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kimmystar · Aug 10, 2012, 07:45 PM

HI' I have a situation that I am new at, My fiancé is a Christian, and I am a Roman Catholic. I have been raised as a Catholic' then I had decided to take part in the Christian community. I understand both religion background very well. Yet I still proven to be Catholic. My fiancé and I both have decided we want to keep our traditions. Since I am Catholic I want to get marry in my Catholic Church, and we would like his Pastor to be involved. Since he speaks Vietnamese, we want this Vietnamese Pastor in our Catholic Church Ceremony. How would you put two together? My fiancé just wanted to rent out the Catholic church. For my piece of mind. Because I want a part of my Catholicism with his Christianity.
I really need to figure this out. Please give me advice so we can set our goals.
Its very confusing.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 10, 2012, 08:31 PM

First Catholic is a Christian.
Your term is Protestant ( Protestant and Catholics are both Christian.)

Many churches, including some Protestant ( you did not say what denomination the other pastor is, that also makes a difference.

But Catholics do not have other pastors that are not in communion with the Catholic church take part in the service. My may be allowed to do a bible reading or something.
But many Protestant denomination would not enter a Catholic Church either.

Also unless the non catholic takes lessons at the Catholic church and agrees to raise any children Catholic, it is very possible the priest will not marry you either.

You can not just "rent the catholic church out" you can rent the meeting hall or social hall out for meetings often. But the alter and church area is sacred and will not be allowed to be used for non catholic services.

kimmystar · Aug 10, 2012, 09:04 PM

The pastor is Christian' and also my fiancé is Christian.

kimmystar · Aug 10, 2012, 09:07 PM

Yes I believe the word is Protestant Christian.Thank you

hauntinghelper · Aug 11, 2012, 07:10 AM

Married couples rarley keep and practice their own religions throughout a relationship. Compromise will come, one way or another.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 11, 2012, 07:19 AM

Ok, Catholics are Christians, and so is 100's of other groups.

Christian is not a denomination and a pastor almost always belongs to some group.

Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Pentecostal and more. ( many more)

Christian merely gives a general and vague idea of what the pastor and church teaches or believes, A Baptist for example has little in common with the Lutheran in fact the Baptist does not even accept the baptism of the Lutherans.

So merely saying they are Christian tells us nothing, so without knowing what type of Christian and what denomination they belong to, I can't even start to say how they will interact with Catholic.

If that is all you know, then my assumption is that they are not very strong in their faith or belief.

paraclete · Aug 12, 2012, 06:06 AM

I honestly believe you will find it very difficult for each of you to follow your religion. Whilst catholics are christian they rely heavily on their traditions and some of these conflict with, as Chuck insists, protestant beliefs. The reality is there is no protest these days but there are still areas where beliefs differ and this can be contensious particularly when it comes to a wedding ceremony.

smoothy · Aug 13, 2012, 08:12 AM

If the Catholic Priest will even marry a non catholic in their church is heavily dependent on the attitude of the Priest.

It can be done according to church docterine, but there are a few complications..

#1. Priest HAS to be willing.
#2. Usually you need the Approval of the Bishop that oversees that church.

Problems are that as was mentioned... they may not want or allow a second Priest or Pastor there, and you can't make them if they don't want it.

If the Priest isn't willing it's a no-start, if the Bishop disagrees, it's a no-start.

And a Protestant and a Catholic can have a happy life together... unless maybe you live in parts of Northern Ireland.

I am speaking as a Protestant who married a Cathiolic Girl in her Catholic Church by her priest without and promises or conditions where I was expected to become Catholic. Twenty years later She remains Catholic and I remain Protestant and when we have disagreements... they are never about religion.

I got lucky with a friendly and personable Priest... I had no problems getting the Bishop to approve after meeting and talking with him... however that might not be the case for everyone. And I have no doubt there are many Priests that would NOT agree with it. Having had a Priest REFUSE to allow me to become a Godfather to my nephews after me and my wife were both asked to be Godparents.

JudyKayTee · Aug 14, 2012, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

I am speaking as a Protestant who married a Cathiolic Girl in her Catholic Church by her priest without and promises or conditions where I was expected to become Catholic. Twenty years later She remains Catholic and I remain Protestant and when we have disagreements.....they are never about religion.

Raising my hand - raised Catholic, married an Orthodox Jew. Never an argument (or even a discussion) about religion. I don't know that religion defines who anyone else. He was a kind, moral man - any other religion and he would have been just that, a kind, moral man.

jenniepepsi · Aug 20, 2012, 01:18 PM

I know its late, but I did want to chime in here. I am non denomination christian, raised baptist. And my husband is catholic. We have our share of problems, but religion has never been one of them. We both love and worship the lord and christ. He simply prays differently than I do, and I respect that. We both go to a non denominational church. Though he did want to go to a catholic church, we did try. But he didn't like how I wasn't going to be accepted until I converted and went to catechism school. (which I DID try, I am not AGAINST catholicsim) but I just couldn't make it through. And my husband was the one who suggested we just stick to a non denominational.

JudyKayTee · Aug 20, 2012, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

I know its late, but i did want to chime in here. I am non denomination christian, raised baptist. and my husband is catholic. we have our share of problems, but religion has never been one of them. we both love and worship the lord and christ. he simply prays differently than i do, and i respect that. we both go to a non denominational church. though he did want to go to a catholic church, we did try. but he didnt like how i wasnt going to be accepted until i converted and went to catechism school. (which i DID try, i am not AGAINST catholicsim) but i just couldn't make it through. and my husband was the one who suggested we just stick to a non denominational.

All it takes is two people who either agree - or agree to disagree. That's why communication in these situations becomes important.

I also have a stepdaughter who keeps Kosher, so I had to learn fast and quick so I wouldn't unintentionally hurt her feelings or prepare something that was contrary to her beliefs. It's not as easy as not eating meat on Friday!

jenniepepsi · Aug 20, 2012, 02:06 PM

I agree judy.

He was even supportive when I was learning about and involved with Islam.

paraclete · Aug 21, 2012, 12:48 AM

It can work if you keep the love of the Lord as part of your marriage, don't get into this only one religion thing, and be open about your beliefs

jenniepepsi · Aug 21, 2012, 01:06 AM

Well said paraclete.

I think the only time that a marriage wouldn't work as far as religion, would be if they each follow two completely separate gods. Such as a christian with a Buddhist. Or a wiccan with a Jewish person.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 21, 2012, 04:25 AM

Actually a Christian and a Buddhist may work better than some of the Protestant faiths and a Catholic or a Orthodox. Since a Buddhist believes there is some truth in all religions and there is not just one path to enlightenment. Where in, some Protestants faiths teach that Catholics worship the AnitChrist and are not only doomed to hell but actually working for Satan.
So much for all Christians getting alone

Also so much is how much they really practice their faith. My "Christian" neighbor, does not go to church, his "Christian" kids have not been baptized or christened. I don't even know if the yougest has ever been in church outside of easter and christmas. They don't pray before they eat or at night, there is no family bible study. So would one of them really have a major issue marry someone of any faith ?

joypulv · Aug 21, 2012, 05:20 AM

We still don't know what denomination the fiancé is. There are many kinds of Protestant. Please tell us.

NeedKarma · Aug 21, 2012, 05:26 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Raising my hand - raised Catholic, married an Orthodox Jew. Never an argument (or even a discussion) about religion. I don't know that religion defines who anyone else. He was a kind, moral man - any other religion and he would have been just that, a kind, moral man.

Applause.

paraclete · Aug 21, 2012, 05:54 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

We still don't know what denomination the fiance is. There are many kinds of Protestant. Please tell us.

What does it matter what denomination the fiancé is, they will attend a non-demoninational church.

I expect that means catholicity, calvinism, lutherism and various other isms are out the window

Fr_Chuck · Aug 21, 2012, 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

We still don't know what denomination the fiance is. There are many kinds of Protestant. Please tell us.

In some nations, as I am now finding out, there is Protestant. They are all lumped together. So the person going may not know if they are Baptist or non demoniational or what

jenniepepsi · Aug 21, 2012, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Actually a Christian and a Buddhist may work better than some of the Protestant faiths and a Catholic or a Orthodox. Since a Buddhist believes there is some truth in all religions and there is not just one path to enlightenment. Where in, some Protestants faiths teach that Catholics worship the AnitChrist and are not only doomed to hell but actually working for Satan.
So much for all Christians getting alone

Also so much is how much they really practice their faith. My "Christian" neighbor, does not go to church, his "Christian" kids have not been baptized or christened. I don't even know if the yougest has ever been in church outside of easter and christmas. They don't pray before they eat or at night, there is no family bible study. So would one of them really have a major issue marry someone of any faith ?

AHh I did not realize that about buddhist. Thank you! I think I know which religion I should research next :P