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damaged · May 31, 2008, 10:49 AM

Today is my birthday and I feel like dying... My ex text me to wish me happy birthday and its killing me... I spent my last birthday with him... I feel so bad... I hate him so much... I wish I could forget him... OMG I don't know what to do anymore:(

debbiew1984 · May 31, 2008, 11:07 AM

How long have u been split up for?

damaged · May 31, 2008, 11:17 AM

2 months...

debbiew1984 · May 31, 2008, 11:21 AM

You are allowed to feel like crap, it is still early days and there is still feelings there.

Did you have any contact with him before your birthday?

damaged · May 31, 2008, 11:30 AM

Yeah, I saw him on mother's day... after that he kept contacting me until I asked him what does he want from he.. He said my company, but I said I can't just be friends.. so we stopped talking and today he txtd me.. but I feel bad.. I don't want to hurt any more... I'm tired of crying when I think about him.. I hate the fact that only time heals.. I try to be happy but sometimes I can't... Im tired!! :(

Fr_Chuck · May 31, 2008, 11:37 AM

Do start deleting his texts without reading them. You feel bad because you allow him to do this to you.

debbiew1984 · May 31, 2008, 11:39 AM

I know how you are feeling I split with my ex 3.5 months ago and we have been NC from day one. I saw him a week before my birthday and I thought he would have text me but he didn't and I had the worse birthday but then if he did text me I would have felt worse, do you think you would be the same?

Best thing you can do if you can change your number and as much as you can move on. It will be hard I'm 3.5 months on and still cry when I think of him

damaged · May 31, 2008, 11:40 AM

Even if he doesn't text me I feel bad... before I met him I was happy.. now I'm never happy even though I try to be..

debbiew1984 · May 31, 2008, 11:44 AM

U will look back on this in a year and think what was I doing. It is hard I'm going through the same thing, I check my phone all the time just in case I missed that text or call.

How long was you with him for

damaged · May 31, 2008, 11:44 AM

I don't think he's going to text me anymore... he did it today because it was my birthday but he won't do it again.. and even though I miss him everyday I don't contact him... he's the one who always comes back to me, and I'm stupid enough to allow him... seriously I just want to forget about him completely... I don't think he's the man for me, but still I suffer for him... I Want to FORGET HIM :(

damaged · May 31, 2008, 11:47 AM

I don't know how to explain this but I don't think its he I miss... I miss his company, having someone to talk to/hang out with all the time...

We were together for 2 yrs..

debbiew1984 · May 31, 2008, 11:51 AM

You will get stronger, 2 months is nothing , not long @ all especially after a 2yr relationship.

In my 3.5 months I haven't had any contact and I doubt very much mine will be back.

I wish you the best, try and get new hobbies go out with friends find stuff to distract yourself, it could well be that you miss having someone there but if he did came back and say lets try again a few months down the line you will be back here

damaged · May 31, 2008, 12:01 PM

I hope I get stronger!. I don't think I want him back... I don't feel he's the one for me but why do I cry?. why does this bother me?

Originally Posted by debbiew1984

in my 3.5 months i havent had any contact and i doubt very much mine will be back.

Do you miss him a lot?/
Do you want him back?.

bigbird213 · May 31, 2008, 12:08 PM

Damaged, listen to me.

He sent you a message on your birthday. He is trying to ease his guilt. He feels guilty, he knows he hurt you and probably didn't want that, but didn't want to be in the relationship anymore.

There is NOTHING wrong with you not responding. In fact, I think it is best as you seem too fragile still to text him back. After this long of a period, if you cannot text him and not hold onto hope, just let it go. If he is mature enough, and cares enough about you as a person, he will understand.

Do not get caught up thinking that he will take it as a personal attack. Even though he is your ex, he still cares about you as a person, if he had not, you would not have lasted 2 years. I know its tough to ignore contact, you feel bad for ignoring them, but it is best for you - especially if you are in a fragile state.

You do not need him as a crutch.

debbiew1984 · May 31, 2008, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by damaged

i hope i get stronger!!...i don't think i want him back...i dont feel he's the one for me but why do i cry??..why does this bother me??

do u miss him a lot?/
do u want him back???..

I miss him loads I still love him and will do for a long time, my break up came from no where and all he wanted was space but yes I do want him back but I have gone NC for them 3.5 months I won't change now.

It bothers you because you still have some feeling there, its normal. Your crying for the same reason also. 2 years is a long time to be with someone then nothing. Its just like grieving. I wish I could get past this stage also. Do you have many friends to go out with to take your mind of things

bigbird213 · May 31, 2008, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by debbiew1984

but i have gone NC for them 3.5 months i wont change now.

This could be inspiration for damaged.

After 3.5 months, you must feel MUCH better then you did the first few weeks. The healing is amazing, once you can realize it.

debbiew1984 · May 31, 2008, 12:18 PM

I do feel better but the tears are still there I still cry, he spoke to my sister last night made me feel sick that he could speak to her and not me.

Damaged you will get through this we are all here to help you and to listen

damaged · May 31, 2008, 12:19 PM

The thing is that I don't want to contact him... I don't want to get back with him because I've realized he's not the one for me.. but I'm still bothered.. I still cry and I just want to stop.. like I said before I think I miss his company.. My friends are always busy and when I ask them to go out or something they tell me they're busy.. I do things by myself.. I go to the gym, the beach, movies.. but sometimes it gets to me.. and when I was with him I always had someone.. he was my friend and I guess that's what I miss the most..

bigbird213 · May 31, 2008, 12:29 PM

Your feelings are normal.

I know that my ex and I could not get back together. It just simply wouldn't work. That doesn't mean that I don't miss her. It doesn't mean It doesn't hurt to think about her being happy with someone else...

All it means is that I cared, and it was real.

damaged · May 31, 2008, 12:39 PM

Yea.. sux missing them.. but at least we know we can truly love huh? :)
It'll get better.. I know that.. even though I hate admiting TIME is the only solution..
Can't wait for that day though!! ;)