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I don't understand why everyone is under the impression that I am pinning all my hopes on one talk--which I am not doing, at all. I know we are not going to get back together, whether we talk or...

I just know that the talk is coming, and I have no hope that it will mean a reconciliation, or anything along those lines for us. If that ever were to happen, it wouldn't be for at least a year from...

I am doing best to move on, and certainly not waiting for her permission to do anything. The month of NC is almost up, though--only one week left.

I suppose if she doesn't contact me, it will...

I agree that the month of NC is what we should be doing, and we are.

That said, I think that she is under the impression that we will start talking, or emailing, on some level, when this month...

I suppose my question can be boiled down to the following:

Given the nature of my relationship with this girl, and our break up, would it be better for me to continue the month of NC that we've...

I really don't see how the two girls are even remotely similar. One was a graduate student that was slightly older than me and lived in the same city as I do.

The other was a younger, European...

Thank you for the replies.

This is a completely different girl than the one from 2007, and the relationship I had with this girl makes my time with the other girl in 2007 look like a small, wasted...

Hello,

I dated a wonderful and amazing girl who I met while she was on exchange at my graduate school in the United States. We dated the entire school year, over the summer (although 2/3 of it...

Hello everyone,

I seem to go in waves of NC. To be fair to myself, I have gotten increasingly serious, or maybe even just more disinterested in my ex, each time I've "started" NC again.

The...

It had been nearly a month since I had talked with her, and I called her one afternoon the other week. Five days later, she sent me an instant message apologizing "for not getting back to me."
...

Hello everyone,

I've finally gotten really serious about no contact, although I think it's also partially me finally getting over my ex (will be three months since she broke up with me in a couple...

Hello,

Next week will mark three months since my ex broke up with me. I am 24, a graduate student, was single for several years before dating my ex. We dated for about 5.5 months.

I've gone...

Unfortunately, I think you are exactly right. While I really mean what I wrote in the letter, and I think it's kind of big of me to admit as much, I also think it's just another attempt at trying to...

Thanks for your response. Both you and chuff make some excellent points--but I am still undecided on whether to send it.

I would likely tell you the same thing.

I think you've made a good point that, if I do decide to send it to her, I should have absolutely no expectations about it changing anything between us. ...

I see, and won't dispute your point. It's really how I feel though. Do I need to present some kind of façade if I want any chance of winning her back?

I thought it was somewhat ballsy for me...

Honestly, I don't know what she will think when she reads it. It's been about four weeks since I last talked to her, as (far as I know) she was concerned that when we started talking again about...

What follows is a draft of the letter, which I have NOT decided to send to my ex, yet.

I must admit, it was very cathartic simply writing this letter. A few days prior, I had written another...

If you're suggesting that the letter is unlikely to change anything and that she will have to come to me with a change of heart for anything to happen, I would agree that you are likely right.
...

Hello everyone,

It will soon be 11 weeks since my ex girlfriend ended our relationship.

I've thought about the two of us a considerable deal, and have been praying for more than two months...

Thanks for your response, and I see your point. I know my life will go on.

That said, I've never been even remotely this conflicted before. I feel like I should make some kind of grandiose...

It's been nine weeks since my ex broke up with me.

If I so much as glance as a photograph of her--all of which I have stashed away, but I manage to see her Facebook profile occasionally--I feel...

Hello everyone,

I think I have finally come to terms with what likely led to my ex girlfriend breaking up with me some two months ago. Although I guess there is no way for me to know for sure if...

We dated for ~5 months.

We are both 24 years old.

Thanks for your reply, mac.

Hello everyone,

It's now been two months since my girlfriend ended our relationship.

While I thought I was finally beginning to get over her, I've felt as bad or worse than I did since day...

I think you may be spot on about the loneliness factor.

Speaking of dating someone else, I have a date tonight. This will be the first time I've gone out with someone since the breakup, so...

Hello everyone,

It's been exactly two months since my ex girlfriend broke up with me. I maintained strict NC on my end the first ~seven weeks, when my ex started to instant message me everyday...

I agree, and I am not planning on calling her, or initiating any contact with her, for that matter.

I guess I should clarify how I ended up seeing her today. I made a doctor's appointment, and...

Update of sorts:

In a really weird turn of events (I made a mistake in a doctor's appointment for an injury, my ex is a medical student and was in the area, and I needed someone to check on me,...

She sent me a lengthy email about what she described as "anger issues" that she cannot control and should seek help for that "have ended all of her relationships in the same way."

She had an ex...

She has trust, anger, and commitment issues.

I know I came on too strong for her, when I told her that I loved her after dating her for about 5 months.

I don't think she has had much...

Update of sorts:

Although it was harder than I had hoped it would be, I kept her in my block list and did not talk to her online tonight.

I know she was online, though, as I checked from...

I've put her in my "block list" on instant messenger.

I am still having a hard time believing that, consciously or not, she would string me along for any purpose. She has been nothing short of...

I don't see why her missing me has to go as deep as a subconscious attempt at seeing if she still "has me." Why can't she just genuinely miss me, or realize she liked things better with me?

How...

Well, I don't know if I can ever be sure why we broke up, since she broke up with me. I would guess it had to do with her general fear of commitment, and me coming on too strong for her.

While...

She is 24 years old.

Thanks for your general advice about girls 25+/-, as I think some of that certainly applies here.

The longest we went with absolutely no contact was two ~two-week stretches, give or take a few days.

I hope she knows how much I care about her.

And, if she really only misses me in the sense that she wants to see that I am still available, then I clearly would rather not be with her.

I...

I am not really sure why we broke up. She kept saying she was confused, and not sure what, if anything, she wanted right now.

There was no cheating, no major argument, etc.

I want us to get back together.

Whether meeting her for drinks is a part in that process, I am unsure.

I do not know if I can just go out for drinks as friends, and essentially be...

Some background is found in the later parts of this thread:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/should-call-her-114955.html

It has been close to seven weeks since we broke up, and we...

Update of sorts:

As far as I know, my ex should know that I still care about her.

That said, I am worried I am setting myself up for heartache again if I meet up with her for drinks, as I...

Update of sorts:

Well, after sending me instant messages the past three days, she asked me if I wanted to meet up for a drink or something in the near future.

I am still in shock somewhat, as...

Thanks, same.

I appreciate your advice, and it resonates with what one of my close friends said--if I am legitimately busy, then don't go out of my way to talk with her, etc. but if I am free,...

Tal,

I've read your post several times--and I know it is wonderful advice.

I honestly have no idea where any my conversations with my ex are leading. After I sent her the email the other...

Update of sorts:

My ex IMed me the other night, and we talked for a little more than a half an hour. This is by far the longest we've chatted in a while, and I was incredibly happy.

She also...

Update of sorts:

I live in Minnesota, and as some of you may know, there was a tragic incident involving a major bridge collapsing.

I live very close to the bridge, and my ex text me to...

Thanks, Mac.

As same and I were discussing, I am going into NC mode for the next three months. I hope she gets back to me on the email, so I can delay my response, if applicable, a bit.

Thanks again for your thoughtful responses.

I will take all of your advice to hear. Best of luck with your NC, your ex, and life.