[boredimso]

So I made the choice to move from Montana to California for my fiancé. He wanted a better paying job and to be closer to his family and we both wanted a better future together so the move seemed like a good idea. The only thing is that while we looked for a place to buy we got stuck living with his miserable sister. You see her parents bought her a house to get her away from her murderous boyfriend and she thanked them by living there for the past ten years rent free. On top of that they buy everything for her from her groceries to the tissue she wipes her with. So naturally she couldn't complain when my parents let us stay in the house. Greg did not want to live with her. He warned me about how awful she was but his parents offered us a free place to stay. They said it was only fair since she didn't pay rent either. So until we bought our own house, it seemed like the best way to save money. And I thought Greg might have been exaggerating-- I couldn't imagine anyone being that bad.

And so, we moved in with her the last week of August. At first she was very nice. I actually warmed up to her quickly-- I liked her sense of humor and I found qualities in her that reminded me of Greg so naturally, I grew to love her almost as my own sister. His parents are wonderful darlings. But then I began to notice the things Greg warned me about. I began to hear her yelling at their parents-- complaining about free gifts they got her and getting pissed off when they didn't get her gifts. She criticized them-- her parents and Greg--- no matter what they did it was wrong. She knew better. And if someone was happy about something, she made it a point to on the tent. Greg and I were hard pressed to find alone time together. We would make dinner plans together and instead of going to her parents' house to eat (she never cooks her own meal-- she does absolutely nothing all day and night), she would invite herself to have dinner with us. It never occurred to her that we might want to spend time alone sometimes. At first I felt bad for her because she doesn't have any friends besides her dog and I didn't want to make her feel that we didn't want her around us but after a few months it got annoying and Greg and I started fighting a lot. I began asking Greg to say something to her but he wanted to avoid her big mouth as much as possible so he would never approach her. She was always on his case about something. He would work all day and come home to her ing about him drinking "her" water bottle that their parents bought for her-- even though she eats the food he buys and cooks all the time. He never says anything to her and he keeps it all bottled up inside until he blows up at me. Their parents don't say anything to her either.

I began to question, are they afraid of her? Why does everyone tip toe around her? She's not a queen. She's just a b**** who does not even contribute anything to daily life. She makes her parents life miserable. She makes Greg miserable. But I will be darned if she makes me miserable. I don't play her game. Tonight Greg and I were finally enjoying an evening without her. We were watching a nice movie together and when she came home-- the first thing she does is look at our pet shampoo and flea drops I bought for our cats (our cats got fleas from her dog whom she refuses to treat for fleas because she thinks it's too harmful-- so now our 3 cats and I have to suffer horrible flea bites) and comments "you wasted your money this won't work". Unbelievable and yet predictable.

Who else would make a comment about something that isn't their business? It's my money, they're my cats, and I can do whatever the f*** I want without having to listen to your horrible comments. But still trying to be polite, I simply said--- "Don't worry about it." and hit the fan. She started screaming on and on about how she is sick of having to live with us and hear us fighting and how she is allowed to have an opinion and who am I to have a nasty attitude towards her when she is simply stating a fact that those flea drops don't work. Greg started yelling at her but I asked him to stop. I don't know how I managed to stay calm and not totally lose it but I did. She finally went into her room but rather than moving on from the situation, I sat there for an hour and I stewed.

I was on alert for her to come out of her room and start being a b**** again but I knew if she did I was going to really lay into her. She never came back out while I was there but just a few moments ago I heard her come outside and talk to Greg like everything is OK again. And he just lets her think it's OK instead of telling her to apologize or telling her how ridiculous she was being. It was all forgotten. And I got angry all over again. So here's my question--- for the sake of not upsetting Greg and his parents, do I be the bigger person and pretend like I don't hate her and be fake nice to her face and secretly loathe her or can I just make a point by ignoring her completely? We have a little more than a week left to live with her and I think I can avoid her mostly except for when we all have dinner with their parents. I don't want to be the cause of stress for this family or to "rock the boat", but really she is the cause of it all so shouldn't I hold out on the friendliness until she gives me some kind of an apology? She is my fiance's brother. She will always be in his life so I don't know if I can hate her without hurting him or his parents. But for my own sanity, I will not let her push me around. What is the best way to handle this situation? She is ten years older than me but she really acts like a child and I refuse to stoop to her level but I feel like someone really needs to tell her how it is.

[talaniman]

Your best solution is knowing this is temporary until you get your own place. I would make it sooner, rather than later, so you can get this witch out of your life.

She is what she is, and your not going to change that, but you can look forward to better things, and feel sorry her life may never be better. Ignore the idiot, but defend what's yours. Geez, its only for a week!

[Wondergirl]

You and I both know there is something amiss in her life. There is a huge emotional hole that is not getting filled. So, yes. Be the better person here. Do not fall down to her level of pettiness. She cannot make YOU be an angry person. That is something you choose to be. Don't be one. She is going to be in your life for a long time. If you can rise above it all now and not allow her to pull your chain, you will be much happier with yourself. After all, that's all that counts -- that you are happy with who you are.

[neverme]

This will be the hardest and closest you will ever be to this woman. She may be in your life forever but that will be at a distance, preferably a big one!

Be the bigger person for a week. You have done so well for so long, don't allow her to have the last word in argument you have won. She is obviously lacking in not only an emotional sense but a common curtesy sense. Know that, and do your best to ignore her without being impolite.

Soon you will be free of her, so try to support your fiancé as this is hard on him too and I'm guessing he's saying to himself that he knew this would happen but the light is at the end of the tunnel, so close! :)

[friend4u178]

Just be thankful that this will be all over in a week , that's a lot quicker fix than most problems we see on here.

[Gemini54]

What you're describing is behavior that's full of narcissism and entitlement.

You do not want to be locking horns with a person like this. She will never apologize because everything is everyone else's fault.

Smile, gird your loins and avoid confrontations. Do not buy into her $hit, because that's what it is.

Learn to set boundaries and to respond with disinterest to her demands and insults. You'll feel much better if you ignore her, because believe me, she will test you in the years to come!

[Jake2008]

She has lived in the house for 10 years, and suddenly she has 2 roomies. I wouldn't like it either.

Not making excuses for her behaviour, but the situation is what it is. It is not your place to confront her, or justify your anger at not having privacy in her home, or anything she says and does- in her own home.

That it was given to her, and regardless of who pays for it, or what kind of relationship she has with her parents or anybody else, or what mental health issues you think she has, is really none of your business. It is her home.

You cannot expect her to change to accommodate you, anymore than her parents could; she is who she is.

Bottom line is the free accommodation has come with a price that had you know of, you most likely wouldn't have taken. It was your decision to move in, and now that you know it wasn't the best move to make, you need to move. With only a week to go, after all that has happened, start packing and you'll feel better.

Just my opinion, but for future reference to keep the peace with her, you may wish to keep a respectful distance.