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Makes so much sense now :)

Thanks everyone.

Re: Homegirl:: [Are you that desperate?]
Sincerely, I am not. I have many other options as well. However, he sounded very nice and was straightforward with me / honest. We have a good common friend,...

Re: KitKat :: The friend who introduced me is a long time buddy of this guy, they know each other very well, and have the same friend circle. Though in different places right now. The guy is not...

Re: Cat [There is no relationship here. You have not been in a relationship with this person. Why would you keep even fleeting contact with a person who has shown himself to be all about him?. Is the...

Kit Kat, Tal, Homegirl & Jake: I agree! It is very helpful to see this written down by everyone else!

I have stopped contacting him already. I suppose I just wanted it to turn out differently!...

Kitkat and Homegirl: Thanks for your answer. Homegirl, That is true we do not want the same things 'to begin with' or 'as of now'. I am kind of done until he calls me back.


How slow are such...

Hello Friends, I was introduced to a guy over the phone by a common friend. I liked him a lot as a person. We had two long conversations over the phone.

CONTEXT: He lives far away, is single and...

Hi Sdjosh, Congratulations for the wedding, and also for such an amazing journey through your life so far.
I am very interested to know how well your friendship with your ex work out since then? How...

Hi SVImager!

I read some of your posts in the other thread and here. I like your optimistic, and analytical responses (on other threads).

I would like to say that I like the way you have...

This seems correct here.

IMO this attitude of him would be hard to change, and might be a slow and painful process.

"Brad Pitt also found Angelina, and life is good for him".

Itsmanor: Relationships may not be easy but they are not pointless! In fact, to be in a good relationship has numerous advantages, beyond happiness.

Reading this board full of relationship problems, I have decided to 'look for the good days, not the happy endings'.

Yes.



Yes! Men and women as intelligent beings want to explain everything and find answers! If you do not take a break after break-up and do that now, you will do that later.

I also noticed this!

I think it has to do with running away from your current problems.

Women probably suffer more from this because they (being the weaker sex/ gender bias) do not fully take...

I say this because she should experience the loss now, and so should he. He should see her grieve, and she should grieve to let him go completely, slowly. Otherwise, both of them will remain stuck in...

True, and I had almost forgotten till I read this !

I read some of these posts. Whatever you do - don't push her to stop talking to him. If their attachment breaks slowly it is good for you. If it doesn't, you will know, and you can move on with all...

It doesn't add up.

So which one is better according to you - love whole heartedly, or have people leave you because they feel they are giving up more of themselves to you than you to them?
...

Actually this is quite a significant topic. Nagging (or anything perceived as nagging) kills the relationship slowly and surely!

I learnt that the break up hurts!

So do your best, listen carefully and take nothing for granted.

You are right, I need to book mark this in my mind!

I still think when you are together, however much accepting you are of the person (its not even about acceptance, you may even adore them!),...

Inertia, You are wise, and you pointed this correctly. One should focus on oneself more, definitely. This is a very good discussion going on, thanks to your for starting this thread. Sorry, it is...

Women don't think of it as "criticism". They think "making improvement" or being "helping/caring etc".

Why do men always see this kind of nagging as criticism? Don't you always know at the back...

Even though I have been asked not to respond because of my cynical responses , I am writing here just to extend you some support in this situation, so that you can do the right thing. You seem to...

Thanks for sharing your life experiences, and advice, with others. Its heart breaking sometimes to see what people have to go through or are going through in some cases. May God give peace to...

You should focus on listening and following the conversation, to begin with. You don't have to talk. You can "participate" by listening. A good listener is equally engrossed, as much the ones who...

I am thinking your wife has some complaints against you, which may be making it hard to continue with this present arrangement of "spending your money". You may want to look deeper and ask her what...

Distance from you will make her realise this.

I think she could not be in love with that guy after all these years, and two kids. Even though she feels she is. If she was not in love with you, you would have known in all this time. One or two...

It seems to me that people look for emotional support, and on finding it more easily with the friend of opposite sex, confuse it to being "soulmates". Also, you may be getting along better with this...

If you want to help him, you could try to incorporate some physical activity in your time spent together. Please read this article....

Hi, I am not in any way qualified to give you an advise.. But after reading your post I have been wondering about why his habit of playing video games arise and thrive to this level? I think you may...

I think it is a lot of things going on at the same time. Why did you think you would be happy with him (i.e. when married) at the time you married him? What kind of a person was he then? Can you...

Here is a nice quote to drive this point home:
"My sympathies were not entirely with Okonkwo . . . . Life just has to go on and if you refuse to accept changes, then, tragic though it may be, you...

I am doing better since I last wrote about myself. Thanks.

Here is something to keep you amused:
http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love.html
Helen Fisher tells us why...

Hello Van,

You could try reading some books like "conquest of happiness" by Bertrand Russell. It is a very easy read, not meant to be theoretical or scholarly, even though written by a very...

What are you doing to make yourself more deserving of life's happiness?

Please think clearly.

Take some steps to rectify this situation, and happiness will ensue.

You cannot be looking down...

This is good, and enough.

Do not worry so much. However, its good to be careful, and notice the changes as and if they come.
Plus one thing you SHOULD NOT do is prod him about that girl. The more you do that the more his...

Thank you everyone, will try out everything. I am actually much better now than I was after the break up. .
I am glad to find this forum.

@ talaniman: you are right. Will keep moving accordingly.

Yes, keeping busy. Trying new hobbies. And volunteering. All help. More time doing stuff, means less time ruminating on what went by. This is not to say that at some point one ought to sit down and...

I had a relationship for nearly five years. After first 3.5 years we were living away as I was still in graduate school. Broke up up because ( his impatience, distance, etc), and the guy got engaged...