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Upon trying your suggested use of the nighty dyson I was dissapointed to discover that the desired 'mauve' effect was not achieved. Instead I get more of a terracota feel. Can you recommend the right...

Aahhhhh phil you give in to easily :-P u big multibeast

Ah yes I believe I once had an encounter with that unfortunate, grotesque beast. It screamed 'infidel!' as it revved its engine while smirking at the body of an elderly lady, her heart was lying some...

That my dear sir, sounds like quite an intriguing proposal, I have never myself manages to perform such a feat, instead contenting myself with a humble leafblower.

I would be glad to attempt to...

Well if were on the subject of confessions take heed of this advice my young apprentice.

I was once experimenting with the possibilities of using the microwave for that warm and fuzzy feeling it...

Oh yes indeeed, I tried all kinds of kitchen appliances before settling on the dyson. The fridge, washing machines, dishwashers, even the iron (altho that did cause some unfortunate scarring. Its not...

Don't worry young man, I know of many people (including myself) who experienced a similar problem. I was young, insecure and dabbling in drugs and the dark arts... the hoover had always appeard to me...