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Well, I'll update again.. lol..

So since I last was on I quit my old job and have been working construction since.. Finally on my way to stabilization.. It's OK.. Definitely not a career, but it...

So, this update comes with good and bad news, but more importantly how I've learned that I wish to embrace both the good and bad things and continue living my life for the times to come and not for...

Sounds like a plan, my man..

I'll try to sleep a whole night tonight.. Do a little working out before work.. Take a walk or go fishing..

What's aspirin the for? Lol

Pfft @ over eat.. I'm...

Lol Thanks, Tal..

What do you mean @ too soon? Good to hear someone agree that she's interested.. Just need to remember to be myself and not let my own thoughts bug me..

Yeah I definitely...

I'm not sure why all the sudden I've ended my ability or want to make friends..

Good point, though. I guess it's me pressuring everything to be something serious or meaningful, but why?

I miss...

Thanks y'all..

I've sat here and done a lot of thinking.. Son's with his mother right now so it's really empty and quiet..

I think I have issues..

This alone feeling has consumed me.. and...

Thanks for the training tip! I'll give those a shot..

in a few days lol..

O-M-G.

I did a full lower-body work out yesterday.. I also got a knock on my door randomly stating I had an hour...

Thanks!

I'm actually doing better then fine! I'm doing F'ING fantastic..

I had a wild wild wild night last night.

I got a knock on my door at random- it was my buddy. He told me I have an...

OH I see now! So it's not just doing a one rep of yer max but following it up with a full workout still.. I see now lol.. Makes more sense. I think I was a brick in another life.

I've never used...

Hey, thanks for the advice, Tal.. You've been MIA for a bit here : p lol.. Understandable though lol..

I've tried to call the certification boards, but no answer and I even left a voicemail. I'll...

Yeah I feel it too @ bent rows.. I've always made them a part of my routine.. They work so many body parts..

I like targeting, but also do exercises that work everything as well.. Kind of a...

Lol A novel, eh? What kind? Yer first one or do you write regularly? Sorry @ billions of questions- just interested..

So no matter how much I work out I can't hide it eh? Lol @ bones.. Working on...

Wow.. lol.. How often do you work out? I bet you could beat me up at this point.. lol.. : /

The only problem I have with working so many this is that I work a labor type job.. It's bad enough...

So..
I think I loved the ex, but I wasn't really in-love with her.. She's a great girl usually, however, we just didn't click all the time. We got comfortable and we both just sat there and did...

Original seems like a pretty killer dude..

I know he'll find someone WAY better..

Don't even worry, bruh..

Just get out there and talk and flirt with them.. You'll come across that one...

No, I know first hand that they will not. Even for a felony charge.

I moved from KS to FL with a charge pending and found a job and nothing ever popped up on my background. Then I went back and...

I agree with JudyKayTee..

I was on probation(with two probation officers in two states) and got arrested on accident and both of my P.O.'s found out an hour after the fact.

You're in the...

Starting to think I have a fear of being alone.

Also thinking this has left me feeling pretty insecure.

Beginning to wonder if her and I were right.. I've noticed how I talk to other women and...

That "soo happyyy" bs is very much a front, but I know it still stings a bit.. Women can be pretty damn cold..

Glad to see you sticking to NC though, dude! You have the space now to run with it...

Do what you feel is right, man. Don't lie to yourself about what you want to do. This isn't a life or death thing seeing she lived and will live, but it's a big event in someone's life who you care...

Vent... again...

Man, learning to cope with not having an ex sucks.. lol.. but knowing you have to cope with seeing them every three weeks and talk to them on the phone every few days.. that's...

Yeah.. rather then dumping water intake I'm actually going to up it.. I've been reading a 8oz glass of water per 9-12lbs of weight per day. Not sure I'll go that far, but I'll definitely up it.
...

Yeah, that was my goodbye man.. I can't destroy myself over what she does any longer.. I'm getting happier every day.. I'm not going to be dragged back to hell..

I feel you man.. I may do the...

Thanks for the idea! I have totally forgot about Omega 3's.. I used to do lots of saltwater fishing and never had to worry about taking supplements, but now that I'm not able to fish often anymore I...

It hurts.. and I had to break NC today technically to tell her to call her son and to pick a date to come down and actually stick to it. Ridiculous. Lol.. But, I did type a message on the bottom...

lol.. I'm not sure I have a butt..

I don't do fake tans nor do I shave anything out of the ordinary lol..

I don't have any objective friends around here.. but I did talk to my friend who...

Man, I wish I found this guide before I spent a month of my life begging her back and trying to fix things other then my own issues only for her to continue confusing me and hurting me.

Good work,...

Thank bruh! I really do feel a little better without talking to her and just enjoying my life. I still fret about her coming down and stuff, but I hardly think of this stuff throughout the day.

I...

Man.. I just got home.. Very! Happy!

I've hit on so many hot chicks and it was so mutual with all of them.. and they all loved my son.. AWESOME.

I believe my ex and I would be great if she...

Sorry meant almost 7 weeks..

Yeah I want to get to working out, but I'm strapped for cash. I need to at least gain 10lbs of the 20 I lost back by the end of the week. I've been slowly eating...

Almost 6 weeks.. so working on 2 months now..

I'm doing the best to get myself under control. I do see that I'm the problem. I don't know how to calm my a$$ down, man. I would have done it a long time ago had I been given the ability to just...

Well, it is about her, but you're right about it mostly being about me. I miss the all the little things about her and the laughs and goofyness we shared and how we would do small things to show how...

Some reason still.. late at night.. when there's nothing to do.. and the house is empty.. I get to thinking of her.

I'd like to think I'm still making progress. Is it wrong of me to think of her?

I see what you both are saying.. and well I've been living and working towards the things I've wanted for a while for once. I've finally stopped sidelining myself. I never cared much for myself and...

VENTING.. Sorry..

Breaking down while I write this.. for many reasons..

I understand her needing to grow up, but now she's claiming we never existed as a happy loving couple even though just...

Yeah.. Well.. F*** it..

Just done chatting with her.. she's in denial and living in a fake reality and it's really really pissing me off.. She said yesterday she would try to work things out if I...

Trying not to be angry, just sick of all this BS. I didn't do anything that's unforgivable. I'm just not sure what to think anymore. I'm not totally happy, so I'm not going to fake it.

After the...

Nah, I just didn't want there to be any false reasons to not try.. and specially something that slandered me like that. I've never cheated in my life.. It's just not in me. I will refuse to let some...

Told her what I had to say.. and cleared my name.

Really not expecting anything of it.. I'm going to get on with my life for my son, but I'll probably fight for her for a while more.

I'm in a...

On lunch break.

Kind of going dumb. I've been thinking about her today. Also about how she said her step dad told her I was feeling up girls when I was with her (TOTAL LIE). I'm going to ask her...

All but the math I can ace. I test well.. college scores out of the 8th grade.

I've come to see what you mean! I'm finally on the downward part of the hill.

I've lost respect and feelings for...

I'll do my best to kick my own a$$ time to time and put myself back in check.

Trying to get her out of my head is an entirely different thing. I can barely get through a song/show without her...

Working on finding a career. I have been looking this whole time just not really hard core. I don't know what I want to do with my life.

She's hell bent on dating because apparently if "he makes...

You're right, Tal.. I was stuck in the moment, and I still stand by it being stupid not taking the opportunity.

I know the communications aren't open because she's brick walling me when I try to...

No.. I ran into her at a place we both used to go.. I didn't even see her until she spoke my username and I seen it was her.. She did most the talking.. I just finally got a chance to hear what the...

Update:

Broke NC, but not in the way you think.. Read on..

Got into her head a little. She's really unsure about anything and just needs space. I ran into her in an old chat we used to goof...

Lol @ committed.. if only that were true.. maybe she'd of stayed..

Lol @ the weather.. sorry to hear that : p

Lol.. don't feel like a perv.. I asked and you've been extremely helpful.. I thank...

I spend a lot of my time in general reading about exercises, dieting and nutrition, weight lifting, etc.. Men's Health Magazine and Book reader.. avid! GNC member.. I just like it.. I duno..

I...

I know I can't BE him.. It's just a goal sort of thing.. I'll have to customize my workout and eating habits based on how they effect me..

I'm cutting cardio out completely I think.. Unless I can...