Search:

Thanks Allie, apologies to everyone.
I am just afraid, so afraid. I hate the thought of her turning to someone else rather than me, that's is why I am so guarded but I can see that may push her...

Hi Cat. You seem to have a more of an insight whereas Kat and Jesushelper appear to be on the attack.
I wanted to join her at the Mall but I hesitated as, believe it or not, I actually considered...

If, for instance, the thing that made me happy was to frequent strip joints to watch naked woman, or drink myself stupid every night or visit ex-girlfriends. I am quite sure my wife wouldn't like...

No he is NOT right... when you are sharing a life together, you don't deliberately do something that is going cause any kind of discord between each other, it's a mutual respect for each other's...

I didn't actually 'agree' to let her... she asked if I would be OK if she went to find out more and I said that she should go to evaluate for herself... kind of different

OK I am really trying not to be that person.

Jesushelper... my marriage is NOT over, what kind of advice is that? That is just plain rude, disrespectful and not very conducive to helping... this is coming from a 'Relationship Expert'!
I have...

Hi Cat, yes I was waiting inline at the medical centre when I called her. I guessed she would be still in the mall. And yes you made a valid point although I didn't intentionally use it as a trap, I...

You are right, you comment was uncalled for. Although I have some issues I respect and love my wife, she was a medical practitioner for over 20 years in China, I just don't want to see her degrading...

My wife keeps raising the subject about her interest in learning massage, that is traditional chinese massage. She went to see a friend who has a business offering the service of health therapy which...

Thanks Letitbe appreciate your thoughts

I understand that these are, usually, old friends [from school] or at least, mutual friends, friend you both know. Would your husband be so understanding should you decide to have a coffee with one...

Sure, in that situation seems fine and 'normal' enough, but you wouldn't dream of accepting an invitation to go have coffee with him, I would hazzard a guess, but I would think your husband would...

I understand.. but please remember she didn't help this by lying and or making up a story that wasn't true or didn't add up... but I am heading in the right direction I think, I hope. Thanks to...

Good call. I am on the case. Regards

I agree, everyone needs friends but I don't agree with consciously complicating a relationship by unconsiously inviting new friends into our lives. If they are like minded couples, fine. Single males...

She does have one woman friend here who she meets maybe once a week although over the past 2-3 weeks she has been overseas unsure when she will be back. And recently she had a woman friend visit from...

Hi
From her cultural background. Meeting new people and meeting for coffee or a meal seems to be the norm. So for her she thinks making new friends for a chat or a coffee is normal, here, there is...

Thanks KitKat
I don't believe Bruce is someone from China, I could be wrong.
I am a basket case sometimes I know. I just get so frightened. I still see the counselor once a week. Cheers I do...

Me either

Thank you Talaniman I will try to adjust my frame of mind... My wife admitted telling lies about meeting up with Kevin. She says to avoid conflict knowing how I am saying also that she can look at me...

Thanks Kitkat for all you have said thus far. I will try to take everything onboard and will try to change my thinking. Regards

Thanks, good reasoning.
How do I learn to be more trusting, less paranoid and less jealous whilst still asking to be 'in the loop' as it were, as communication does need to be both ways. We had a...

Hi QLP
Yes we did get him over for dinner and Friday my wife, her daughter, her friend from China, Kevin and I also went out for dinner. He is a family friend from China and apparently a link in...

Thanks everyone.
I recognise that what I have is fear based. Fear that my wife will find someone else more attractive, more interesting through meeting more people. Yesterday her friend [woman] flew...

Thanks everyone.
I recognise that what I have is fear based. Fear

Hi
PositiveParent, thank you for your input. I had a look at your link, but I don't believe this fits who I am, I don't consider myself with the symptoms of Helplessness. I have a fear of losing who...

Thanks KitKat I will ask her

Don't get me wrong, I thank everybody for their input, it does help.

Hi y'all

Kitkat, you say 'Knock off the questions', if I have concerns I need to find a way to communicate these concerns with my wife in a way that is not confrontational, controlling or...

Not as often

Thanks Asking, you get my concern. You are spot on in my concern about how did she even get into the conversation in the first place that got to asking to have coffee, I am so confused. I don't want...

I may add that she seems to think, for her, this is normal behaviour. Being friendly to people. And as long as this is in a public place not a private place, this is normal behaviour.. I ask that for...

Hi guys
Things have been fairly calm over the past few weeks.
Early in our relationship she made a throw away comment about her eagerness in learning english something like 'if I am at the shopping...

Just to be clear Tal, which bit do you agree with?

Thank you
When we first started our relationship I immediately introduced her to as many of my immediate friends as I could, some friends I haven't seen in a while so I haven't counted those. The...

Hi guys.
I am trying so hard to be a better guy, trying so hard to put things into perspective, trying so hard to put past bad relationships back in a box.
I called my wife as I usually do during...

I mean Kevin was my wife's ex flatmate, before she was my wife, not Kelly's.

Kelly doesn't know Kevin and Kevin was her ex flatmate in that apartment complex.
Hmm yes sometimes I check her phone and she looks through mind [maybe for different reasons]. She goes through my...

Sorry, to clarify. She walked around to the back of her old apartment [where Kevin still lives] when our apartment complex is on the main road in front of her old apartment.

I have another 3 weeks before my counselor returns from holiday. Its hard.

Thanks everyone
I really don't expect her to report on everything she does or on everywhere she goes as such. I understand that some days she may choose to take a walk differently to other days or...

With the previous girl I found out by accident after she told me she couldn't come out as she had to help family with a big dinner. Just before I decided to go to bed I send her a message say...

I am looking for that book

Hi
I agree that GPS [find my phone app in iPhone] is not pin point accurate but I believe when it shows me she is going in the opposite direction to home and down a street a block away from our...

Hi
Counselor knows about the GPS, she understands why, considering my past upsets in relationships, BUT has asked to stop it although she knows its difficult to stop straight away. I am doing it...

Hi guys its me again. Been to two counseling sessions so far and I felt better getting things out. Then Something happened, wanted to talk but counsellor is off on vacation, go figure. Hope you could...

I understand, thanks

Hi y'all.
Been to two sessions so far. First session trying to cram my past history into the first hour in order to give her a base for my background, second session wanted to get more off my chest...

Kitkat
I am still in contact with my first wife, we have a son together, he is 13 years old. I see him every Saturday and look forward to weekend stay overs on school holidays. I also have a...