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jheep,first of all,wonderful job of healing and recovering... you are doing great at this stage and am sure it'll just get better... thoughts and memories have a habit of crowding your mind just when...

The best way to know what one should do is to ask themselves a very basic question : am I happy in this?well,of course you aren't,because if you were you wouldn't have expressed your concerns here.....

She threatened to call the cops and you still say you are stuck and don't know what all this means?

What would it take you to realise that THIS IS FINALLY OVER AND DONE WITH... hope you don't want...

You seem to be stuck in a very harmful and dangerous situation... your post doesn't reflect your awareness of this though you mention in detail about what all he does to terrorise you... if you don't...

Who said no one's been through what you are going through now?in fact,take a look at most of the posts on this forum,you will find similar situations...

What to do,is simple... whats there not to...

beats me what you think your worth is when you say openly and unhesitatingly some guy treats you like s***...

if you don't value yourself,the world cares a d*** to do so...

enjoy being...

Attractions,feelings are all our side of the story... they are ours to have and ours to stop having as well... any attraction or feeling that is self-destructive should be controlled,checked and...

OP,we are all here on this forum to help but we also made a promise very long ago that we would all try to be better people than we are and we will try to help each other in being so.Hence we prevent...

Tinkerbell04,going against the tide of my fellow posters,I would just like to say this--men look,it's a given and sometimes it does make us women feel kind of jealous and mad especially when we are...

Ellastini,I feel so sorry that you are in a cold,loveless marriage.You sound starved of love and affection.You don't have a normal,happy,healthy relationship with your husband,cant trust him,feel...

Time heals,trust me... you are doing good by staying NC... keep it up,take care of yourself,eat and sleep well,go out,meet new people,put in efforts to move on... one day you would have even...

Glenfare,my heart goes out to you.I can't even imagine how painful it must be for you as a parent to not know how your daughter is,whether she is happy or not,whether everything's OK in her life or...

Tal--thanks for being your usual blunt self--pity pot's the right word... OP,at the cost of seeming harsh(which I feel you need right now for your own benefit--a reality check),just re-read your own...

You need to get tremendous control over yourself.You sound extremely disoriented and mentally disturbed.And all for someone who's very clearly used you.How do you explain the constant back and forth...

Too much of ego on both ends for this to be a healthy relationship.First you treat him badly.Then you start falling for him and he starts treating you well-sort-off badly,since after all,you were...

Foxcash--thanks for saying all that I wanted so precisely.

Again,if you are a troll,you'll fall off your chair laughing at the seriousness with which we all are replying to your fantastically...

When a crisis occurs,it also gives you the opportunity to evaluate and assess your relationship,in a way that you may never have done had everything been perfect.This whole incident has given you the...

Scpark-we have all gone through bad,broken relationships.All posters and advice givers here are here for the reason to either get a perspective on their relationships or help others get that...

You are very welcome dear :)

What I forgot to add my post is the fact that the more you go out,socialise,meet new people,you are that much closer to meeting someone you might really like.Of...

Busybee,aren't you looking too hard?Take a deep breath and relax... you make 29 sound like the end of the world.Chill :)

You've asked a question many people would love to have an answer...

Hmmmmm,you feel wonderful yet you keep having doubts as well.

Sign for you to slow down a lot.You need space,both of you,and time,to actually know each other.If you don't do that now,you're just...

Silverpetals,great question.Makes me wonder for the millionth time why we don't have something like relationship courses in school... so many questions can get answered and so many couples saved :)
...

If he's avoiding answering your questions,that's something to think about.Or maybe he hasn't gotten past the dating stage yet and doesn't want to get serious too fast.

Only two people involved in...

SCPark--I would have to say this,you sound like a mature, young woman who is confident and independent.When you sensed you weren't being treated properly and the guy was messed up,you toughened...

Anatomi,like you say so yourself,I don't think there's much love between you two at the moment.He liked you,more than you did him,as you say,then you started liking him and both of you were giving it...

SCpark,you have done the right thing by conveying your feelings to him upfront,esp the "I am nobody's option" part.Way to go!

Back off a lot,carry on with the great job you are doing at work,get...

From the outside I can see what you cant... this isn't a healthy,happy relationship.not only did he get his ex pregnant and got into a relationship with you without getting over her,he also slept...

Like I said,there was zero feeling.Thanks to a great support system and my own learning and growing,I get over smoothly in the end:)

But mine was long back.Give yourself time,am sure you will...

One good point out of all this mess is you are aware of your shortcomings.But,are you aware what you want?Ok so you are/were pressured for marriage(yes and did the marriage finally happen?),but what...

I somewhat agree,in logic,with Isneezefunny.If he was the type to hide,he wouldn't have been so open about his ex.

Having said that,I also agree that having the constant nagging presence of his ex...

Wondergirl is right.Treat him like he doesn't make a difference to you,saying a hello or smiling also should be very impersonal and formal.Like you would any stranger.

The other day I came across...

I know I may sound a tad weird myself when I say this,but are you very sure you wouldn't like a clean break-up and then move on?

There's been too many "break-up"conversations,confusion,arguments...

Agree with Tal--too sensitive to give an opinion without having more facts.You could just be plain curious,as someone suggested,and ask her as if you were intrigued by this.See what she's got to...

Well,you sort of just know from the vibes he's giving you,if he's interested or not.

You can keep waiting for him to make a move or take matters into your hand by showing more interest in spending...

I like what both Tal and Jake say.You aren't in a stage,like him,where you are just casually interested.Unlike him.His actions suggest he obviously likes interacting with you,but that's about what it...

Daniel,some anti-depressants are really powerful and have pretty scary side-effects.Hope you know what you are doing with all the experimentations you are carrying out with various meds and...

While you work on yourself,keep reminding yourself that you aren't expecting anything in return from your ex.You aren't spending every waking moment trying to figure out what she's...

We are all human.We make mistakes,lie,cheat,do stuff that jeopardise beautiful relations in our lives and hurt them.Sometimes things end happily,people forgive us,come back to us and sometimes we end...

It seems kind of casual and flighty the way you talk about your so-called relationship and your girl-friend.In fact even a bit brusque.

You say you know what to do.Hope that means,apart from...

If you feel you have done everything possible in your power to convey your feelings/apologies etc to her and have done your best explaining your point of view and even after that if you feel you...

There are no mixed signals.Its very clear to all of us here that this woman has broken up with you and started moving on.A relationship as long as 4 yrs can't just end.There are always...

Give your best and final shot in trying to get through to her,communicate your love for her and base your future decisions on that outcome.

But be careful how you approach her and what you say/do...

How old are you?You don't seem mature enough to understand the bottomline in this entire situation,which is : You gave your body without thinking.You ended up "doing it for him",as you say,without...

Just also wanted to put forth a suggestion.If you feel you would like to know why she sent you that message and something which you feel is really bugging you,then its always advisable to just ASK...

The full you is not ONLY dirty secrets,right?It is ALSO dirty secrets.Nobody's perfect but that doesn't mean I only highlight those aspects of myself which I am not very proud of or embarrassed...

Too many mind games and people "getting with" here for a healthy relationship to develop.You liked a girl but she didn't or she did but not that much,then she did but you didn't,then there's a party...

Is this guy your ex you are talking about?Or a new guy?

If this is the old guy,you already know that was a big mess.If new,then he too deserves to be dumped if he prefers listening to others...

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage.I think you know deep inside that you aren't happy in this relationship.Agreed that there have been good times,thanks to him you have quit smoking,which is a VERY...

Right as always Red--reading good books,taking care of your mind,heart and body and surging ahead with your head held high is the way to go forward.And about the job part Michelle,just keep your...

Getting ahead in life is something everybody wants.Some make it,some end up on the side-lines.Read the inspiring success stories of some people who made it by back-breaking hard work and...