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Well, it's been about two weeks... overall, things are OK. She has applied for the LPN program at a local community college because it only takes three semesters and pays about 80% of the wages of a...

The wife and kids come home this weekend. She's going to start an LPN program (nursing) that will only take three semesters and starting pay is $12 locally just out of college... for this area that...

The advice I'm reading is that I should quit my job and move without any means to support a family just because she decided to up and leave and pull our children out of school. I'm not leaving the...

Here is the post I found offensive.

"I'll bet, just from what you've written on this post, you a lousy listener, ( if you listened) and treated your wife and family like objects, that you tried to...

I don't want my family to live in poverty, and I personally don't like "drama." Yes, I do like security because through my experiences I've learned just how fast and hard life can hit you and ruin...

And what kind of compromise would you suggest? At this point, the financial damage has been done; she'll have to work until at least August because we're now VERY far behind and it will take months...

No, I'm busy trying to be RESPONSIBLE and keep the lights on, the water running, and food on the table.

Being called a lousy listener is one thing. You went beyond that and essentially accused me of being a p**ck; that was not in any way professional or helpful.

I'm not controlling her every action! All I want is a little logic, stability, and sanity! Yes, I am her partner, and as such she shouldn't be doing things that are so destructive (like ruin our...

I did fight for them. I told my wife that the children needed to be back in school in our home town by the time it resumed on January 5th, to which she replied that she would do everything in her...

It wasn't a liberal arts degree; an undergraduate in psychology & history, and a master's degree in counseling. I've also spent several years working as an alcohol & drug abuse counselor. I did...

Then they can leave, and you can certainly ignore me. Obviously I came here for help or I wouldn't have posted the question here, but I'm OK with being ignored. I think this thread is finished. ...

Maybe so, but surely you wouldn't force your husband to do so... especially on a whim? What if you told him you're leaving your job to join a cult and take over the world... would he do that without...

She IS coming home. Her mother and step-father are kicking her out because the responsibility of her and the children is simply too much for them, and they don't think her reasons for leaving and...

Just to be clear; I worked at several dead-end, minimum wage jobs so I could go to school. Until the last year of grad school she stayed at home with the children... which of course I realize is a...

But that's just it; you don't have to choose. Heck, I could cut out my heart and give it to her on a plate to prove my love for her, but that's darn foolish too... I'd only love her for a few...

Actually, I have to say there IS a connection. I can't get "in the mood" when the laundry is overflowing and everything is messy. That's VERY true of me. All of that has to be in order first or I...

I am; that's why I also reassured her that if she came home we'd get a smaller, cheaper, and more efficient house so she can go to nursing school and not have to work. That IS putting her before...

Would you move here and work at the local Taco Bell? Would you? I doubt it.

I'm not the one who destroyed our family and finances without so much as sitting down and talking to their spouse about it. I'm not the one who ruined Christmas for their children by leaving their...

I'm really not trying to be defensive or have a poor attitude, but I don't think you truly understand how miserable and poverty-stricken this area of the country is. Would you quit your job and work...

"Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you an option in theirs."

THIS is what I'm doing by looking into moving and completing my education. I'm not going to be...

She's the one who left. Why should I move and leave my job? It might not pay much, but it's all I have and quite a few people are unemployed or working in fast-food right now. I'm not going to...

You know, earlier I took the observations into consideration and tried to use them appropriately. Now you're just being insulting and essentially demanding I live in poverty and like it. My wife...

Wow, apparently we're looking at these statements through very different lenses. On the chores, I HAD BEEN doing those (almost like you don't believe me?). I was talking about the past on the dishes,...

I'm glad you can sympathize and have been in a similar situation, that does help. They already miss their Daddy dreadfully, and according to my wife, our son has expressed anger and resentment...

Also, just to clarify...

Ph.D. applicants typically apply about a year before they matriculate to the school and actually begin classes... as it is, I'm really pushing the deadline for fall 2009...

That sounds nice, but have you seen the job market and tried to find one lately? While my salary still qualifies my family of 5 for food stamps (by itself... with no one else working), it's the...

Ok, the weekend has come and gone. Some good things transpired, and some not so good. For starters, we slept together, but didn't [I]sleep[I]together; it was so nice just having her next to me and...

And I literally, "have the drive" because she lives 4 hours away and I have to pick her up, drop off the kids, come back here, and then take her back on Sunday while then driving back here... plenty...

That's one thing I've definitely learned in life; you can be right, or you can (in my case, have my family) be loved.

I don't have to be right; there's no prize for being so...

Right, that's why I wrote this:

"We discussed how much we used to enjoy talking to each other about various issues (politics, social issues, science, ect; we used to watch The Universe on the...

Understood. She called this morning at about 7:30 a.m. to make sure we're still on for this weekend. It is superbowl weekend, which is important to her... she loves football; I couldn't care less...

Um, I think I did.

I hear you (or, I read you... ;)). Right, it's the closeness as well... there's no arguing it: life is tough, and the world is a fairly cold place. Romantic intimacy is one of the few things that...

I'll rephrase that. When I say "over the edge" I mean moving the children to another school (especially our child with autism; he really doesn't tolerate change well and we usually take great pains...

Understood, but also know that I asked what her intentions were last night because I don't feel like misunderstanding or misconstruing her comments. She did reveal that a major source of resentment...

Woah, I didn't say it was the key to the rest of my life; I'm no psychic. Read it again please. Also, that's why I spoke with her at length last night; I wanted to make it perfectly clear that I...

Thanks for the feedback; last night I mainly listened to her for a while and wanted to make completely sure that I wasn't taking her emails out of context or misinterpreting them. Yes, she does...

I spoke with my wife and children last night for over an hour. At first it was business and the children (their power has been out for 3 days due to an ice storm and it won't be reconnected for...

I don't consider divorce a viable option. As long as my wife signals that she might be willing to talk and/or work this out, I'm going to be there for her and try to stay married. I haven't heard...

Yes, of course I'm their father but I have to disagree that the relationship doesn't change with your children... when you're not living with them everyday, it DOES change, and not for the better. ...

Quick excerpt from a book review about relationships and parenting.

"While we may reach this conclusion from very different perspectives at times, what we both agree on is that sex matters... a...

I can be, and I will be.

Here's the last email she sent... along with what I sent to get that response. Sounds to me like she's saying it was a desperate response but that "that's all it was." She wants to discuss why she...

I haven't been up to see my kids due to financial reasons. The money simply has not been there. Yes, I'm wanting to spend time with her because that was part of the problem. She didn't feel like...

Thanks; she says there's no one else, and other than my earlier reason for wondering I had no reason to believe it was happening. I just look forward to having her with me, even if it's for lunch,...

True, but I often think of what my pastor said years ago. If you REALLY want to take care of your children, love their mother and treat her well. In our post-1970's (divorce spiked during that time)...

Thank you, and no I don't plan on gloating... there's nothing to gloat about; this entire situation is a tragedy in my view. I'm just hoping she'll see that if freedom and career success is what she...

Good advice; it'd be real easy for me to do what you said (start talking about how I'll make everything better... I need to be quiet and listen to her). I'll let everyone know how it goes, and if I...