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fncr4life · Jul 8, 2010, 05:43 PM

Please read everything, don't just skim through this either. I am a 14 year old girl and I REALLLLY like a 12 year old, he is my best friend and I have known him for 3 years. Our families are close friends and about 3 months age he expressed to me that he likes me as more than a friend. So I'm not going to lie, I of course told him I like him back. All my friends think it is weird because I am going into 10th grade and he is going into 8th grade. But they don't know him and he knows me better than any other friend Ive ever had. We still like each other and our parents know, they are okay with us liking each other as long as we don't do anything stupid. Obviously we aren't interested in having sex or something, we just want to be able to do simple things like: holding hands, kissing, and hugging. Is it okay for us to do these things if we are careful?

ScottGem · Jul 8, 2010, 05:52 PM

He is way too young for those things. He's a child. You aren't much more than a child.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 8, 2010, 05:57 PM

Neither one of you have any business doing that.
You are both probably hormonal and kissing and hormones are not a good mix when you're 12 and 14.

redhed35 · Jul 9, 2010, 09:32 AM

Having a good friend is priceless,having a peer in which you can confide in is priceless.

Stick with staying friends,your both too young yet to start kissing etc,but what you can do is,hang out together,be good friends and both have someone to talk too.

fncr4life · Jul 9, 2010, 03:06 PM

He's the most grown-up child I've ever met.

fncr4life · Jul 9, 2010, 03:18 PM

I think I like your answer the best...
He is my best friend and I hope he always is :) He is an amazing person and I couldn't ask for anyone better in my life :)
Thanks!

ScottGem · Jul 9, 2010, 06:59 PM

Comments on this post
fncr4life : he's the most grown-up child I've ever met.

And at 14 you're an expert?

needssomehelpplease · Jul 10, 2010, 09:40 AM

Well I live in Scotland and in the area I live no one really cares about age. If you like each other enough and know each other well then I wouldn't see a problem in going out. My friend's going out with someone who's 9 months younger and in the year below. She's also taller than him so they get a lot of slagging off for it but they like each other a lot and have a lot in common so they don't let it come between them. But I'm not an expert just to let you know ;)

Just be careful though. If you went out and it didn't end well then would your friendship ever be the same?

Curlyben · Jul 10, 2010, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by needssomehelpplease

well i live in Scotland and in the area i live no one really cares about age. if you like each other enough and know each other well then i wouldn't see a problem in going out. my friend's going out with someone who's 9 months younger and in the year below. she's also taller than him so they get a lot of slagging off for it but they like each other a lot and have a lot in common so they don't let it come between them. but i'm not an expert just to let you know ;)

As the OP is in AMERICA it makes a HUGE difference.

During early teen years there is a huge amount of development to go through.

justcurious55 · Jul 10, 2010, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by needssomehelpplease

well i live in Scotland and in the area i live no one really cares about age. if you like each other enough and know each other well then i wouldn't see a problem in going out. my friend's going out with someone who's 9 months younger and in the year below. she's also taller than him so they get a lot of slagging off for it but they like each other a lot and have a lot in common so they don't let it come between them. but i'm not an expert just to let you know ;)

The OP didn't tell us where she is. Since it might not be Scotland, and it might be somewhere where the age of consent is much higher, encouraging this relationship is not a good idea.

ScottGem · Jul 10, 2010, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by needssomehelpplease

well i live in Scotland and in the area i live no one really cares about age. if you like each other enough and know each other well then i wouldn't see a problem in going out. my friend's going out with someone who's 9 months younger and in the year below. she's also taller than him so they get a lot of slagging off for it but they like each other a lot and have a lot in common so they don't let it come between them. but i'm not an expert just to let you know ;)

just be careful though. if you went out and it didn't end well then would your friendship ever be the same?

First, you are not even 13 yourself and while peer advice is sometimes valuable, more often then not it can be the blind leading the blind. Second, 9 months to a year is generally not an age gap issue, but a 14 yr old girl with a 12 yr old boy does present a LOT of issues. If they wer 17 and 15 even it would be different. If they were 27 and 25 it wouldn't be an issue, but 14 and 12 especially if the boy is 12 is just too far outside the norm.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 10, 2010, 11:23 AM

This is why pre-teens and teens need parental guidance. You don't leave kids to their own devices. They may think they know what is best for them but they have no clue.

septemberlove · Jul 11, 2010, 05:06 AM

I understand how much you like him, and how you feel that he understand you the most-which is something to cherish. However, there are some big issues here.

Think back to when you were 12. Remember your friends, your school, your choices, your family. Now think about those things at this time. How have they changed? Do you have different opinions and attitudes and reactions to things? Have you learned more about relationships and life in those 2 years?
I'm positive that you have.

Your friend will too. I know that you feel he is "grown up" or at least equal to your maturity, but there are certain things life and experience haven't taught him yet. If you truly want this relationship to work out-give it time. Be a friend. Let him gain experience like you were able to.

Then, once you are both in high school/or college, try to see if something is there. Right now, he is too young, and if you can't see that/understand that so are you.

A previous poster also makes a very good point- if you were to date (at any point in your lives) and it didn't work out, are you willing to lose a wonderful friendship?

fncr4life · Jul 11, 2010, 10:22 AM

OK thank you for this answer, I appreciate it very much. That is what I plan on doing, waiting a few years is OK with me :)

fncr4life · Jul 11, 2010, 10:33 AM

Here lies the problem, you don't know me well enough to know that.

fncr4life · Jul 11, 2010, 10:34 AM

Well you sure aren't Mr. Renaissance Man/ Computer Geek.

fncr4life · Jul 11, 2010, 10:38 AM

Its good to hear from some one my age but I don't live in Scotland and I think my situation is differnet because 9 months isn't much of an age gap... thanks for your input though!

fncr4life · Jul 11, 2010, 10:40 AM

You could consider just about anything outside the "norm" if you wanted to. Like I consider a Renaissance Man answering a question about teens as "just too far outside the norm."

fncr4life · Jul 11, 2010, 10:41 AM

Just ignore that comment because for some reason half of it was deleted and it doesn't make much sense without the 2nd half... sorry about that.

justcurious55 · Jul 11, 2010, 02:42 PM

Comments on this post
Fncr4life : you could consider just about anything outside the "norm" if you wanted to. Like I consider a Renaissance Man answering a question about teens as "just too far outside the norm."

Your comments on the posts just show how immature you are and prove that you thinking a twelve year old is grown up doesn't mean zilch. Scott has earned the title of expert in two areas, that doesn't mean those are the only two areas he knows anything about. A mature person would realize that. You're not liking some of the answers you're getting because a 14 year old dating a 12 year old is just not right. And that's fine, you don't have to like every answer. But that doesn't excuse your rude comments to other users.