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xxrangerxx · Jun 26, 2008, 07:46 PM

Hi folks, my girlfriend of 2 yrs that I lived with and that I thought was going to marry broke up with me 2 months ago and she's already with another guy. What's worse is that she's with a guy who she was hangin around with a few weeks prior to our break up. I've been miserable more often than not, and it has a lot to do with the fact that not only do we still work together but we share the same office...

Anyway, today I found out that her father (who owns the business) told me that last week he had lied to her and told her that I was seeing a real beautiful girl and what not, just to jack her up because he's actually real pissed tha she'd do such an awful thing to me. He then told me that she had a semi flip out and couldn't believe that I'd be seeing someone, when yet she is currently already seeing this other guy..? What the hell could possibly be going through her head? It's like, she wants to have her cake and eat it too...

What exactly is it that she's trying to accomplish?

Spikeman · Jun 26, 2008, 07:52 PM

In my opinion given the facts that you have stated she does want the cake and she does want to eat it so to speak. She wants to have you around not seeing anyone as a security deposit so to speak while she goes off with this new guy. Frankly she's messing with your head, get on NC and forget about her.

I hope what I said helps out. Take care and god bless

xxrangerxx · Jun 26, 2008, 07:59 PM

NC is kind of impossible because we work and share the same office space... which stinks for me!

I just think if you do care about someone then why mess with their emotions like that? It's just awful...

ylaira · Jun 26, 2008, 08:02 PM

Do you consider urself a great man? A great BF ? Do you think you deserve loyalty? Then u know what to do......

Spikeman · Jun 26, 2008, 08:04 PM

That does suck with the non nc, keep it professonal and leave it at that then is the best.

Some people are just like that and there's nothing you can really do,and my ex tried to do that to me. The classic "i think we need a break"(come to find out that same day she went to a pool party with her ex) and did it suck yes, and I am still appalled but the fact that some people are like that but what can you do. Sure you could chase them but it rarely works, all you can do it let it get out of your system but doing hobbies and such and take it one day at a time.

xxrangerxx · Jun 26, 2008, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by ylaira

Do you consider urself a great man? A great BF ? Do you think you deserve loyalty? Then u know what to do......

You're absolutely right...

I got to take this as lesson learned and move on... I certainly do not deserve to be treated that way and she doesn't deserve a good guy like me...

ylaira · Jun 26, 2008, 08:12 PM

When someone is born unfaithful, u have nothing to do with it. Ur ex is just unfaithful, she will cheat no matter what. So thinking what have u done wrong is just a waste of time. Just do something productive instead of killing urself thinking.

ylaira · Jun 26, 2008, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by xxrangerxx

You're absolutely right....

I gotta take this as lesson learned and move on... I certainly do not deserve to be treated that way and she doesn't deserve a good guy like me...

Thats the attitude!! Be strong man. Don't worry this shall pass, just like ur other problems years ago...U'll see..

xxrangerxx · Jun 26, 2008, 08:17 PM

Originally Posted by ylaira

When someone is born unfaithful, u have nothing to do with it. Ur ex is just unfaithful, she will cheat no matter what. So thinking what have u done wrong is just a waste of time. Just do something productive instead of killing urself thinking.

Yeah I've spent a lot of time the past 2 months going through the "what ifs" or just wondering "why". But now that I know she had this other guy all along... it is obvious that this was meant to happen. Sadly enough.. this wasn't the first time she did this to me.

We met and dated 2 yrs in college.. dropped me to be with another guy.. we went a year without seeing each other. We met up again and things seemed different. Knowing that we weren't in college anymore and we both did a lot of "growing up" and maturing, I was willing to forget the past.

Then WHAM... Deja-vu all over again. So you're right... she'll always get "bored" and move on to the next "flavor of the week". And I can't let her think that I'll always be there for her to fall back on...

westnlas · Jun 26, 2008, 08:17 PM

Man, women seem to love drama. If there isn't enough of it in their lives, they create some. They start in high school as something to talk to their inner circle about, and many never outgrow it. Consider yourself lucky to get rid of this one. A life with a girl like that can be real real hard. They are never satisfied. Never a good enough house, yard, clothes, car, money, etc. She would lie awake nights thinking of reasons she would be unsatisfied. Congratulations!

confused1145 · Jun 26, 2008, 08:21 PM

Sounds to me like she doesn't want you, but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. I'm am in the same situation. You deserve better than that! Try to avoid her as much as possible. Keep your relationship with her strictly professional.

talaniman · Jun 26, 2008, 08:40 PM

You can go crazy wondering what on her mind, but the one fact you do have is this relationship is over and hard as it will be you must move on AND see her everyday. Be polite but brief.

xxrangerxx · Jun 26, 2008, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You can go crazy wondering what on her mind, but the one fact you do have is this relationship is over and hard as it will be you must move on AND see her everyday. Be polite but brief.

Yeah that's what I've been trying to do. I mean she still tries to act like we're friends but I have been short with her when she does that.

starlite1 · Jun 27, 2008, 06:04 AM

Hi Ranger,

Have you ever thought about leaving the company and working somewhere else? I actually worked with my ex, different depts. Though, but still it was so hard, I know exactly how you feel. When I evenutally left the company (well, laid off because they downsized), it was the best thing for me. Just a thought.

xxrangerxx · Jun 27, 2008, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by starlite1

Hi Ranger,

Have you ever thought about leaving the company and working somewhere else? I actually worked with my ex, different depts. though, but still it was so hard, I know exactly how you feel. When I evenutally left the company (well, laid off because they downsized), it was the best thing for me. Just a thought.

Trust me I have been trying. Job market is pretty awful right now and unfortunately I can't up and go even though I want to so bad.

If I'm going to leave I need to be making the same if not more money so I can still afford to live and pay bills and stuff. Unfortunately money is the only thing that's holding me back. The second an opportunity arises though, I will be on it like a fat kid on a cupcake.

The hardest part it is sitting here and listening to her chit chat with others about all the great things that are happening with her (used to be our) house and other things that I'd prefer not to hear. But... I just continue to work on and just need to do the best I can to ignore it...

starlite1 · Jun 27, 2008, 06:46 AM

Originally Posted by xxrangerxx

Trust me I have been trying. Job market is pretty awful right now and unfortunately I can't up and go even though I want to so bad.

If I'm going to leave I need to be making the same if not more money so I can still afford to live and pay bills and stuff. Unfortunately money is the only thing that's holding me back. The second an opportunity arises though, I will be on it like a fat kid on a cupcake.

The hardest part it is sitting here and listening to her chit chat with others about all the great things that are happening with her (used to be our) house and other things that I'd prefer not to hear. But... I just continue to work on and just need to do the best I can to ignore it...

I really feel for you, and know this situation all too well. You are doing the right thing, keep looking, and you will find a better job and will be away from all of this soon. Good Luck!