[talaniman]

Hello my fellow Texan, Sorry for your pain, but you have been here long enough to know the drill, complete no contact. What she wants is no longer important, neither are her tears, and you are in the healing process. That's your focus for now, not seeing her to retrieve some furniture.

Be glad the roller coaster ride is over(?), and you can regroup without her.

In the long run you know that's best, so you can be prepared and have a cool head for what life throws at you next. Trust me, life will throw more at you.

I have followed this whole saga, and have confidence you'll do the right things for yourself.

Let her wonder where your at, and what your doing, not the other way around.

NO CONTACT, be busy and unavailable!!!

[snowalps]

Guys, I really appreciate the advise here in almost all threads on nc... actually what all of you have suggested is the right thing to do.. "no contact at all during nc and after it too.

Its easier said than done ofcourse; but I feel like appreciating each one of you who has still advised to be in control and strictly follow nc despite the trauma one has to face through this entire chapter in life.

Just feel like bagging hats off to all of you. :-)
Much appreciated!

[snowalps]

And has someone observed the uproar on the number of nc cases filling in threads specially in the last few weeks? Guess its nc season mates.. :(
Need to come out strong through the season.. good luck.

[jumpin0503]

and has someone observed the uproar on the number of nc cases filling in threads specially in the last few weeks?? guess its nc season mates .. :(
need to come out strong through the season..good luck.

Yeah seems like as soon as people got back to school everyone got dumped. :(

Getting by for now as well, day 4 of no contact, hopefully I stay busy this weekend and won't want to talk to her at any point, I came way too close to breaking the no contact rule yesterday.

Still extremely anxious about the situation, but I'm able to eat again so I know I'm slowly getting somewhere I feel, I keep asking myself "if she came back to me, would I still take her back" and I'm torn from the situation, but the answer would depend on the circumstances now and no longer an automatic yes. I hope I can get to the point where even if she did come back, I want to be able to tell her no truthfully because I do no longer want to be with her.

Keep on keeping on my friends, we're on our way I hope..

[Guidostern]

Yeah seems like as soon as people got back to school everyone got dumped. :(

Yeah, except I'm not a high school kid...

[snowalps]

Guess that was just a 'cliche :)

[jumpin0503]

Yeah, except I'm not a high school kid...

If you want to put it like that, I'm not either, I'm in college. =p

But if I had to take a bet I would guess that people leaving for school/finding new people as they get to schools would probably account for a good amount of the increase in breakups.

[Guidostern]

Sure, but this situation has nothing to do with that... she didn't leave me for someone else... she left me because she was unhappy... period...

[Fredj88]

Yeah seems like as soon as people got back to school everyone got dumped. :(

Getting by for now as well, day 4 of no contact, hopefully I stay busy this weekend and won't want to talk to her at any point, I came way too close to breaking the no contact rule yesterday.

Still extremely anxious about the situation, but I'm able to eat again so I know I'm slowly getting somewhere I feel, I keep asking myself "if she came back to me, would I still take her back" and I'm torn from the situation, but the answer would depend on the circumstances now and no longer an automatic yes. I hope I can get to the point where even if she did come back, I want to be able to tell her no truthfully because I do no longer want to be with her.

Keep on keeping on my friends, we're on our way I hope..

LOL your describing me, I'm on day four as well of nc each day seems a little easier. No way I'm even risking contact to feel horrible again. I'm getting my appetite back as well. But your ahead of me if she came back I'm still at automatic yes, prays for strength.

[Guidostern]

That's exactly how I feel, Fred. Sure, I'm only on day two, with one time actually talking to her, but I haven't seen her since Saturday night when she kissed me goodbye with tears in her eyes, holding on to me.

I feel like crap... seriously. I'm not hungry at all, I feel like crying, even though I don't, and I am lost without this girl in my life. This is number three as far as failed long term relationships go for me... which none of them I took this hard, not even losing my ex wife. At this point, I set here thinking, am I really supposed to find someone and be happy? Why couldn't it have been her, we're perfect together in every way, why take her away from me?

I have all but lost my faith. I hope and pray every day that she returns into my arms, but I don't know if that will ever happen. Tal is right though, part of me is relieved because we were putting each other through so much pain the last few months.

I've been trying to surround myself with people who will be a positive influence, but every some of my friends keep telling me "She'll come back, that's why she keeps calling you...you are the one constant in her life and you remind her that she is loved and cared for, like no one else ever could." I try not to listen to them, but it's so fresh that I can't help but have that hope sometimes.

I'm feeling really weak right now. She just got off work 40 minutes ago... I'm thinking about what she is doing, her Y! Messenger account says that she's mobile... so is she on a date, or is she out with friends? My mind is wondering, and I don't know that I'm strong enough to make it through this anymore... it's like my legs have been cut off...

[jumpin0503]

Don't give up. You can make progress, but I definitely found that looking at her Y! Messenger status/facebook status/anything associated with her doesn't help, I'm curious as well at times with my situation, but it's all a process, you just have to commit to your decision to even begin moving on it seems in my opinion. I've noticed that now that I have committed to it, it seems to be becoming easier day by day.

[Guidostern]

I'm trying very hard not to give up. I'm going out with an old friend tonight that has always sent me in the right path. He's been there from the time my father passed, to this.

I know that I've already lost her, but I SO wish I wouldn't have. It seems to be harder every day... it took me a week or two to get over my ex-wife... but I was the one who did the breaking that time... this is just so hard because I care about this girl more than she'll ever know... she told one of our mutual friends last night "I really hope he can fix himself, not only for my sake, but his." Now, this friend is someone I haven't talked to in almost a year, and she knows this... it's someone that I don't exactly get along with anymore either... so I keep thinking that she wouldn't say that if she didn't mean it... especially to this person. I'm short of breath right now, but almost numb... this sucks really bad... I never knew I would go through this with her. It was pretty rocky for a while, but hey; what relationship doesn't go through some tough times?

I just wish that she could see the changes I've made in the last five days... I hate this so bad...

[hjpan]

I'm trying very hard not to give up. I'm going out with an old friend tonight that has always sent me in the right path. He's been there from the time my father passed, to this.

I know that I've already lost her, but I SO wish I wouldn't have. It seems to be harder every day...it took me a week or two to get over my ex-wife...but I was the one who did the breaking that time...this is just so hard because I care about this girl more than she'll ever know...she told one of our mutual friends last night "I really hope he can fix himself, not only for my sake, but his." Now, this friend is someone I haven't talked to in almost a year, and she knows this...it's someone that I don't exactly get along with anymore either...so I keep thinking that she wouldn't say that if she didn't mean it...especially to this person. I'm short of breath right now, but almost numb...this sucks really bad...I never knew I would go through this with her. It was pretty rocky for a while, but hey; what relationship doesn't go through some tough times?

I just wish that she could see the changes I've made in the last five days...I hate this so bad...

Do what I do.

Try to forget the ex. Talk to friends who DON'T know your ex.
Work harder and focus on yourself.

For me, I'm younger than you (I'm 19) and got out of a 15 month relationship with a girl who is now a 8itch and "burns" her parents money by hanging out with new friends... as well as partying and looking for a new guy.

On my side, I'm focusing myself on pursuing a nursing degree (it's actually 4 degrees combined) and return to university to get my degree in psychology. While I'm going for my nursing degree, I am working part-time where I've earned a lot of reputation around... probably cause I'm a new guy and really chill :)

Just take time to yourself.

Oh yes.... for showing that you've changed...
Hmm~ Just master yourself, your emotions, attitude etc. and attract other people.
And when the day comes where you see your ex once again, you'll know that you are better off without her.

[cantbelieveit]

NC is super hard when you're weak for the person. We just have to try and be strong for ourself.

[Guidostern]

Well am I ever weak...

Last night I go out with some friends... they get me hammered... drank at least a 1/4 of a gallon of Jäger and about a 6 pack. Well, I don't remember much at all. I don't even remember how I got back to my brothers.

Well, I check my phone for messages/missed calls... well, I kind of drunk dialed her probably 10-15 times last night. I know she never answered, even though I don't remember any of it.

So, yeah... I'm weak for her and while she misses me, my smile, my touch... she's out with other guys going on with her life while I set here hurting, praying for God or whatever there is out there to return her to me. So yeah, I'm weak and it didn't work out the way I planned... so now I have to start over AGAIN!

[talaniman]

Hmm, you don't remember much, but you remembered her number.

[Guidostern]

It has been programmed into my phone since the moment we met.

I don't know that I can do this... I have to do everything in my power for her to return into my arms. I shouldn't have called her, and no I don't remember doing it. I don't know how to move on without her. She's the love of my life. She's been my dream come true.

[talaniman]

Unprogram her, and get some sleep, and start over.

[Guidostern]

Well, of course... I started over... it's hard, but I know I can do this... It just takes the determination that I seem to have now... So, now to picking myself up off the floor and dusting myself off... I got to worry about me now, she no longer matters at all... even though it hurts, I got to do this.

[wikedjuggalo]

Well, of course...I started over...it's hard, but I know I can do this...It just takes the determination that I seem to have now...So, now to picking myself up off the floor and dusting myself off...I gotta worry about me now, she no longer matters at all...even though it hurts, I gotta do this.

Exactly. All about picking yourself up. You will be better and stronger after this. Keep pushing onwards.