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mashiat · Mar 25, 2014, 03:27 AM

So, this is what happened. Everything was going really well until last Monday,when we made out for the first. Well,I know this something really normal between a couple but him and I had decided that we would save all kinds of physical intimacy until marriage and unfortunately our promises broke that day. He was really embarrassed about it and was feeling guilty but the feeling was actually mutual between the 2 of us. He apologised a million times for it and I was obviously not upset with him about it though I felt a little bad but I took it normally and told him to forget whatever happened and I'm completely okay with it!

After 2 days, when both my parents weren't at home the entire day and came back late, I called him to inform that they were back, and before hanging up I said,"I love you". Then we talked and again I said I love you and this went on for a while and he did not respond to the last which kind of hurt my ego in a weird way! I hung up on him and texted him. I can't remember what I actually wrote in that text but I wrote it out of anger, and the next day I didn't call him the entire day. I called him at around 5p.m. and found his phone switched off. Called after a few minutes. It was on but he picked up after I redialled the 3rd time! He was being really rude to me all of a sudden and when I asked why he was doing it he wouldn't tell. Then that night he told me he was never coming back to me again but then again the next day he talks to me and gives me positive vibes. He confessed that he himself is confused about what he actually wants! It pretty clear that he loves me but at times you don't want to be with that someone you love because of other reasons! But you still love them.

Anyway,when I asked him (again.Just to make sure) whether he really wants to leave and that is when he doesn't give any answer and completely avoids the topic but at the same time listens to whatever I say with complete concentration! The following day he keeps is cell switched off the entire day! I call his other number but doesn't pick up! The next morning he himself calls me and asks me to stop calling him. I tell him that of he wants to cut all contacts with me he should tell me that on my face and then leave. He shouldn't make himself just "vanish" all of a sudden! He says, "Mashiat, why don't you understand that I don't want to with you anymore?" Then I tell him,"Are you sure you dont want to be with me?" And he gives me another positive vibe by saying that he'll call me after 3. and asks me to study and take care of myself! He himself is really confused!

I want him back and I want him to realise that whatever happened was none of our fault! And I want him to NOT leave me! I want him to be with me! WHAT DO I DO??

Cat1864 · Mar 25, 2014, 03:36 AM

Is this the same boyfriend? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-766363.html

joypulv · Mar 25, 2014, 04:43 AM

Remembering back through the last several months, I am exhausted just thinking about your 'problems.' I don't think it's brutal to say that you seem needy with a capital N. You started admitting that you are impatient. I have a feeling that you are very pretty and desirable, but also used to getting your own way, and that makes you demanding. Men fall for you - for a while.
You are 20 years old, and it's time to stop acting 15. 'You can't remember what you wrote' to him in anger (gee, go back and look), yet are now all hurt and in a panic, and you are insisting that it is neither of your fault. Sure it is.

smoothy · Mar 25, 2014, 04:53 AM

Glancing back through that other thread its clear you seem to have some pathological NEED for a lot of drama.

Personally... I'd have run off screaming. Seems like he's on the cusp of that revelation himself.

Any relationship that full of drama is doomed to failure.

Homegirl 50 · Mar 25, 2014, 08:04 AM

Sounds like you are the one confused. You are the one who text him out of anger because he did not return your "I love you" Maybe he is tired of your drama.

mashiat · Mar 26, 2014, 09:38 PM

Cat1864, yes it is the same boyfriend.

And guys,I won't be able to live without him! I love him a lot but he has sworn to god that he'll never get back to me ever again! And that I don't have what it takes to make him happy!! I promise to change myself to the person he'll be happy with!

P.S: A mutual friend told me that he has been double timing me but I don't believe that because I have tested him in many ways!! I think Ansho himself made him tell me all that so that I go away!
He also made a friend of his call me to ask me to be strong and that there are many things that happens in life... It's pretty clear that he still cares about me!. I don't know if I'm saying what I myself want to hear but I feel like if I stop stalking him until I'm done with my A'levels and then ask him to come back to me.. or at least try to make him come back,that might work. Do you guys agree with me?

I know this is stupid but... I'm helpless.. Can anyone of you please talk to him.. try and understand whether he did cheat on me(though I believe he didnt).. and whether my plan will work.. as in if given time for him to cool down will he come back?

(removed for safety)

Homegirl 50 · Mar 26, 2014, 09:48 PM

You have no right to post his Facebook information here. You need to leave this guy alone before he decides to bring stalking charges against you

J_9 · Mar 26, 2014, 10:21 PM

Originally Posted by mashiat

I know this is stupid but... I'm helpless.. Can anyone of you please talk to him.. try and understand whether he did cheat on me(though I believe he didnt).. and whether my plan will work.. as in if given time for him to cool down will he come back?

(removed for safety)

Yes, that was stupid. Putting his personal FB information for the world to see, without his permission, borders on insane.

Leave him alone before you get yourself into trouble.

mashiat · Mar 27, 2014, 12:46 AM

He wouldn't mind I know him... Anyways,As per the rules I want to remove that post.. Could you help?

smoothy · Mar 27, 2014, 04:48 AM

Remove a post as per what rules? The post was already edited by a moderator to remove the offending information.

Originally Posted by mashiat

I know this is stupid but... I'm helpless.. Can anyone of you please talk to him.. try and understand whether he did cheat on me(though I believe he didnt).. and whether my plan will work.. as in if given time for him to cool down will he come back?

(removed for safety)

Seek out a mental health professional.. or a councelor... seriously... you can't MAKE him do anything... and the more you post about this the worse you look.

Seriosuly... you sound clingy, needy and obsessive... NOBODY needs or wants this much drama in their lives.

He flat out tells you he doesn't want to be with you anymore...

He says, "Mashiat, why don't you understand that I don't want to with you anymore?"

those were his words and you posted them. How much more clear can he possibly be.
What you call positive vibes.....are nothing mor ethan desperatly grabbing at anything you can call a shred of hope.....I see a guy who is trying to not be rude to you.....

I've been through this before with a female that just could not take a hint, or ANY hints...or seen to be able to take no for an answer without my having to get nasty about it.

I see nothing more than a guy thats trying to distance himself from you.....and going out of his way to be as nice about it as he can....and you misunderstand being courteous as "positive vibes" when all he is trying to do is be respectful as he tries to walk away.

He might even want to remain friendly...but you are making that all but impossible.

talaniman · Mar 27, 2014, 06:37 AM

You have made him think (and everyone else for that matter) you are the famous ex psycho girl friend from hell, and that's plain scary. Leave him alone and do better like you promised but do it without him, for yourself.