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I know, you are right and all the time I am hurt and in this dark tunnel he is acting like he hasn't got a care in the world and is out there living! So who's the fool? Me!

I know, everything you are saying is correct, I suppose if I do this it is then acknowledging that this is the end and accepting that my marriage is over and that there is no going back...

I said...

I know you are both right - I go and see my counsellor tomorrow and hopefully will feel more positive after that... I have a few self help books which I need to start reading again also - I know what...

I know... I'm stupid!

Hi sorry but not feeling good at the moment and have been poorly with a cold, I drove back from up North on Monday and now feel really flat, all my family were up there, now I am down South with no...

Well it is Sunday evening and I will be heading home in the morning, back down South... slightly anxious as I know I need to do an awful lot of work on myself and start liking myself again, then...

Thanks everybody for your comments, I really do appreciate them and I know it looks as if I am going around in circles and I probably am but being able to post on here and having people give advice...

Thanks for your comments everybody... I believe or used to believe what he tells me is/was true - didn't have reason not to, but now I don't know... for her to be so upset about them finishing after...

Well he has now decided to tell me that he has ended it with this woman as he doesn't want a heavy relationship and that she is very upset!! Why tell me she is very upset and also why should she be...

I know - you are right and as ever I receive wise words here but... why can't I listen to them, why do I keep hoping? Its pathetic and so am I! He doesn't deserve all this energy I am wasting on him...

I know he isn't worth it - I am putting him on a pedestal, and this other woman who happens to be slimmer and in my eyes prettier! Why am I intent on hurting myself?

It certainly does talaniman - have you got a magic cure you could give me? I am in so much pain - feel like I am right back where I started when he said he wanted to end the marriage.

I am feeling desperately low and sad - I want to get him and what he might be up to with whoever out of my head - any tips? How do I not care anymore? Why can't I turn the focus onto me - why am I...

Thank you both for your replies, I suppose I just have to go through the mourning process and hopefully start to heal soon.

It is interesting that he is not spending time with her, I have tried to...

Apologies in advance - you must be getting bored of listening to me by now...

A bit of an update... I am up north, got here on 22nd and stayed at his mum and dads until yesterday and now I am at...

Thanks Talaniman - you are right with what you are saying, I just wish I could get him out of my head and start moving forward, it is just really difficult at the moment.

I know you are right but a bit of attention would be nice but yes you are right and its just all talk anyway, I think I would run a mile at the moment.

Well he has probably been and dropped the...

I'm not going to be able to get an appointment with CAB until after christmas but perhaps that is not a bad thing, gives me time to think, get strong and start taking control.

Apart from the times...

I am struggling today, I find it really hard to know that he will be calling at the house to collect stuff having spent the night with her.

When he spoke to my daughter (1st time since last...

I know you are right - I suppose he has been in control the whole time I have known him - I have accused him in the past of trying to control me...

Hi Jake I haven't been for advice yet, I was meaning any more advice from you guys would be good... sorry to confuse x

it's a shame, in many ways, that christmas is coming, could do without it at...

That's where I was thinking of trying first.

Thanks for your responses - I have agreed to him coming round tomorrow, he doesn't know that it bothered me - I decided when I got home to clean the house from top to bottom, it just felt that I was...

Apart from this the house is a mess because of all that has happened in the last week and I really don't want him to think that I am not coping because I am coping sort of it is just that housework...

I am in the South of england - I probably can't stop him but it is the fact that he will be going to the house when I am not there... it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Now for the latest saga... just got a text from him saying that he has to go to the dentist near where I live so he is going to call to the house whilst I am at work and drop off some presents and...

I hope you are right Jake and thanks for taking the time to help. I am so grateful to everybody for the input.

If you weren't married or if you didn't live with my husband you would never see the...

Shaved my legs!

I understand what you are saying, I think what I am feeling (apart from feeling sorry for myself) is jealousy. We spent all those years, bringing the girls up etc (they are 19 and 22 now), no time...

I don't know about him being the ultimate loser, I think it will probably be me - he has got his version of the ideal woman I think. It is hard dealing with rejection. I have not been in touch with...

Thanks - I have woken up a bit sad this morning, just can't get the two of them out of my head and the thoughts of what they may be getting up to is making me feel ill - have to try and refocus my...

Thanks everybody - I've had a few wobbles today but I am in bed now and have got through another day - Amicon that's a good idea about writing down a step by step plan and I think one of the first...

Thanks for this... I am finding hard to cope today, it upsets me that when in March he left me, that is what he did, he left me with the house, which needs work doing to it, the girls, all the day to...

Sorry everybody but can I ask another question? When I found out my husband was seeing somebody else, he was saying but we are separated so its okay and that he is happy for me to meet others and...

Thank you so much for your response - it takes my breathe away as to how many people want to help and advise me - I wish I could be outside looking in as well, things would be so much clearer - I...

Hi I understand what you are saying and you are right it is just very hard, when you say it probably wasn't meant to be seems difficult especially as we have been married over 23 years, I am now 43,...

Hi Jake

Also forgot to mention, you said about keeping a diary, I think if I try and post on this thread my thoughts and feelings regularly then this trail would be good to read and also any...

Hi I know what you are saying Jake, I know it is going to be a rough road ahead and have been tested today already... he has been on the phone to my daughter today and been telling her that he hasn't...

Hi everybody - just a quick response to say thank you so much to everybody, you have no idea what help you are being, I don't know what happened yesterday - I think it was because I took control of...

Thank you both for your comments, a lot of what you have said is what I have been thinking.

Well most of the day I have been crying, unable to stop thinking about what they have been up to. ...

My husband decided to end our marriage March this year, it coincided with him starting a new contract a couple of hours drive away. He told me I had been a fantastic wife, I am his soul mate and...