[Nakedness]

Hi Everyone,

I've known my (30 year old) current girlfriend (27 year old) for the past 2 years which during this time we broke up and got back together 6 times. We get back together for a couple months and then things take a turn. Usually it ends her manifesting her unhappiness (not due to me doing stupid things like lying or cheating etc... ) and tell me that she doesn't think I am the right person for her. So we break-up and she is feels better for the first 2 weeks and then reality hits her and she dives into depression because I am no longer part of her life. From my side I really like her (might even love her but I am bit confused right now about it all) but due to all these ups and downs I am a little distance out from it but it doesn't mean I am not there for her, I just take life less seriously and more with a zen attitude. This was because one of the last break up we had really hurt me and put in very dark place. But then time passed and I became myself again and we both decided to give each other another chance even if we both started moving on with different people but because we felt that if we didn't keep giving each other chances later on in life we would regret it.

For we something's that we don't look eye to eye for example marriage and having kids. Because of her past with her parents dragging her through a violent and awful separation she is on the fence on marriage and having children. Someday's she talks about having them and others says never.

So we are back together now since October and we celebrate the holidays with her family and mine and everything was perfect and we were both very happy that we decided to get back together. Then the first days of the new year rolled and I noticed her being unhappy with current things in life like her job, the little weight she took during the holiday's (haven't even noticed it). My thought was because of the new year she started questioning her life and what her purposes is and this cause a lot of insecurities to come out. I've been trying to help her out with searching for a new job that she could love and enjoy going to and trying to help finding activities that could help her find her passion.

All things started to get better for a bit and then downslope to the point she made me feel like it was a burden to pass time with me and that all I was doing was annoying her while trying to help her with her job search and being there for her.

So I backed off a little more telling her that she might need time on her own to figure things out but that I was there for her if she needed me. So for a couple days we didn't see each other but I was still helping her out with her job search by finding jobs she might like and helping her writing the letters and so on.

Then we started seeing each other again and going out to dinner and hanging out and then every time we would do something she would be great and then by the end of the day she seemed to get started to get annoyed by me so I would give her her space and leave.

So a couple more days would pass by where we wouldn't see each other but still talk by phone or text till the other day where she told me she needed to talk. So we went to talk and she told me the usual things that she wasn't feeling well with me but wanted to know what I thought before taking any decision. I told her I was fine and missed her and that I understood that the new year can be difficult and where a lot of people question them self and there life and that this can cause unhappiness. But that I was there for her and wasn't think of giving up on her. Then she told me that in these moments she doesn't feel like her self and doesn't understand why she is always upset with me but that it was something from my part that was making her that way. She couldn't tell me what it was, but told me that she couldn't imagine herself with me for the rest of her life but on the other hand didn't want to make the same mistakes she made in the past where she just impulsively broke up and then regret it a couple weeks after.

So we ended the conversation with her needing time to think about things. I told her I would give her space but again if she needed me to talk or anything that I was there. Then I was out of down Friday night to go to my brothers birthday (she was invited but refused because of all the break ups she doesn't feel comfortable yet with my whole family) so she started texting me and calling me asking me to come pick her up at the bar but I told her that it wasn't possible like she knew but that I would call her a taxi, she refused and told me that she was going to another bar with her friends(which confirmed to me that she was looking over her). Then hours after she called me and texted me again to ask her to pick her up but again I couldn't and got them taxi to go home. Got home the next day didn't turn on my phone till 2 in the afternoon when I woke up and she has been writing me the whole afternoon accusing me that I cheated with her and that is why I couldn't come or why my phone was off. I would never cheat on anyone I told her that was she was accusing me off was silly and that I didn't understand why she acted this way. She started telling me that I f didn't care about her and that it was why I wasn't there for her last night and that she was fed up of all of it and that we needed to talk again.

So before I went to have the talk I wanted everyone's opinion and advice, because I am little lost. One day I think about fighting and keep going and another I am thinking that maybe she is really unstable that she might be this way all her life and that its just going to destroy me in the long run,

Thanks a lot for your help and sorry for the long post.

Nd

[Homegirl 50]

This relationship is too up and down, too much drama to be good.
Time to walk away from this.

[talaniman]

She has issues for sure guy, but what I see is that while you try to do right, you still let her get away with murder. 6 break ups in two years is but a preview of times to come, and its you who must make the decision when enough is enough and break up for good and don't go back.

One time is understandable, even two. But 6?? By the same female?? That's totally unacceptable.

[Jiser]

You are 30. Not to old or to young to meet someone new and have a good life. You need to stop messing around and get rid of this drama before you end up at 40 going round and round without a relationship which makes you happy.

Do yourself a favor and move on. Go no contact and leave this one behind, its clearly messing you up as your posting here. You probably know what's right for you and maybe you need us all to spell it out for you! And so we have... MOVE ON :)

Get busy and plan your diary with new things.

[Nakedness]

First of all I want to thank everyone for taking the time to answer and going through my painfully badly written question. So I did what I knew I had to do and had the talk with her which went awful. She went bezerk and actually put her hands on me.

This morning I got the wonderful surprise of her dumping my belongings that I left at her house on my office desk with some of it destroyed.

Since we work together what can be done from my side to make sure that things do not go out of control were she might have another outburst of insaness?

I don't want to have issues at work for either her or myself.

Thanks a lot again for your help,

Nd

[Homegirl 50]

You avoid her. Hopefully this immature outburst is the end of it.
In the future, don't play where you work.

[talaniman]

Look out for yourself buddy because obviously you cannot control her. She may snap at any time and any place so make sure YOU are correct. Avoid her like the plague.