Hi,

My boyfriend and I had been together for 3 1/2 years. Things were great for a long time, but over the last year, thing had gotten a little shaky. He brought up the idea of marriage last year and I took the idea and ran with it. He got a little freaked out by that and told me that he had no intentions of getting married until the summer after both of us had graduated college (which would have been next summer). I was OK with that, but I didn't see any reason not to get engaged as soon as we could. He just wasn't ready to do that yet and made it clear it wasn't that he didn't love or want to marry me, he just wanted to be prepared emotionally and financially. I was pushy about getting engaged almost the point that he was going to do it this May. We got into an argument about a week ago and I asked him if he knew that I was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He said he thought so, but was having doubts. This really hurt my feelings and I tried to make him make a yes or no decision. I realize now that I am more than willing to wait, I've just been being really selfish about the whole thing. Unfortunately, it's too little too late, because he broke up with me last week. There's a girl that he's been friends with through college that he thinks he could date and they have been hanging out, but they are both graduating and taking jobs in different states. He's told me on numerous occasions he could never be in a serious relationship with her, but he could potentially date her. He wants to break up because he wants to find out what's really important to him. He's looking for a career as he's graduating next week, and it may mean out of state which I was uncertain about. The thing is I can wait to get married and I am more than willing to move to support him in his job. He still doesn't want to stay together "for now." He's the only one for me - the love of my life and I don't want to lose him forever. Is it too late? If not, what do I need to do?

He doesn't know what he wants, so it's not really worth pursuing. You were obviously very close in your mind but he seems like he was flaky about getting more serious. Unfortunately I don't think he;s worth it and very well might be dating this other girl already.

He's probably just wanting to take a step back to know what he wants. I agree that he might be already dating or at least "talking" to this other girl already. But then again it could just be a true friend to confide in.

It sounds like he's confused and has a lot going on with life now. He has gained a big triumph in his life with graduating college, and trying to find his career goal. I suggest you let him go and to not keep "pushing." If you push too much you might just push him off for good. I know it's hard but as the saying goes, if its meant to be, its meant to be. If its true love it will come back to you.

Take this time to search for your own individuality. You've been with him for 3 1/2 years, and while he's searching for himself, do the same for you too.

Good luck with everything.