[smackyglam]

Hi, everybody.. Thank you for reading this.
I am 24 years old and I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a month ago.
He began to say he was really busy and could not think of any...
Afterthat, he told he needed "space" to concentrate on his work.
I made dicision to break up with him to respect him.
I was really sad to lose him but I thought it was no choice.
He said that he hurt me a lot but...
He asked me to be friend and do not ignore him.
I did not want to lose him as a friend until this thing happen...

I have found that he is with a new girlfriend... already!
He put the lovely photo with his new girl to SNS after a week of breking up.
I have heard about her from common friends of us as well.
I do not know when he got the girl but it really let me down.
We were together 3 years and we were really serious about our relationship.
Although we sometimes far away, we could manage it and it was fine.
We were in long distance relationship at that time..

Even though I am in pain, I am trying to move on and accept the fact.
However, I just got the e-mail from him.
It is just about how am I and he has not heard from me so long.
He may know that I know about his girlfriend.
I do not know why he send e-mail.

Should I reply his message?
Should I be friend with him?

Thanks!

[poseidon]

Hello Smackyglam,

It certainly appears that you are taking the right approach to getting over the relationship.

Three years is quite a long time and it is never easy to start again after a relationship has foundered. I honestly believe that you will soon be able to move on completely and carry on with your life.

With regard to your ex, I have a sneaking suspicion that he was 'two timing' you during the time you were together. The attitude he showed toward you making you decide to end the relationship seems to point to that.

I would suggest you consider breaking up as his loss, not yours.

Whether to answer his email or remain friends with him must be your decision.

If you do answer his email and tell him you are prepared to remain friends, it could make the healing process that much longer, but it is showing him that you are mature enough to accept the relationship is over and that there are plenty more guys out there who will appreciate you for who you are.

If you decide that you no longer wish to be associated with him, my advice is to answer his email and diplomatically tell him so. Something like:

"Our relationship was good while it lasted but it is now over and it is time to move on"

Do you know whether your ex is still seeing his new girl? I am wondering if something has happened to his relationship with her and he is trying to get back with you. If this is the case my advice is to think very carefully before getting back together in the kind of relationship you had before.

If he was either seeing this other girl before you ended the relationship, or he quickly got over you and entered into another, I am wondering how much he really cares, or cared for you.

I hope this has been of help to you.

Good luck

Cy
(Poseidon)

[milliec]

Hello Smackyglam,
While I agree with most of what was said by Cy (Poseidon), there are some points I view in a different way.
I, personally, don't like too much the story. It's hard enough for you to heal after 3 years of a serious (at least for you) relationship.
It's even harder when you find out he's "recovered" so fast.
It really hurts.
The fact that he tried to keep in touch with you, doesn't have to be anything going in your favor. It could be for a million reasons, one of them might be that he's sort of "keeping the cake whole".
I really think you should put him behind you, it was his decision, but as Poseidon pointed, it's actually better for you.
You have to cut all the communications with him, in order to heal and be able to move on, and find someone who will appreciate you correctly.
I wish you the best luck,
Take care,
Millie
:)

[fredg]

Hi,
It sounds more like "you" were in a serious relationship, but "he" wasn't!
I would ignore any communication from him, and try moving on with your life. Going through a "break" usually means it's over. Some need time to "find themselves", and usually find someone else.
It's hard, and love really hurts sometimes. Took me a year to get over my first girlfriend, and after 6 yrs, at 22 yrs old, she found someone else. After being married now for 29 yrs, I look back at how love is really strange, thinking of relationships that really never were, to start with.
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

[talaniman]

How can you want to be friends with a dishonest person who was cheating on you? Just me but who has time to worry about a one-way relationship that you are through with? He didn't appreciate you then will he now? Don't contact him at all, blow him out of your life as he did you! Move to better things :cool:

[Wildcat21]

I would not respond. Move on.

Space generally means 85% of the time they need space from you so they can find out if the NEW gal is going to stick around - if not - you're still back up.

Sounds like he cheated on you - right? No sees someone new in a week.

He is playing wit hyou when he aid all that break up stuff.

[Fr_Chuck]

The lets be friend at this point of your life and your break up just won't happen, it would cause you to take longer to get over him and allow him some control still in your relationship.

Most likely he is wanting to keep your door open to in case this new relationship hits the rocks.