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True; was being a tad selfish in my post. That's what helped me. Then again, I did what John did, not once, but over and over... and over... for 4 1/2 months of torture.

... kinda comes off as a...

Agree with Paxe, Van... if your sick of the bar warpigs, John, ever tried the online dating scene?

Plentyoffish, e-harmony... etc

If your new to this, rock Plentyoffish first - it's free.

Exactly. This is not love, this is obsession. I was guilty of it, most are.

Remember though, LESS IS MORE. The less you do, the more it speaks.

... and hang out with more male friends dammit.

Virtual cheers van.

Personally, had a real rough day a few days back, but like you said, roll with the punches, and, importantly:

"my focus has helped understand the difference between need vs...

Jack this up as my worst nightmare with gender's reversed... wow.

Hey... your right... what the hell lol

It's never stricly one person's fault in the ending of a relationship 'choochoo88'.

There are many underlying issues at work here, brewing & spewing until a moment like 'going to the mall' boils...

.. how we doing today van... we got a little dark there..

... aand as I'm dosing off here..

Ha, I liked that post ^.

It's almost as if... if 'them' came back into our laps... would we feel the love? I don't think we would... and yet, I still don't...

I'm going to take some sleeping pills to make this nightmare ease in my dreams... preciate the call & response van... thanks, and goodnight.

Exactly. I could sense that, which is partly why I posted my episode tonight on here. To dish it out, and reflect. Hopefully, that felt good.

Your right... she does van.

She doesn't believe I live in Toronto because over the past 4 months of hell I was telling her in desparation that I'm moving to Toronto asap etc... with no money, no...

No, she didn't text me. I don't have a cell now because I was on her plan... etc.

She IM'd me on msn while I was out for a run... my name on msn was 'meat market on Spadina... how lovely' which...

I thought she was blocked on msn Van... honestly

Figured this was just going to be another lonely night in, now it's a lonely night with broken NC... checked her Facebook because, well, I just...

.. forgot to block the ex on msn... after all these months (she's thinks I don't live in toronto.. long story) she goes "you don't love in toronto loser!!!"

.. and I cry at this... why am I so...

I think I'd just like some random stranger to come up, slap me in the face, and scream "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

I'll be reading your above post over and over in the coming days Tal.

It seems we both need a little Rage in our emotions against 'them'.

I'm numb to rage, hence why I suffer.

Well, your going to do it anyway, so if you wish upon immediate gratification now, and tortoreous pain later, be our guest.

"I guess we suffer, make progress and suffer some, or maybe thats just me."

Same boat boss... same boat... the constant struggle.

Raises the glass to DerelictHerds on the link, good call.

I would say... accept the low, examine it... when she enters your mind in a negative, hurtful fashion, examine why. Instead pushing it...

"Therapist won't do anything for you"

I agree, and disagree. It's all in which therapist you choose, really. It can also be invigorating to share your inner most feelings with a face to face human...

Currently, I'm paying $85 a session (1 hour).

Though it's true, through Tao, Tal, and everyone else here, you have been getting excellent advice and feedback. I assume this thread isn't rated 5...

"people like this you can't mess around with you have to make her hate you."

That's what my ex did to me. Did whatever she could to make me hate her.

Yosomoton213: I should have pulled a...

Attraction doubles when you are the dumpee, temporarily. Now, temporarily could mean 4 days, 4 months and/or 4 years, depending on how many and how deep your roots are with her.

The dumper has...

I'm honestly surprised you haven't yet spoken to a therapist yet.

In Vancouver, I can imagine there being more than enough capable and established/respected therapist's within comfortable driving...

Agree with I wish.

I did this countless times, hence why I urge you to not communicate with her.

I know you want emotion, any kind of emotion from her will do. Please do not do this, as I...

Van, I hear what your saying.

The phrases, sayings and reasons my ex left me continues to be repeated over and over. Her having sex with someone else and poking jokes at it as if it were no big...

If you wish to have less drama and less emotional energy wasted on this woman, then surge ahead with No Contact. Trust us, and your gut.

Talaniman - is there anyway I could PM you.

Bump & Respond.

This is an amazing thread. 21 pages into this, and the insight is unreal. I say this to you guys in bed on the Itouch. This thread is infectious and full of everything I needed to hear, only four...