|
|
|
|
Full Member
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 12:33 PM
|
|
Why is my husband signing up for dating sites
I have caught my husband 3 times signing up for dating sites and getting a profile and all. I ask him why he does it and he says it don't mean nothing... but it still hurts a lot... I don't know why he keep on doing it, he says he loves me and he doesn't want anyone else... what do I do.
|
|
|
Ultra Member
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 02:11 PM
|
|
Ask him if it would be okay if you can start going on dates to actual places?
If it means nothing in the first place, then he would never go on these sites.
He is doing it to meet people. I don't think he is being honest with you.
You need to express how much it hurts you.
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 02:18 PM
|
|
He is registering on dating sites to go out on dates. Sorry but you know what it means.
|
|
|
Full Member
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 02:40 PM
|
|
Well I told him if I catch him doing it again he can leave... I don't want him... he has this last chance... we have a small child so I want to try one more time... if not he can hit the road
|
|
|
Ultra Member
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 02:44 PM
|
|
Originally Posted by nitelight198073
Well i told him if i catch him doing it again he can leave....I dont want him...he has this last chance...we have a small child so i want to try one more time...if not he can hit the road
Good for you... you don't need to worry about him cheating!
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 02:56 PM
|
|
So he gets 4 strikes!! Good Luck.
|
|
|
Printers & Electronics Expert
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 03:00 PM
|
|
It's not that he doesn't know that he is hurting you, it's that he does not care that he's hurting you.
Next time he comes knocking on your door for marritial bliss (a.k.a. sex) ask him whether he was able to get a date?
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 03:00 PM
|
|
Yes, now he knows to be a lot more careful, do you check the computer data history
|
|
|
Ultra Member
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 03:06 PM
|
|
Unplug he computer and tell him it Does matter.He is on line cheating!
Ask him how he would like it if you did the same?
Cut him off.. no computer at all and I would check out what he is saying and doing by checking his history.
Snoop and find out how far it has advanced. Keep your evidence and then present him with it. Arm yourself with his words and don't let him know you are watching.
|
|
|
Full Member
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 07:12 PM
|
|
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
yes, now he knows to be alot more careful, do you check the computer data history
Oh yes and I know all his passwords and such so yes I keep good tabs
|
|
|
Full Member
|
|
Jan 31, 2009, 07:13 PM
|
|
Thanks so much for all your answers and support I appreciate it:D
|
|
|
New Member
|
|
Feb 3, 2009, 08:21 PM
|
|
Tell him he can't have his "cake" and eat it too!!
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Feb 6, 2009, 08:28 PM
|
|
Sorry for your situation. No matter what he says he is signing up for those sites because he is looking for sex. Not just a date, think about it. Why would one really be signing up for that.
Have you asked him if he s attracted to you. Can you both go to counseling. What he is doing is disgusting but always remember you are not perfect as well. How is you sex life, does he seem interested in you. Are you holding out on him. Remember he is a man if he is not getting it at home he will look out side the marriage. Not all men will do that but intimacy is a very important part of any marriage.
|
|
|
Ultra Member
|
|
Feb 6, 2009, 08:48 PM
|
|
I know from your previous posts that you have a new baby. This could be a reason to try to save your marriage. I don't believe that he is doing this for entertainment only. You need to confront him again about his lying and possible cheating or intent to cheat. You need to insist on marriage counseling either with a counelor or clergy.
Also, most of these sites are not free. How much money is he wasting on this game?
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Feb 6, 2009, 09:07 PM
|
|
Simple.
Sign up for your own profile for the dating websites! Make your own contact with people. He is doing it while hurting you and knowing it! You caught him three times! He is letting you catch it sounds like to me. It's like sending you a message, " you better be nice and let me do what I want. " It's like a scare tactic being drilled in your brain.
Give your own scare tactic! Look on the website and flirt by emails with perfectly good strangers like he wants to.
Hell, maybe you will find someone BETTER!
|
|
|
New Member
|
|
Feb 7, 2009, 06:54 AM
|
|
If the uncertainty is killing you you can always find out what he is really doing on these sites by installing a sniffer software (would be glad to point you to some of them). There are some decent free ones as well.
On a slightly different vein, is he going though a mid-life crisis of sorts and trying to spice up his (dull) life? If that's the case, you could come up with ways to spice it up... for both of you. And I don't mean just a spiced up sex life... could be a day spa, the theater, a night club or whatever you believe he would like and breaks away from your normal social routine.
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Feb 7, 2009, 01:30 PM
|
|
Originally Posted by nitelight198073
Oh yes and i know all his passwords and such so yes i keep good tabs
This should tell you quite a bit about your marriage at the moment. You shouldn't have to keep tabs on him... he shouldn't be putting you in a position where you feel you need to.
Online dating sites are for people who are looking to date... plain and simple. He may just be curious to know what sort of person he might get matched up with, he may be trolling the waters to see what's out there, the reason for it really doesn't matter. If it doesn't mean anything to him then he should have no issues with staying off them.
The point is, it means something to you. It hurts you, it makes you feel anxious and worried about what he might be up to and about the state of your relationship. That, in and of itself, should be reason enough for him to stop. If it isn't... then you know where you stand in the marriage.
Talk to him some more... let him know how it is making you feel and see what result you get.
|
|
|
Full Member
|
|
Feb 7, 2009, 05:34 PM
|
|
We have discussed everything and I appreciate everyone's input and a lot of the things you suggested I used and needless to say he now feels like a rat he actually cried and I never seen him cry. So maybe I did some good and if he does it again it is over... and about the whole sex thing no I hadn't given him any sex, I had recently been diagnosed with post pardom depression and was very hard to live with,not excusing his behavior but he was having a hard time too and that is another reason why I gave him another chance... but I told him that if it does happen again he can pack his and leave pardon the language... but I feel a lot better now please wish me luck and hugs and kisses to everyone:)
|
|
|
Full Member
|
|
Feb 7, 2009, 05:36 PM
|
|
Originally Posted by jjwoodhull
I know from your previous posts that you have a new baby. This could be a reason to try to save your marriage. I don't believe that he is doing this for entertainment only. You need to confront him agian about his lying and possible cheating or intent to cheat. You need to insist on marriage counseling either with a counelor or clergy.
Also, most of these sites are not free. How much money is he wasting on this game?
He signed up for free trial it did not cost I know for a fact he did not get the full versions of these sites.
|
|
|
Ultra Member
|
|
Feb 7, 2009, 07:01 PM
|
|
Good luck working everything out. Keep us posted.
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Check out some similar questions!
Why don't men follow through on dating sites?
[ 6 Answers ]
I have been on several dating sites the past few years... most recently a Christian one. I describe myself and have a picture posted... I get responses and all those "quick flirts". Some have expressed that I have all the qualties that they are looking for in a mate... we correspond a few...
Dating Sites
[ 5 Answers ]
Just simply want to hear any success stories or anything about them, just kind of interested
Dating sites and complicated situations
[ 4 Answers ]
I've been in my relationship of 7 years. The last two and a half years we've been living in different states, me in AZ he in FL. Most of this time I have wanted to come but he hasn't-with the exception of two times: once last summer after I had been to fl for 3 weeks to see how it went. Long...
We slept together but he has a profile on several dating sites !
[ 12 Answers ]
Met a guy last October, we went on 5-6 dates and mutually agreed to take it a step further and slept together. We broke up after a couple more weeks (he got back with his ex). We then got back together about 6 weeks ago (yes I agreed to take him back). The other night I was round his place when I...
Dating sites
[ 2 Answers ]
What is with the dating sites today? I have been on 5-6 of them. It seems like all the men(maybe women)are only interested in one thing, a one night stand. I email them several times, talk on the phone,have much in common, hit it off, they know I am only interested in a long term relationship, but...
View more questions
Search
|