on her, she never partied or anything. So I expected when she went to college just to let loose and go out and have fun so I gave her the option many times just to be like it OK lets just be friends for now. But I let my guard down that was a mistake. After we broke up we almost talked everyday. She still seemed to care about me and we made plans and stuff for when she comes home. I still love her but I'm not nieve like most people and I don't want to be like you were going to get back together because its good to realistic. I want her back and recently I've decided that not talking to her would be the best course of action for me in many areas. It will allow me to move on and not hold on to her. And I feel like if I ever want to get back together with her giving her space right now is the right thing to do. But I really did love her... :( So what do I do from here? Are my actions correct?

talaniman · Oct 10, 2008, 06:14 AM

You're a very mature and smart guy, so I think the stickies at the beginning of this forum are just what you need.

There is a link in my signature in case you have trouble find them.

Let us know what you think.

awefn91565 · Oct 22, 2008, 12:57 PM

So me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago because she went to college. The break up was a surprise. And it caught totally caught me off guard. I went no contact for 3 weeks until a couple days ago when I texted her we talked for about three hour and when I hinted to her that I might not be around for her birthday(which is the reason she coming home) she gave me a sad " You're not gonna be there are you." This made me feel like a complete if I don't go see her. Yes I do want to be with her but I realized I'm fed up with this whole situation. SO should I go see her or not? What should I do?

TrueFaith · Oct 22, 2008, 03:43 PM

She is trying to have her CAKE and eat it

She does not want to be with you. Yet she wants you around.
Probable for a gift or something..

I don't think you should go. You should drop her and get her out of your life.

Unless accept her as a friend.. and don't pine and lust after her.

Which my friend is REALLY hard to do I have tried it and I just ened up the dude that she spoke to about her bad boyfriends.

Yeah I learnt the hard way lol

Leave her she is not worth your time.
Use it to find someone you want to be with