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newbegining · Sep 6, 2011, 07:30 PM

The ex is moving out of state and our 16 yr old is going to live me, she does not want to change custody and wants to "send" back my child support and pay me an amount of which we can agree upon.
Should I demand in custody?
If so could I win just because he wants to live here and not move across the country?

Fr_Chuck · Sep 6, 2011, 07:50 PM

At 16 most courts will listen seriously to what the child wants, unless there are other factors.

Legally yes you need to go to court and change custody, this needs to be done and can be done easily, you both agree to all the terms, have them written out and submitted. No need to his lawyer and her lawyer, if you both agree.

There is no reason for her to "send the support back" since legally you will still owe it unless you go to court. The issue I see, is that they had no issue with the court ordering you to pay, but they don't want to be treated the same way.

newbegining · Sep 6, 2011, 07:55 PM

"is that they had no issue with the court ordering you to pay, but they don't want to be treated the same way"
You are 100% correct!
I'm afraid that she is not willing to change custody even though she's moving in a month.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 6, 2011, 08:42 PM

Next of course she can't just move if your custody agreement does not allow her to without your approval or court approval.
Or you can even file a motion to stop her from moving, since it would hurt your visitation rights.

Next custody will not be changed in a month, if you went to an attorney yesterday.

You need an attorney, since actually the ball is in your court, she wants to move, you could actually stop her from moving or force her to give you custody if she moved.

Next what she pays in child support may be set also by state law, ** I assume like yours was** so her income will have a bearing on it.

It is time for you to head to the attorney if you want custody of your child and they want to stay with you.

newbegining · Sep 6, 2011, 09:13 PM

As of this moment, She is moving, My son is staying with me. She is all of a sudden nice as she is getting a huge raise and wants to keep it out of the courts.
Im just not sure how the law looks at her moving without my son, is she "giving" up custody? She has already talked to her lawyer which I believe is telling her it would be in her best interest to not go back to court.

ScottGem · Sep 7, 2011, 03:51 AM

Originally Posted by newbegining

Im just not sure how the law looks at her moving without my son, is she "giving" up custody?

Her lawyer is giving her good advice, but its not up to her. Assuming there is a court ordered visitation schedule that you would not be able to adhere to if she moves with your son, then she has NO chance in court. Coupled this with the fact that your son wants to stay with you, then she hasn't a leg to stand on.

The question is whether YOU want her to pay you support. If you don't, then it's a simple matter. You negotiate an agreement where she cedes primary custody to you and gives up support. In return you offer her visitation (at her expense). You then take this agreement to court and the judge will ratify with no questions asked. But if you want her to pay you support, it gets stickier as she may try to fight it. On what grounds I haven't a clue. But you NEED to get a court to modify custody and support.