[Sunbee5]

I have recently started dating this nice man and up till a few days ago I thought he was perfect. Then one afternoon he sat me down and told me how he enjoys masterbating in front of other men on webcam on the internet. He assures me he is not gay and that he is trying to stop the habit but I just can't help being a little... shocked. What is everyone else's opinion on such practices? Thank you.

[Fr_Chuck]

If he wants to stop, he could, and there is a problem, if he really wants to stop, get rid of the web cam, get professional counseling.

[victoria_mitchell]

My opinion... Honestly... If my boyfriend told me that I would FREAK OUT! That's just weird! I mean he says he's not gay but what straight guy do you know likes to masterbate in front of other guys? I personally don't know one, and I know some crazy, sexual, weird guys. Plus I look at it this way, would you want him to do this if you two became serious? Some gay guy is at his house getting off to your bf/fiance/husband or whatever; I sure as Hell wouldn't! This type of behavior could be a sign of other things... Porn addiction, Cyber sex etc. etc...

[nicespringgirl]

Honestly, NC!! I won't even want to think about, that is way too crazy! NC any more!
Heh, see I am using the new word I just learned!:D

[Skell]

Run away. Fastly. And as far as you can.

He sounds perverted to me and I wouldn't be giving him the pleasure of my time. Not one more minute. There are plenty more men out there. Most of them don't enjoy masturbating in front of other men either.

[ForeverZero]

Yea, he's not gay.
Smokers can quit anytime they want.
Alcoholics don't have a problem, they just like the taste of beer.
Heroin addicts aren't hooked, they just like the way it makes them feel.

[Sunbee5]

Thank you for your comments everyone. I would normally turn away myself as soon as someone said this but he is REALLY sweet and treats me well- I can't find any other fault in him. I guess I wanted to know whether people found this sort of behaviour normal to a man. I mean he has told me that he doesn't find men attractive and that it is more of a loneliness thing. All the more reason to give it up now he's with me. But Im just worried he may start again, or he's in denial about his sexuality. I tried bringing it up again recently but he doesn't want to talk about it... so confusing...

[Skrypt]

No he has to talk about it. This is very serious and if you guys are going to be in a loving relationship he has to be mature and strong enough to deal with this. Communication is key.

[UnwantedHero]

Honestly you should be glad that he at least sat you down and told you about the problem,instead of you finding out at the last minute by accident.If you really are offended by it then move on get rid of him,but if its been a while and you guys are thinking about getting serious then tell him how you feel,get rid of web cam and maybe see someone about it if he does it fairly often.

[s_cianci]

Sounds pretty weird to me! I'd be very careful of this one!

[bushg]

If he is not into to men, why wasn't he masturbating in front of the webcam for some women? Ask him that.

[talaniman]

I don't care how nice he is, he is a little over the top, and he may be normal for a while, while winng you over, but he will go back to what he likes to do, so don't be shocked when he does, and be careful giving your heart to this freak, as you really don't know him THAT kind of good. Be careful and don't be niave when it comes to weird behavior.

[rol]

Yeah he has definitely some addiction problems and needs help.

[iAMfromHuntersBar]

I think he's been incredibly brave telling you this. It obviously shows how much he trusts you and values your thoughts on the subject. You, of course, have every right to be shocked.

If he says he is trying to stop, then he has identified to himself that it is not normal behaviour for a person in a relationship (if he wasn't, I don't see any problem with him cracking one out to whatever he wants!).

You need to let him know that you understand that this was in the past, but he must stop doing it now if he wants to continue being with you.

Just out of curiosity, how did you react and what did you say when he told you?

[logan007]

A man that likes to bash off, in front of other men, that sounds pretty gay to me, I think you need to move on, I know its hard finding a good man but you need to leave this one alone he's got issues

[templelane]

Perhaps he is bi or extremely voyeuristic? If he treats you will respect, is nice to you and communicates with you (by telling you this) then I really don't see the problem. If this really is the only 'thing' I wouldn't worry. Personally I wouldn't be bothered by it - I can think of a hundred worse things he could be looking at/doing. As long as he never tries to get you to do something you are not comfortable with/ or puts you at risk in any way I don't think there is a problem.

Seem to be a bit alone with this opinion after reading the other posts…They weren't the answers I was expecting after reading the question.

[BBKittyKat]

Comment on nicespringgirl's post

Cute. Good job! I just picked it up too ><

Comment on Sunbee5's post

I guess no one is perfect? You can only do what's within your power. If u love this guy, trust him. If u start questioning him and doubting him, he may well turn to his vices to escape from u. At the moment, try to be more of a comrade, just be there to give him a listening ear rather than trying to 'fix' his problem. When he is comfortable enough, he will open up more. After understand the root of the problem then you may proceed to see a counsellor or a doctor to seek for advice. The fact that he has admitted his 'problem' to you shows how much he loves u. No one would openly admit their weird fetish only to be judged and to lose the one he loves. Good luck!

Comment on Sunbee5's post

I just realized this post was years ago. Sunbee5 I hope you have resolved your problem with the guy and are living in bliss now :)