Search:

I have add. Trying to think let alone do many boring tasks when I am actively thinking about something else often means that things get done eventually. If something does not need doing NOw then is...

It was a HE - though an IT would be a better description. He refused to speak of his father or his childhood or his past relationships, and spent the entire relationship working out my weak spots and...

I think you are describing my ex. I have found through therapy that these people are so damn needy and so unaware of who they are that they lie without even realising it. They lie for what they need...

I always thought that much of what he said did not make sense. How would one want to move in with each other after a few weeks? WHy would one want to get married after a couple of months? I just saw...

What I find and still find amazing is how unaware they really are. How they really think that they are gods gift to mankind and how unwavering they are in this belief.
The only way I have found any...

Sounds to me that she has as much of a problem as you do - though you are facing your demons while she is burying hers. I really feel for you man. I also went to therapy (on the advice of my ex) and...

Has anybody else here been in a similar situation. It would be comforting to know that I am not alone...


I am just out of a three year relationship with a controlling narcessist and phew I am...

Consider going back if you, Jim, the son and the girlfriend can sit down and sort this out and agree on some boundaries in terms of behaviour and space. If this cannot be achieved then stay away.

And the thing I realise is that I pitied her as much as I ever loved her. The sex was amazing which held me in there - she knew which buttons to press.
I had very little respect for her by the end...

I think my problem is that I met my last girlfriend before getting over the previous one thus I was vulnerabe. Unfortunately for me I ended running into a nutcase who did everything she could to...

I don't know whether it is worth the pain...

After 4 years of lies, manipulation from emotionally the most needy individual I have ever had the misfortune of having a relationship with I am questioning whether I will ever be able to open my...

Needing space means needing out but being scared of being alone, thus scared of saying I don't love you it's over.
Get off the rollercoaster and on with your life.

I would tell her that she has gotten what she wants - has reaped what she has sowed - that probably works visa versa...

I have been in your position, but the other way around - my girlfriend was the controlling manipulative abusive one.
I ended it 6 months ago after 4 years together and I can tell you now that is has...

She probably has HUGE needs which she mistakes for love.
I have had the very same thing happen to me. You were duped.
She will love the fact that you are now jealous and take comfort from the fact...

I would move on big time. I think she meant every word she said to you and her words were true, but she now can't bear to be alone. She clearly has no respect for you or your feelings. How is your...

OK try this one. CHoose to think about her when you go to bed.
Then tell yourself that all what is happening is 'brain activity'. Realise that that is all that it is. Then tell yourself that she is...

Is all a game of control. If you take her back then you will be telling her that she will be able to treat you the same way again. That you will always be 'available' to her as a backup plan. She...

She sounds no good for you at all and I think you may now be fantasizing that she is somebody who she is not. She was clearly not honest with you on many levels. At the beginning of a relationship...

Some people prey on the vulnerable. If you are feeling hurt and weak then look to close and trusted friends and family to help you.

Good or bad it is what she wants so I would respect her decision and look forward.

Is it not a bit like jumping into the deep-end going to a gay sauna? I would be brave enough to be honest(ish) and to tell her that you are having bisexual feelings. By being honest you are...

If you do not give her space then in her mind you are likely to become the source of her depression. If you give her space but allow her to know that you are still there for her then she is unlikely...

They all said that they had seen a change in me and that I always seemed either stressed or less available to them. A lot of what I went through is a bit embaressing to talk about as I hear myself...

Ruby - thanks so much for your time and imput, it was so appreciated - It really did help me to crystalise my situation for my therapist to view, and it was very helpful to be able to talk to...

I saw my therapist today who said rather than thinking - which leads me to obsess, I ought recognise her effect as brain activity which does not merit thought - she is not worthy my thoughts. That...

I know what you are saying - and PTSD seems a likely possibility. Is like I was brainwashed and was not able to escape by any means during the relationship. I don't think she will be in touch anytime...

I stopped teling her what I felt as she was being so controlling and behaving so badly that I was really lost and confused. She said she 'worshipped me' and that I was her 'god' which I found utterly...

DO nothing. That is honestly the best thing to do. NOTHING.
It is only then that he will feel his life without you - thus know whether he wants you in.
Pleading, calling, texting, etc etc is man...

Can you explain why I blame myself for not moving in with her - not marrying her - not making her feel secure and loved? I think I may sometimes dupe myself into believing that it would have all been...

Yeah - I need to get back to feeling nothing for a while - though do not want to bury my upset and anger. Is good to know that she will probably be feeling very little about me now -
That link made...

The one overriding memory is that everything had to be on her terms emotionally - she needed x y and z and 'a lot of attention' she did once say that she finished with an ex because of 'lack of...

Will an abuser be aware of their actions? Will they be aware that they are being controlling and manipulative? Or will their deep seated insecurities and vulnerabilities override any posibility of...

Is fine that I got upset - it does help get it out of my system so you have no need to apologise. Is better than the stress and deadness I felt while with her! It also means I can have a good laugh...

Thanks so much for your response - it made me a bit upset. Is horrible as I am an otherwise intelligent guy, and I beat myself up for getting involved with this girl. Wish to god that I had not had...

Thanks for your response. The horrible thing is that she in many ways was so committed to the relationship and only behaved this way because I was initially wanting to take things slowly and then...

I am trying to work out whether my ex has a personality disorder or whether we were just emotionally incompatible?

I have had relationships - several. Most of them good.
3 years ago I met a girl...

It is not possible to win back the heart of an ex. They are the ex because you no longer have their love. Love wins through all adversity - if it is true and meant to be then you would still be...

Well the time and space thing is a polite way of saying that it is over, while leaving the door open just in case. I suspect from experience that he will have met somebody else...

The best way...

Do think someone who behaves like this really can feel love? The utter selflessness on her part (she would have brushed my teeth had I asked her - not that I ever would have BTW) tears and tantrums...

Thanks for that Philly! It does begg the question - whether I put up with the jealousy and sex for merely good sex? Admittedly I had not completely gotten over my previous relationship when we first...

Yes - I guess she inflicted the ultimate tact to make me jealous - though I did not take the bait throughout the relationship despite her attempts, though the new partner has made me feel very...

I was seeing this girl on and off and on and off for 3.5years. There were lows and highs but for most of the time she was insistent on living her life through me which made me feel very responsible...

This is a really difficult one... and I guess much of it will depend upon the intensity of the relationship, their ages, the time they were together and how it ended.

No contact at all is the best...