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  1. Question: Back to NC.

    by SJB1701E
    Answers
    14
    Views
    1,055

    Well its not so hard to walk away anymore. In...

    Well its not so hard to walk away anymore. In fact, I'm running. A flower appeared on my car the other day, which creeped me out, since it was right afterme telling her to leave me alone. I called...
  2. Question: Back to NC.

    by SJB1701E
    Answers
    14
    Views
    1,055

    Well she emailed me again today and I deleted it....

    Well she emailed me again today and I deleted it. She said that she understood why I didn't thinkwe should be talking but told me she still wishes I'd reconsider. I'm not going to. I've made my...
  3. Question: Back to NC.

    by SJB1701E
    Answers
    14
    Views
    1,055

    Thanks for all the support guys. I've been off...

    Thanks for all the support guys. I've been off here for a while because I've been really busy, but wanted to update you guys on everything. I had been doing really good till today. The Ex broke NC...
  4. Question: Back to NC.

    by SJB1701E
    Answers
    14
    Views
    1,055

    Back to NC.

    Well after two months of being back together, my (ex)girlfriend has dumped me again. She says she expected things to go back to the way they were but doesn't feel like they are. She says she doesn't...
  5. UPDATE Well its been close to 2 months now...

    UPDATE

    Well its been close to 2 months now since I started this unothodox path. Things are going well I'm happy to say. After having talked through a lot of things, we are putting mistakes in the...
  6. Answers
    13
    Views
    3,184

    My girlfriend had problems when we started having...

    My girlfriend had problems when we started having a sexual relationship. It took 5 months of patience on both our parts before I could penetrate her without pain. It was psychological in her case....
  7. I would say, be direct with him. If you don't see...

    I would say, be direct with him. If you don't see any possibility of starting a new relationship with him and aren't emotionally comfortable talking to him, then cut him off. If you desire to start a...
  8. Answers
    12
    Views
    1,624

    I sympathize with you as I'm dealing with some...

    I sympathize with you as I'm dealing with some major insecurities of my own after having recently gotten back with my ex. She slept with another guy during the time I we were apart so now I feel as...
  9. That means a lot to me tal, and you are...

    That means a lot to me tal, and you are absolutely right about trust and forgiveness and that I need to be able to do both towards myself as well as her. Letting go of my own mistakes is something I...
  10. I have thought for as long as I feel I need to...

    I have thought for as long as I feel I need to about the situation and I feel that confused25 was right. She's standing here in front of me willing to work things out and I do still love her. I am...
  11. I love the slippery slope this discussion has...

    I love the slippery slope this discussion has taken. She's not being needy of me. She not asking anything of me. She's not attepting to change just to keep me around. I haven't offered her anything...
  12. I haven't made any decisions as of yet. Just...

    I haven't made any decisions as of yet. Just sorting everything out. Like I said, I hold her fully responsible for her own actions. I also hold myself responsible for my actions. If you saw the...
  13. I would also like to say she has admitted to...

    I would also like to say she has admitted to making out with him before the breakup... i.e. cheating... and to sleeping with him after the break up. Its not like she's still lying to me. What would...
  14. I'm not so na´ve... I know that she was...

    Do you honestly think she split up with you and then just happened upon this guy only two days after you broke up. At best, she left you for him, at worst, she was seeing him when you were still...
  15. Out of context tal... I wasn't saying I can...

    Red Flag? When you try to change someone into what you think they should be its not love, nor is it acceptance for who they are. Yes, I see a big problem with the path your on right now, as your...
  16. I know nothing but time could ever let me trust...

    I know nothing but time could ever let me trust her again. Nothing I ask her to do will instantly restore my trust or respect for her. I look at her and see two people. The woman I love and know, and...
  17. This, my friend, describes exactly how I feel...

    This, my friend, describes exactly how I feel about it.
  18. Ok, confused25 you bring up some good points but...

    Ok, confused25 you bring up some good points but let me clarify my position.

    First, the age gap isn't the issue, I was just using it as fuel for the fire. The real problem is that it invalidates...
  19. Well I don't think things can get any worse. I...

    Well I don't think things can get any worse. I got her to finally fess up to everything she was hiding. Everything I suspected is true. But there's a big difference between suspecting and knowing....
  20. Answers
    3
    Views
    602

    Starting over is a very hard thing to do. I'm in...

    Starting over is a very hard thing to do. I'm in the middle of that myself. Been back together for a month. The one big thing I learned from my break up is to pick your battles. Yea it was rude of...
  21. Question: Uncontrollable

    by SJB1701E
    Answers
    3
    Views
    779

    Well personally I believe in the look but don't...

    Well personally I believe in the look but don't touch policy. It is a little rude wo constantly be checking out other women while with you, but sometimes it's a little uncontrolable. I can't really...
  22. Answers
    4
    Views
    408

    6 months man... 6 months... you've only been...

    6 months man... 6 months... you've only been together 6 months...

    Love and a healthy relationship takes time, more time than you've put into this. She isn't ready, and I don't blame her because...
  23. Answers
    3
    Views
    559

    You don't have to forget it, accept it for the...

    You don't have to forget it, accept it for the confession that it is and move on. The point is, he says he is in love with you now and that is all that should matter. He didn't use you, and it sounds...
  24. Thanks for the Props KD33, but just FYI I'm a...

    Thanks for the Props KD33, but just FYI I'm a guy. :) Thanks though!
  25. Where to start with this one... First some will...

    Where to start with this one...
    First some will say you are, but you aren't doomed. That being said, you need to make some changes to have a healthier relationship.

    It sounds like the honeymoon...
  26. I guess what I really need to do is just sit down...

    I guess what I really need to do is just sit down with her and explain my feelings out in the open. Things failed last time due to a communications breakdown and keeping things inside. If we can't...
  27. She wants to maintain a friendship with the guy...

    She wants to maintain a friendship with the guy knowing that I am uncomfortable with it. I can't flat out tell her no, but letting her know I am uncomfortable with her continuing a friendship with...
  28. Answers
    5
    Views
    879

    Well for starters there is this wonderful sticky...

    Well for starters there is this wonderful sticky List of things to do after a breakup

    Combining excersise with a group activity is good like martial arts, sports, things like that. Teach yourself...
  29. Answers
    23
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    9,948

    I think there's nothing wrong with talking about...

    I think there's nothing wrong with talking about marriage/family/future at 7 months IF its casual and approached as nothing more than "what ifs". Approaching it as a what if lets you explore possible...
  30. Answers
    5
    Views
    879

    First, stop blaming yourself. This will kill you...

    First, stop blaming yourself. This will kill you because you will keep dwelling on every little instance you could have made a better choice. People make mistakes and that is life. Relationships fail...
  31. Still, not at 100% but I think it is something I...

    Still, not at 100% but I think it is something I can deal with. The age gap irks me, but its her life and her decisions. I've made plenty of dumba$$ decisions myself, especially at the age I'm at...
  32. Looking is one thing... Its not the "age of 41"...

    Looking is one thing... Its not the "age of 41" I'm hung up on, it's the 20 year age gap. I think a 30 year old with a 50 year old is just as creepy. At 21 she is a child by comparison to a 41 year...
  33. I'm trying to determine if I can deal with this....

    I'm trying to determine if I can deal with this. Its taking a lot not to yell and scream at her about how stupid this was of her to do. I've openly expressed my disgust to her repeatedly and all she...
  34. I concur, BMI, that was one of the best things...

    I concur, BMI, that was one of the best things I've ever seen Tal post on here, not that Tal doesn't always give great words of wisdom that come from real life exerience. I need to spread some rep...
  35. She has come clean, and that's why I forgave her....

    She has come clean, and that's why I forgave her. What she was hiding was the extent of the relationship with this other guy. When she told me about him, he was simply her "friend". All she had told...
  36. Guys, here's an update. Still proceeding one day...

    Guys, here's an update. Still proceeding one day at a time, and slow. She hurt me today. I've decided to forgive her, even though many of you wouldn't. I found out about a rebound guy earlier this...
  37. Well tal, I'm glad you said that, because now...

    Well tal, I'm glad you said that, because now we're getting down to the nitty gritty dirty, what went wrong and what can we do to fix it. We had a talk to day focusing on exactly that. Brutal honesty...
  38. She called me at my work Number... Oh...

    She called me at my work Number...


    Oh sorry, misunderstood you BMI. I hope its worth it in the end as well. I contacted her initialy because I think too much with my heart. Seriously our...
  39. You are absolutely right that I haven't healed. I...

    You are absolutely right that I haven't healed. I need to find a way to deal with that while dealing with having her in my life again. Impossible? Maybe. I brought this on myself, and I feel as...
  40. I do understand. I may have took it the wrong...

    I do understand. I may have took it the wrong way. Don't think I'm ungrateful. It just rubbed me the wrong way. I am OK with these dates, it is just going to be more emotionally demanding than I had...
  41. Ok seriously putting me on the defensive here....

    Ok seriously putting me on the defensive here. I'm usually not one to disrespect peoples opinions, but I feel a strong need to defend myself right now. Mostly you've been very helpful, and I really...
  42. confused25, I really need to spread some rep...

    confused25, I really need to spread some rep around, because I want to give you rep on every single post you've put on my thread, but it won't let me. Hahaha Seriously, you're advice is awesome and...
  43. Alcohol is an excuse. I know I'm responsible for...

    Alcohol is an excuse. I know I'm responsible for my own actions, but I guess its easier to blame the alcohol. The truth is I wasn't ready for this emotionally. Plain and simple. It's hard for me to...
  44. I blame the I love you (it was only one) on my...

    I blame the I love you (it was only one) on my drinking... or at least if she brings it up I will. Making out like little kiddies... well that's not out of the norm for us. We were doing that before...
  45. As expected, did some smart things... did some...

    As expected, did some smart things... did some stupid things... mostly went well. I handled myself well until I realized I had drank more than intended. Neither one of us got drunk, but there was...
  46. Sex... you are dead on about the reasons to not...

    Sex... you are dead on about the reasons to not let myself get drawn into sex with her. Are men, such as I, really so weak as to not be able to turn down sex? I think not. I won't put myself in a...
  47. Thanks, BMI. No I am definitely not sure my...

    Thanks, BMI. No I am definitely not sure my feelings to her, but talking to her this week has been giving me some good times feelings like when me and her started dating. I'm not rushing into this. I...
  48. I'm just going to say IF you do, just simply say...

    I'm just going to say IF you do, just simply say "Happy Birthday". Nothing else. I don't mean to say you can't make a complete sentence i.e. "I hope you have a Happy Birthday" or something like that,...
  49. Answers
    15
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    1,944

    1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV) 4Love is patient,...

    1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

    4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
    5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no...
  50. Answers
    15
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    1,944

    Well you asked and you received. We may be just a...

    Well you asked and you received. We may be just a "bunch of strangers on the internet" but we are real people also with different points of view. As many of us have said (since you asked) we would...
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