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crickett5188 · May 3, 2007, 07:39 AM

My 15 yr old daughter and her now ex-boyfriend who is also 15 yrs old are expecting a child,my daughter is 4 months pregnant now.They had been dating for 10 months and out of the blue he breaks up with her,this is a sweet kid and this threw me for a loop.
My daughter of course has a broken heart and is stressed out to the max.I have spoken to her ex and he seems not to really care,yet he has stated that he would take care of his child... Since their break up they do not talk or go to the same school,rumors and statements are made through her friends and they tell her what he says this causes so much stress that I fear for the baby.I asked him if the two of them could sit down together and talk without all the friends around but he doesn't think he can,he would rather handle things through a lawyer,he has no funds neither do his parents to pay a lawyer.What legal rights do each of them have I am not on either ones side I tell my daughter all the time that he has rights to the baby but she feels that because of the things he says and does that he is nothing to her or their baby.How can I help these two and do I need a lawyer?
Does my daughter have any legal rights regarding the stress that he is putting her under?
Thanks Crickett

whiteladybug2002 · May 3, 2007, 07:58 AM

It is hard when you are a child and expecting a child in it self! I know I was there (17yrs old), but my child's dad married me. He did leave shortly after the marriage and we haven't seen him in 5 yrs! My child is better off! And yours may be too?

They are both 15 yrs old, they shouldn't have to be thinking about this! I hate seeing others go through this, it is hard! We have 30 yr old men that don't take responsibility of their children! How can we expect that from a 15 yr old boy? Or a 15 yr old girl?

At this point, I think the best you can do is support your daughter. Maybe get her some counseling to help her deal with this. You can't and the court can't make this boy do anything until the baby is born and that is just pay child support! They can't require him to talk to your daughter or see his child. I think that getting a lawyer now would be a waste of money and time, because there is nothing to be done.

Good Luck and God Loves You!

tawnynkids · May 3, 2007, 09:57 AM

Yes, you should get a lawyer. If for no other reason than to protect your daughter's rights. You never know, once the dust settles and he has had a chance to deal with this or actually see the baby he may do the right thing. It probably isn't very real to him just yet. He is only 15 and this will be/is a lot more real to her right now.

However, after the baby is born without a court order of custody both parents have EQUAL rights by the law. However, for that to happen he will have to have established his paternity. By DNA, placing his name on the birth certificate, or the both of them agreeing about his paternity on a signed legal document. Once that is established he will have just as much right to the baby as your daughter does. A child support case through you local child support services does not constitute custody. You must do that separately through the court.

Without a "remarkable history" (something criminal, or mental disorder preventing him from making sound parental judgments, or history of making detrimental judgments) on the part of the father if he (or his parents change it for him) changes his mind and he wants joint custody/visitation he will more than likely get it. But without a court order for either he has the legal right to see and take the baby any time he wants, just as she does. Without a court order the local police will do/can do nothing to protect you.

You can file an order to show cause now for the temporary custody of the unborn child until just after the baby is born then a permanent order can be established. Your daughter I am sure is very hurt and feels he has no right to their child because he is not being responsible. However, the court won't really see it that way. They usually don't even if it's with adults, their attitude is unless he can be proven to be unfit (some reason proven that the child would be in danger in his presence or custody) he is here now. Almost every court these days believes it is in the best interest of the child to have as equal a relationship as possible with both parents barring any extreme circumstances.

His reaction right now is understandable, not acceptable, given he is dealing with an adult situation having done an adult act that he simply does not have the maturity for. I feel for all you. But things like this can really grow a kid up and as long as he has sound morals and a good background there is a good chance he will do the right thing. Try not to hold his current actions against him if he does. Blessing to you all...