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How many birth mothers really didn't want to parent their child? How many found themselves in a terrible situation, without support, abandoned by everyone? It's sad that these women aren't always...

Well, usually they are. And they should be. A woman who gives birth IS already a mother. And she will be a mother until the day she dies. So I find it only natural that until she proves herself to be...

ALTY, thank you for this amazing and at the same time terrifying story. I definitely think your cousin should have been reported to social services for child abuse. But what's done is done.

Yes,...

I don't remember where I saw this information, I just came across it while browsing through the Net.

Yes, my questions are ALL about anecdotes and personal opinions. One can find statistics...

But I asked about YOUR personal opinions when keeping a baby would be worse than adopting it out, not about the reasons others may have to go this route.

Yes, I do know American statistics. And I...

Oh, sorry, I misunderstood you. You wrote "Under 18". I thought it means that underage mothers should place their children.

I absolutely agree that this particular teenager was an unfit mother. But I bet she would be the same even if she was 10 years older. It wasn't just poverty, it was terrible neglect and the baby...

I am 36.

Actually we are planning to move out in a couple of months but I think we will visit my parents at least daily, because I can't imagine my poor aging dad going out with the dogs three times a day. :)...

JOYPULV, it seems you have a terrible opinion on American teens if you think they should give up their babies. :)



WONDERGIRL, it depends. Many adult children live with their old parents...

Thanks for the answer. Yep, Poland. Totally different culture. :)

OK, so here's my next question. :)

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adoption/teenage-mother-831049.html

Hello, I'm a Polish woman who is interested in such issues like adoption in USA, teenage pregnancy, single motherhood, etc. The issue I am interested in most is: When family separation is better than...

Yes, I do.

OK, sorry then. I never meant to offend anyone. Have a good day.

I am NOT a single mother (just unwed). Where did I say so?

I said I WOULD choose one.

You may say I'm weird but there are places on the Net where such weird questions are asked and no-one makes...

WONDERGIRL, I didn't compare a bad bio mom to a good adoptive couple.


ALTY, sure, I could write something like: "Would you choose your poor teenage single mother over a wealthy mature married...

I answered by own question: I would rather be raised by a single bio mom than by an unrelated couple. :) So I'd go with an "imperfect" family.

Yeah, I used the word "imperfect" - and so what? I didn't mean "dysfunctional" by that. I do think it's better to have a dad and a mom than just mom. However, I would go with a poor single mother any...

Ha! Are these families perfect to you? :) Because they are far from the American ideal family model. :)

Of course I don't care about being perfect. I respect single mothers, single fathers,...

JOYPULV, my responses originally dealt with two different issues: what people would theoretically choose for themselves and what their experience was like. When my 2 questions were merged into 1, my...

Look, I understand perfectly that neither being single or being an adoptive couple makes you a bad or good parent. But I wasn't going to write an essay about it. I was just curious about one thing:...

Sorry, I was seeking a place where questions can be asked and answers expected. Clearly I was wrong.

I said no-one owes me a story. But there are places on the Net where people share their experience gladly. And if they are not willing to do so, they say nothing.

I read some articles about...

No, these questions differed. It's one thing to ask about someone's experience, and the other to ask about a hypothetical situation.

JOYPULV, the problem is my two questions were merged into one. That's absurd but what can I do? I am new on this forum. So you are wrong about me saying that I go back and forth. My answers came from...

JOYPULV, I do read what others say. And I said I appreciate all replies.

Actually, I hoped for some personal stories. How people estimate their own childhood, etc.

I thought Joypulv is sick and tired of my questions and wishes I explained why I'm posting them. :) Thanks for all replies.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I am just trying to accumulate as much information as possible. No-one owes me his or her story, though.

My life is irrelevant here, really.

No, it's a theoretical question. I'd like to know if the lack of the father (as it's usually the mother who gets custody) detrimental to a child's emotional well-being.

I know that people's experiences will differ, but I simply like reading about - forgive me - imperfect family structures and how the now adult children perceived their childhood.

There are a lot of people who grew either adopted or raised by a single mother and their experiences differ, obviously. But I was wondering what would be THEORETICALLY better.

JOYPULV, it's just for me. Thanks.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your answers. I only wanted to know whether fatherlessness would be perceived as something more tragic than being raised by...

The question deals ONLY with single parenting versus adoption.

What would be better for you?