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  1. I am really sorry to hear about your loss. Time...

    I am really sorry to hear about your loss. Time will heal everything. You will most definitely be able to both love again and move in a normal way. But very importantly you firstly need to take the...
  2. Answers
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    920

    If you really love your boyfriend and want to...

    If you really love your boyfriend and want to avoid getting into adventures I would advise you don't tell him anything. Are you sure you only want to tell him to get the weight off your shoulders? Is...
  3. Question: Feeling Down

    by busterite
    Answers
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    282

    Feeling Down

    So it has been a pretty long time since I last posted on this forum. I am going through a little bit of a rough patch lately and just wanted some words of encouragement.

    For the past 8 months I...
  4. Answers
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    9,629

    You are beginning to realise and accept that it...

    You are beginning to realise and accept that it is over. That underlying hope of getting back together is getting crushed as time goes by and that's why you feel the pain. The fear that she might...
  5. Answers
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    832

    The same way there was life before the ex there...

    The same way there was life before the ex there is life after the ex as well. At the end its up to you and what you make of the time after the ex. The key thing is not to give up and just be open to...
  6. Answers
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    32,081

    I wouldn't think of these as fears. It is normal...

    I wouldn't think of these as fears. It is normal to feel like this. You had painted a picture of your future that you were content with and a big part of that picture has been taken away from you....
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    3,208

    Don't let anything worry you, it sounds like you...

    Don't let anything worry you, it sounds like you have the right mindset and are on the right track. Just keep doing what you have been doing the past 9 months and let time take care of things. The...
  8. You need to accept things for what they are....

    You need to accept things for what they are. Things would have ended the same way even if you had left a good impression. If you hadn't struggled to try and get her back you would be asking yourself...
  9. Answers
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    2,665

    It is normal to feel this way under these...

    It is normal to feel this way under these circumstances. With time the feeling of betrayal will fade and you will be able to see things for what they really are. As for the alone part you need to...
  10. Will you ever be able to trust her again? Do you...

    Will you ever be able to trust her again? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering whether she will run away from you again? Will you be able to forget all you have bee through and...
  11. Answers
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    5,077

    Your anger is holding you back and isn't allowing...

    Your anger is holding you back and isn't allowing you to heal. You need to accept the loss for what it is and just let the past be the past. Fill your life up with new experiences. The longer you...
  12. Answers
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    4,663

    Believe nothing good will come out if you talk to...

    Believe nothing good will come out if you talk to her. You are still holidng on to that last bit of false hope and the only reason you want to talk to her is because you still think there is a chance...
  13. Answers
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    2,938

    Keep on moving ahead and keep doing what you have...

    Keep on moving ahead and keep doing what you have been doing so far and stay NC. Seeing her will only make things worse for you and take you back to square one, hurt and confused. With time things...
  14. Answers
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    You don't have to delete her number as long as...

    You don't have to delete her number as long as you are sure you won't break and contact her. It will be long before you have accepted it but you need to be patient. Hold on in there, and come here to...
  15. Answers
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    9,000

    Starting NC and actually maintaining it is the...

    Starting NC and actually maintaining it is the first step in accepting the situation for what it is. Its best if you don't know what she is doing or who she is seeing. Ignorance is bliss in these...
  16. Answers
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    I understand that you really love this girl but...

    I understand that you really love this girl but at this point in time you need to think of your own well being here. What we are all trying to do is help you prepare for the worst case scenario and...
  17. Answers
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    For your own good you need to go strictly NC with...

    For your own good you need to go strictly NC with her without placing any time limits and without using NC as a strategy to get her back.



    None of us thought they would ever cheat, if we did...
  18. Answers
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    2,938

    You are definitely on the right path, all you...

    You are definitely on the right path, all you need now is more time doing everything you've been doing since the break up. After a week and a half I still wasn't able to sleep properly or eat a whole...
  19. Answers
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    You really need to find a different support...

    You really need to find a different support system to take you through all you are going through at the moment. I understand you are going through a tough situation and I am really sorry to hear...
  20. I don't work in a counselling office. When I...

    I don't work in a counselling office. When I mentioned about people willing to help I was thinking more along the lines of people like myself that have gone through a similar sort of thing not long...
  21. Answers
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    1,302

    Hi, I went through a similar situation about 8...

    Hi, I went through a similar situation about 8 months ago. I had a number of threads and got great advice from people here if you feel like reading them.

    One thing that I can tell you for certain...
  22. How long have you been feeling like this? It...

    How long have you been feeling like this?
    It took me more than a month to start eating normally again and even more than that to get a whole nights sleep without waking up every half an hour. It...
  23. Answers
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    You hold the power to get off this emotional...

    You hold the power to get off this emotional rollercoaster you are on. You will only manage that if you completely erase her from your life. Everyone has been telling you but I feel the need to...
  24. Answers
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    The reason you feel like a jerk is because you...

    The reason you feel like a jerk is because you are a nice guy and somehow you feel that you are hurting her by not answering. The truth of the matter is that this is the best way of protecting...
  25. Do not beat yourself too hard. I understand your...

    Do not beat yourself too hard. I understand your pain but by taking the right steps now time will help you heal.

    Do not put all the blame on yourself because it takes 2 people for a relationship...
  26. Answers
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    2,178

    Have you talked about this with your boyfriend?...

    Have you talked about this with your boyfriend? Proper communication is the key to any successful relationship so it might be worth getting his perspective on all this.
  27. Question: Ex Conflict

    by busterite
    Answers
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    2,517

    This is what you need to keep reminding yourself...

    This is what you need to keep reminding yourself because nothing will change overnight. Just take things one at a time. Don't try to solve all your issues at the same time.

    I understand that you...
  28. Question: Ex Conflict

    by busterite
    Answers
    28
    Views
    2,517

    This is just a reaction to what you have found...

    This is just a reaction to what you have found out. The truth is that you've been beaten down by this but bringing, the person that has caused this, down with you is not a solution and will not make...
  29. Answers
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    I understand what you are going through man. We...

    I understand what you are going through man. We grew up in the same social circle and now I find myself excluded from parties organised by people that Ive known more than 10 years. Its ed up and it...
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    You should be glad she hasn't contacted you and...

    You should be glad she hasn't contacted you and hope that she doesn't for a very long time. You are going to have bad and good days. At first the bad outweigh the good but as time passes by and the...
  31. Answers
    195
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    11,904

    If you don't go NC and cut her completely out of...

    If you don't go NC and cut her completely out of your life don't expect a change in her attitude or the pain you feel. This is not a game, its your own good that's at stake here. Don't let her drag...
  32. Answers
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    If I were you I would go NC straight away. Don't...

    If I were you I would go NC straight away. Don't bother explaining yourself, she won't listen anyway. You know why? Because she is only thinking of herself. The reason she is contacting you is a way...
  33. Answers
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    You don't owe her any explanation. She will...

    You don't owe her any explanation. She will figure it out. Don't get caught in such thoughts. The moment you contact her to tell her about NC it will be like starting from ground zero again. What...
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    You know you are healed when you don't have to...

    You know you are healed when you don't have to worry about being healed. When you won't care whether she calls or not. When you can go a whole day without thinking of her. And you will get to the...
  35. Well the thing is that the harder and the more...

    Well the thing is that the harder and the more times you hit your head against a brick wall the faster it will break. I am not saying that is the case for every situation but I think that each one of...
  36. Answers
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    Ignorance is bliss and that is something you've...

    Ignorance is bliss and that is something you've had to realise the hard way. Don't worry though, we've all had to go through it and it is hard especially with someone you've been together for so long...
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    I agree with KC here that you are never alone...

    I agree with KC here that you are never alone (sorry KC but apparently I have to spread the reputation so I can't rate your answer).

    As you said there are people that care for you but what you are...
  38. Answers
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    There are no exceptions to NC and it will only...

    There are no exceptions to NC and it will only work if you cut off any line of communication.
    You should not care what her reaction is. You are doing this for your own good and its time to take...
  39. Answers
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    Just take this one day at a time. Slowly the days...

    Just take this one day at a time. Slowly the days will turn into weeks and the weeks into months and you will gradually start to feel the difference. I would suggest you block her or make it so that...
  40. Answers
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    It might be awful and painful now but it will pay...

    It might be awful and painful now but it will pay off in the long run believe me. I have pretty much gone NC for 5mths now, she managed to find ways to contact me (by waiting outside my house and...
  41. Answers
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    1,868

    You just need to see all the good things in your...

    You just need to see all the good things in your life. Or focus your efforts in changing things in your life that will bring you happiness. I went through a tough break up about 5 months ago and one...
  42. The only piece of advice I can give you is the...

    The only piece of advice I can give you is the same as what I advised you earlier which is to just walk away. You gave in a moment of weakness, thought you could change things but nothing came out of...
  43. Answers
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    It makes perfect sense. I was the same. And I...

    It makes perfect sense. I was the same. And I understand that you feel you have lost that driving force (at least that's how I felt) but with time that habit will fade away and you will bridge the...
  44. Answers
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    Korben I promise that you will love again but...

    Korben I promise that you will love again but first you need to start loving and taking care of yourself again. From the way you talk about her even after all she has taken you through you sound like...
  45. You are definitely not alone out there man. Its...

    You are definitely not alone out there man.
    Its really good to hear that you started flying again. Keep this up and don't look back. Even if she contacts you don't let her get to you. She might...
  46. Answers
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    Go on a trip you've always wanted to go

    Go on a trip you've always wanted to go
  47. Answers
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    2,836

    You know what to do. You need to stop talking to...

    You know what to do. You need to stop talking to her. She is just meddling with your thoughts. She will keep on doing it for as long as she can because its making her feel better. She is only...
  48. Answers
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    No way Tal! It just feels good being able to...

    No way Tal! It just feels good being able to help people and give back all the good advice and support I got from you and the rest of the people on this site. It helped me more than anything! Thanks
  49. It is perfectly normal to feel like that. Take...

    It is perfectly normal to feel like that. Take this time to enjoy yourself and become the person you want to be. I was in your position 5 months ago. I went NC pretty much after the 2nd week. She...
  50. Answers
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    Is going back home an option for you? Do you any...

    Is going back home an option for you? Do you any other options apart from staying with him?
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