Hi Guys I have seen so many great posts in here that I thought this was the correct place to ask my question due to family strains my husband doesn't feel he can asks these questions and I don't know the answers so I thought if anyone can help it would be appreciated. His mother who suffers from parkinsons with dimensia has recently had a dnr order put on her we have been told that she has the early stages of kidney and liver failure. Due to the parkisons she is being feed by tube. From what I understand no medications are going to be changed. To me this kind of sounds like they are going to let thing go the course but what exactly does this entail. My next question does sound awful she is in early stages how long does it take to get to end stages is she going to go through months of pain (no one wants that for anyone no matter how strained things are) There is another estranged sister involved as well and I would love for her to see her mum one more time (last time she saw her mum was 8 years ago at my wedding, previous to that 20 year) I believe that there needs to be closure for all involved and would hate to think that the family left it too late any guide to time line would be appreciated so I can kick all people into gear Audrey

No one puts a DNR order on a person unless it is done by a family member; so was probably done by your husband as suggested by his mom's physician.

You do realize that liver and kidneys are the two main functions of the body, notwithstanding the heart, which is over ruled in this instance because both liver and kidney failure take a toll on that organ, much so.

No one, absolutely no one can determine how much longer a person has to carry on, but seeing as your mother in law has damage to both those organs, then subacute stage is l2 weeks for either one. This is the longest time you can expect.

Your husband has to address these issues with his mom's doctor and face up to the responsibility, as wel all do, with this end of life issue.

The DNR is in place because of the circumstances, no one can carry on without a liver or a kidney, audrey; heart will go soon after, within in minutes from the stress of losing two major organs.

My patiience at this time is with you both, what it entails is, you both pray she will go quietly in sleep without pain.

I would suggest you call the sister and tell her to come.

We cannot diagnose here on AMHD, but owing to your plea I have wanted to tell you just exactly what to expect in this instance. Please have your husband step up and do his duty, be with his mom and give her support in this time.

God bless you all

Tick

At any point if there is pain. Then the question will be what kind of medication to use to relieve that pain. No one can predict how long it can be or how much time it will take. Some people fight and fight and stay around and others go very quickly. It also depends on what is the issue and what medications are being given. I know it is a very tough subject to approach especially with other family members. It would be nice for everyone to get together and be able to make their peace and say their good byes before it is too late but sometimes that is hard to do for some. Death is not easy for anybody. Just make sure that the patient has pain control of some sort and hope and pray for a peaceful passing. There are many signs and things that can be expected near the end of death. That might seem hard to deal with but its part of the process.

Please just encourage family to be with her and know that it is not your responsibility to get everybody together. It is up to each individual whether they will be present or not. You can however encourage your husband to be there every step of the way.

Hope that the family can come together and be there for her in this time of transition.

Joe