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I am so excited to hear that things are going well for you, Familyman2! How nice that you came back to the forum to say "Happy New Year" to the people who shared your grief online with you. What a...

Thanks ATYOURSERVICE, cadillac59 and twinkiedooter.. this is the exact information I had needed. ;)

Thanks, AT YOUR SERVICE. But, are you also saying that the guy and girlfriend CAN live together while he collects living expenses from his ex-wife?? Isn't that like having your cake and eating it?...

This is in California.. maybe Cadillac59 is looking in! Does anyone know if an ex-wife must still pay alimony/support to her ex-husband (no minor children involved) if he now has a girlfriend living...

CONGRATULATIONS FAMILYMAN2!! What a wonderful outcome to your year of heartbreak and concerns. Those of us who have kept up with your dilemma knew all along that you'd come out fine in the end. What...

Bravo familyman2!! Can you hear me clapping from here? What a great job you have done to stay calm and act like a responsible adult and parent. You took it slow and sure and never let down your...

It seems pretty irresponsible to me that this mother, who supposedly loves her children, would not find SOMEWAY to contact them over the course of two weeks. The children depend on consistency.. and...

Definitely something is going on and her sister knows what it is since she has called you. Your sister-in-law even said she would be arriving home late and/or was probably at home. For whatever...

I was so happy to see that you looked in and updated us! Thank you!

I'm so sorry that your ex continues to use your children to get back at you. And why she wants to 'get back' at you when you...

Thanks for your responses. I'm thinking one side is dragging his/her feet because money is involved and may be rethinking the whole thing.. though I doubt they would go back together (but who...

I'm wondering if it's possible that a divorce proceeding may never be finalized if one or the other spouse decide not to sign final papers? Could it stay in limbo for an indefinite amount of time.....

FAMILYMAN2, do you have an update you can share with us? How are your children? Are things amicable between you and your ex-wife? I know many of us would like to know how you have handled this...

Thank you! Yes! Your link gave me the info I was looking for on minute order! :D

I'm keeping an eye on my sister's boyfriend's divorce proceeding. In his opinion, his divorce was supposed to be finalized early last August. When that didn't happen, he said "early September". He...

Familyman2, you're right. It is obscenely unfair that the courts don't look at longterm damage to the children. It's a business.. that's all. A business for the attorneys.. a business for the...

Thanks for the update, familyman2. You have a good head on your shoulders. What a shame that you had to experience this in life. I can't say I was shocked by the behavior of your wife from what you...

Well, I looked at the glossary, too, and called the court. She told me "At-Issue+2" meant on that particular day there were attorney issues that had lasted 2+ hours (on one spouses side) and then the...

Found the answer to my own question. Thanks to anyone who tried!

Does anyone know what these terms mean on a divorce court register? "At-Issue +2hrs" (listed under register of court events) and "TRIAL SETTING CONFERENCE"(listed under court hearings)? These are...

familyman2, how are things proceeding? Are you continuing with the therapist for yourself? Are you having equal time with your children? Hope things are going well for you. Give us an update if...

Well, who knows what he/she told the court... for all I know, he may have given another address for himself. I had asked him why he's in the same home and he said he's in a separate bedroom. He only...

Thanks for your comments, windu7. Unfortunately, there is so much more to the story.. and too little space on this blog to list it all. When something/someone seems to be too good to be true, then...

Please call your local Catholic church. I have a cousin whose husband was an alcoholic and spent all of his time and money golfing. She was able to get an annulment.

I agree with startover22 and soroya. You need to let it be known through the police, courts or a shelter what your husband has done in the past, to protect yourself. If he is violent, then you...

I totally agree with "ordinaryguy"! Have your son go to the court in his city/county and ask about legal aid or a PRO BONO attorney. Please know that someone will help him or point him in the...

Well, I think Mom of 2 hit the nail on the head. Very good advice, in my opinion. She has said what I would have written. Stay calm, feel confident and keep your head up, familyman2... especially...

In my opinion.. it's always worth a try to go back to where it all began.. the courtship, the good times, the laughter.. when things begin to wind down and fall apart. It's why I always think going...

I've been away and have been checking for updates. I'm so sorry, Familyman2, that things had not worked out as you had hoped. As I had suspected, your wife was playing the 'waiting game' and figured...

familyman2, I'm glad you're not "pining" in your room for your wife and have considered moving to a more social area. Stay with the therapist and see what she considers for you and your wife. If...

Yes, she knew he was married but separated and going through a divorce. Since I am a sleuth, I found out that he had filed for divorce about a month and a half AFTER beginning to date her. The wife...

Actually, the person he is dating while still living with his wife is my sister. She's been "a little" blindsighted, to say the least, and the family is worried. Family is always my business.. we're...

Familyman, didn't your wife go to last Friday's counseling with you? I know you said she had gone to the first one two weeks ago. Why did she skip one already? And, she'll be missing tomorrow's,...

I know a couple going through a divorce, but they did not file for a separation first. They are living together in the same home until the divorce is finalized. Wouldn't it make sense to file for...

familyman2, I feel there is still hope since your wife made the decision to go to counseling. Perhaps she used this first session to cover her insecurities and guilt by putting the burden on you....

I think your 'opening' letter is extremely well-worded, familyman. You obviously took time to find the right words, putting blame on no one in particular. I think the letter should be read out loud...

I agree, talaniman. Counseling will expose if she is serious about being hopeful or not. Unquestionably, the children should always be the main focus. Good advice, tal.

I agree with YeloDasy... I would bring up.. nonchalantly.. in counseling, that your daughter has mentioned that another man has been visiting 'mommy' frequently. I would say you were bringing it up...

Tal's advice is good. A single rose (yellow is for friendship) is a great idea.. maybe with a nice, light-hearted card attached. Don't forget this is Memorial Day weekend coming up.. so taking the...

This is great news, familyman2! It's a start and hopefully it will escalate to the point of bringing you two back together! I'm glad you stayed calm and that you gave the PERFECT response. I...

Thank you for the 'thanks', familyman2. It warms my heart to have someone thank me for my support. :o I'm hoping that your wife will sit and think one day soon, "Hmmm, I wonder what he's up to .....

I don't like seeing people give up on one another, yet I can certainly understand when it feels so one-sided that you become so depressed. I remember a relationship years ago (not married) when I had...

I think you need to give it more time before you give up completely. You've been married 12 years. Giving up after such a short time of informal separation would be foolish. But, I personally feel.....

I think your note/letter to your wife was very well-worded and sweet. I had to bite my tongue, though, while reading it as you put the whole problem on your shoulders. I'm sure it was well received...

Communication is very important. I wouldn't give your wife an "ultimatum", but I would nicely suggest to her that you'd like to share what the therapist has been saying and how good you are feeling...

The bottom line is that you have to work towards what you want.. but not to the extent where it consumes your life. If, after two counseling sessions, your wife doesn't offer her willingness to talk...

I'm glad to hear that you went to the conselor and left feeling good about it. I wish your wife would have gone with you, but she didn't. It seems that she really thinks that you are the one with the...

No, it's not the morality issue. (In our religion it is not acceptable that they are dating while the man is still legally married.. but, that's another issue). My question here is the legal issue....

Since the couple skipped the separation and went straight for a divorce, does the divorce proceeding 'sort of' cover the legality of a separation? The man is still living with his wife during the...

What is the advantage of being legally separated while filing for divorce? Common sense tells me that a separation PRIOR to a divorce is to afford a couple some time to possibly reconcile before...

familyman2, anything happen over the weekend between you and your wife? Did you get to see her or talk to her at all? Or, did you get to send a card or flowers? Is your first counseling session...