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Hi everyone, haven't been on for a while, was travelling during the summer - went to Africa, and I have gone back to university now, so my apologies for not being on here as much as I'd have liked. I...

Dude... the best thing you can do is focus on yourself!
Always look to improve who you are.. in any way possible, whether it be physically, socially, academically etc..
You sound like a cool...

Well said Tal...
Tiodaat, at the end of a relationship (particularly after being in love with the person) I have learnt that there is no choice - if you want to heal you MUST go NC... if you want...

Once again, textbook answer from KC... I know EXACTLY what you are feeling. You will spend weeks, even months replaying the whole relationship and breakup in your head, you will have sleepless nights...

Had to spread the rep Tal... You're putting all your hopes on one talk (which may/may not happen).. and in the mean time, you are not doing what you should be doing in NC. Take some time out just for...

So glad to hear that KC, keep it up!. I knew you'd be fine my friend!

KC, I have learnt so much from yourself and others on this forum!
I can feel your discomfort man, I know I would be the same if I heard something like that about my ex. But, at the end of the day......

My situation was kind of similar to yours Rome... my closure came when I found out from a 3rd party she was going out with/seeing the same guy she had been getting close to for a few weeks (when we...

Totally agree with you Janmarie..
If you can imagine a HAPPY life without your partner.. you love yourself. We have to remember, we create our own happiness... we should never feel the need to find...

* Write a list of your good qualities and accomplishments - So many times people are too hard on themselves and ALWAYS dwell on the negatives... well its time to look at the positives now. Scribble...

There is no way to TEACH you how to love yourself... I don't think you can get a lesson on how to do it..

You really have to take a step back, look at yourself.. and ask yourself whether you are...

Great post KC.. had to spread the rep.
Too many times people focus on the negatives about life and about themselves... we need to learn to see the positive in every 'bad' situation and the...

Hey guys..
Just browsing through the forum and I thought we should inject some positivity during this Easter Holiday period! :D..

I have noticed that many people's questions and struggles on...

What an answer Tal!. had to spead the rep... Sounds like TOP class advice once again

I know I'm inexperienced in such an issue to say the least... but how about when you are in atlantic city, book a nice little spa day for the two of u if its possible (something like that).. at least...

Wow... well I had a pretty nasty break up.. she left me for another guy.. and aside from learning TONS about myself, love and how to deal with the breakup etc (thanks to this website.. shout out KC,...

I think the main thing to learn is to do things for yourself, improve yourself... and do it not only because it will make you a better person but because you love yourself... and you don't need a...

Stay in NC my friend...
Believe me I know the pain you are going through as I was there not too long ago.
You are right.. you need to show YOURSELF some respect; and the only way of doing that is...

I agree with you Mark... I was given a bull excuse as well... she told me she wanted to live the uni life single because she "felt uncomfortable in a relationship and didnt know why"... in reality...

It seems to me that what you miss is actually 'having someone'.. having a 'girlfriend'...
I think maybe you need to be more comfortable being alone - its not a bad thing you know... believe me, I...

Great Thread KC!. Life is all about finding happiness within yourself... Once I am truly at that stage I believe only then would I be able to actually SHARE my life with someone else... and not make...

The truth hurts my friend... the only thing you are doing wrong is always dwelling on this now instead of actually learning from it.. thus making sure it will never happen again.
What I found...

OH MY GOSH!. 39 pages of GREAT advice and you are still struggling with the whole concept of NC.
First and foremost... READ Rome's sticky on the NC rules.. that should be a starting point!
You...

Dude... was in the same situation, exactly the same!.
My ex left me for another guy.. and did it over the phone!. worst thing is, I had to hear it from a 3rd party.. my ex didn't even tell me the...

Dude I can relate to your situation... my ex left me for another guy also.. worst part is, I heard this from a 3rd party.. my ex gave me some BS excuse as to why she was breaking up with me, she...

Brilliant thread Rome!. hopefully the newcomers on this site can use this info and all the other stickies to recover from their time of grief... NC helped me actually see things clearly for once,...

Had to spread the rep KC... I completely agree! Great advice!.
Crazy, just give it time and lots more time.. you will start to feel good about yourself when u do things for YOURSELF!. Don't think...

Rome, I am so happy for you mate!. I love reading your threads and have followed your story from the very beginning... I can very much relate to it because, as you already know - my ex left me for...

Keep working on yourself... when you are in a position to love yourself unconditionally and not blame yourself... you will be a lot happier and healthier - AIM FOR THAT!
We are here to support you!

Stay focused, you were doing well!
Actions speak louder than words... forget what she has 'said'..
You have a mission - stick to nc, heal, better yourself for your own good and you will find that...

Her "I dont know what I want" statement.. to me doesn't sound entirely true. To be honest my friend, she has made her decision- she knows what she wants, but she has done the same thing many others...

Yeah... So basically, just look back on the relationship and take what I can LEARN from it?. that's the best and most productive way of going about it if I am going to look back on things right?. I...

Well... your not doing anything wrong as such, but what your doing will never help you... a MUCH MUCH MUCH better thing to do would be to completely stop speaking to her and not get any info about...

Update:

Hey people, just thought I'd write an update on things since its been ages... I have had many exams over the past few weeks and have only just got some free time to update properly (exams...

Ive been following this thread for a while and have finally come to reach the end. I can relate to it so much...
Sneezy I got to tell you mate, WELL DONE!. I can't wait till I am in the state of...

KC is completely correct!. sounds like a ruined relationship. Egg him on to dump her!. best thing!
Back to the topic of this thread... there should be no double standards what so ever! I have learnt...

Had to spread the rep kc.. I agree

If she is trying to fix the relationship... you will know about it LOUD AND CLEAR.
If she just tries to talk to you here and there... she is probably just stringing you along. Forget it, go NC,...

Just a quick question guys out of interest purely... how did some of you address these boundaries with your S/O without it seeming as if you are controlling or whatever?.

HaHa...
I was in a similar situation... you could say I was Guy...
I gave my ex everything she could wish for, as well as all the love I could. I think she took me for granted... because, even...

NOOO dude!. bad plan
No contact literally means NO CONTACT...
You don't wait and then get back to her... you don't get back to her what so ever... only then will you be actually making progress....

Great thread guys!

Well, so far I have learnt;

- Never to make your partner your whole entire life - make sure you can live without them, have fulfillment without them... then you can SHARE...

Keep NC dude... sounds like you are doing great.
She will get the message... and hopefully will back off... I know her emailing you would probably piss you off since it shows she's got the nerve to...

That is great Rome... you improved yourself and are now reaping the benefits. You're an example to many on this site..

My situation is similar to yours... My ex would tell me all these...

Hey guys,
Was just reading the thread... and Rome that is amazing dude!. You have come a long long way!
I have had 6 weeks of NC so far... and hopefully I can keep going and get to the stage you...

Thanks for your replies guys...
As I said before... I completely agree, its difficult to maintain a relationship at university, and its probably difficult to maintain a relationship during any of...

DUDE!. please listen to us and everything we are saying. You are going to create a longer and more painful journey for yourself otherwise. This thread is now 10 pages of everyone telling you the same...

Hey.. thanks for the response slapshot.
Yeah.. Ive been sticking to NC ever since I started... its been nearly 6weeks now and I have been doing well. There is still time to go though.. I know that! ...

Thanks slapshot...
Yeah, I agree it probably is hard to maintain a relationship at university. But, I know that when the love and understanding between a couple is there.. its possible. I thought...

Nitemare,
I completely understand and agree with what your saying. Thanks for that post.

I would just like to clarify that I don't really resent the fact that she didn't truly love me, because...