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    inging's Avatar
    inging Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 4, 2011, 11:35 AM
    Will I ever get better?
    All threads merged.


    Me and my ex girlfriend of 8 months broke up a month ago. She lied and cheated on me all along she had a boyfriend of 3 years and me in the same time. Thing is I can't forget her, I tried everything even went to her house but all she did was ignored me. I've had enough so I called her boyfriend and told him that she cheated on him with me. Then she texted me with her sis's number and said some really nasty things to me, so I replied something even nastier. Its been a month now since we last talked, basically the number she was using to talk to me while we were dating was a just some spare number. Now she has cut all contact, no numbers, blocked me on MSN. The only way to communicate with her now is Facebook she hasn't block me yet maybe she's scared Im going to post pics of us. Anyway I think of her everyday since we last talk, I can't concentrate my foundation year is about to start and I can't live like this. Should I do anything? Or is there anything I can do it is so painful. Also I did went out with my friends almost everyday for the last few weeks but still I can't forget her even that she hates me so much. I want to suicide its too painful to cope with but I just can't die now.Well she probably can't even remember my name by now, the problem lies within me I no longer exist for her, I'm just jealous at the moment she was the one who lied and cheated and yet she's probably the happiest woman on earth right now.
    adviceishere's Avatar
    adviceishere Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 492
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    #2

    Jan 4, 2011, 11:59 AM
    If she was the happiest woman on earth now she would have never cheated, it's the insecure type that cheat, trust me! If this girl keeps going on the way she does she WILL end up a lonely lonely person, what you need to do is block her from Facebook, tat will be the last of the contact you have with each other, don't do anything silly like post pictures up of her, your in a very bitter faze right now which very understandable! Be there bigger person don't contact her and don't try "get her back" be a good person that will get threw this and learn from it, the hurt your feeling now will show in any new relationship, I bet you wouldn't dare hurt any future girl you get with, because you've felt it. KARMA... this girl hasn't tasted her own mediction.. yet. Please don't retaliate, just leave it, no more contact, the memories will eventually fade, and please no hurting yourself either! Don't be a fool, she is one person, a bad person but she's only one person that's not worth having in YOUR life she doesn't deserve to be in your memories.

    thanks man, I don't know wats wrong with me I mean I trusted her so much Im just jealous that she's happy by the way her boyfriend cheated on her before yt she chose him
    Well then they deserve each other! Of course your going to feel hurt, who wouldn't? You deserve some happiness and there are girls out there that wouldt never cheat, I wouldn't dream of cheating on my boyfriend, make today your new start :)
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Jan 4, 2011, 12:28 PM
    Wait a minute, 'you've had enough' so you called the other guy? WHY, and how does that gibe with 'had enough?' Had enough WHAT? Trying to get some closure by going over to her house and emailing and texting? Had enough being nice, so you were mean to the poor other guy? STOP! For your own integrity. There isn't going to be closure after 3 years of cheating and all this acrimony for 8 months.

    The reason you can't let go is simple: you don't have an answer for why. Find out and be done with it. Either talk with mutual friends or get some help. It may be that she is only happy when she cheats or it may be that you are missing some emotional something she needed. Or both. Find out.
    inging's Avatar
    inging Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 4, 2011, 12:42 PM
    Comment on joypulv's post
    Like I said the other guy doesn't care about her that's y he cheated for a start, if they were really close he would ve noticed on the first week the girl loves him so much.
    inging's Avatar
    inging Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jan 5, 2011, 11:09 AM
    Do I need to see a therapist?
    Im so weak, down and depressed right now I don't know what to do. My ex cheating girlfriend dumped me, it happened a month ago. She lied, dated another guy while dating me (we dated 8 months) she treated me well when we were dating but when she got sick of me I was nth to her.She swore at me, called me extremely nasty things told me to go to h@@@ and leave her alone. The relationship in the worst way possible. We haven't heard from each other in months, she changed everything from number to Facebook. By now I don't think she can even remember my name, yet after all shed done I still think about her 24/7 to the point where everyone around me are sick of me. I feel so pathetic, Im so weak way too weak to have a life. I was drunk for like 2 weeks still nth improve watsoever. My uni's about to start I can't be like this, should I do something?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    Jan 5, 2011, 11:26 AM

    You've been through the wringer emotionally, so yes, meeting with a therapist for at least a few sessions might be just what you need to get yourself into a good feeling about yourself and about uni. There are so many exciting adventures ahead of you! You will be learning new things and meeting new people, making new friends. Talking with a counselor will help you get rid of your feelings of anger and disappointment, and help you learn to trust again.

    Make an appointment, and please post here again. We'd love to hear about how things are improving for you!
    inging's Avatar
    inging Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 5, 2011, 11:37 AM
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    Its been 2 sleepless nights literally. I don't want to take pills especially sleeping pills. You know if id died like yesterday I would no longer suffer this pain
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Jan 5, 2011, 11:58 AM

    Please respond in the Answer box at the bottom of the screen (not in the Comment box). You'll get more room to type, if you need it.

    Why on earth would you be given sleeping pills? Are you against any meds, or just those?

    I personally think you need to vent to someone who will listen carefully and guide you into becoming more productive. Venting constructively will actually be what helps you to sleep.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Jan 5, 2011, 07:38 PM

    Let it go guy, disappear from her life, and get your dignity back. You let this female get to far under your skin, so leave her and her business alone, and get yourself under control, so you can stop acting like a crazy nut job.
    inging's Avatar
    inging Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jan 5, 2011, 10:42 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    That's the hardest part 'to let go'. I think Im already crazy
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #11

    Jan 6, 2011, 07:04 AM
    'Like I said the other guy doesn't care about her that's y he cheated for a start,'
    Nope. You never said either of those 2 things.

    '.. if they were really close he would ve noticed on the first week the girl loves him so much.'
    Stop drawing conclusions about stuff you know nothing about. You weren't there.

    You just don't seem to understand or accept that love isn't rational. So what if he isn't right for her, cheats on her, doesn't notice how much she loves him, or that you are mister wonderful? LOVE ISN'T RATIONAL.
    And stop sidestepping the fact that SHE doesn't want you, not how awful he is.

    There are 6.8 billion people in the world and if half are adults, you can bet that half of them are suffering as you are. Let's say 1 billion at any given moment just to be on the safe side.

    And stop groveling too. Friends after she's married to him (if)? Now really, what are the odds of that?

    The healthy way to get over someone is to be angry. Not in a retaliatory way, but to tell yourself she wasn't good for you.
    inging's Avatar
    inging Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jan 6, 2011, 07:14 AM
    Comment on joypulv's post
    I don't really care about the definition of love, all I want to do is forget her, hate her like she hates me, Forget that she exists like she does to me
    LightCross's Avatar
    LightCross Posts: 87, Reputation: 29
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    #13

    Jan 8, 2011, 10:31 AM
    Man you are walking on bumpy part of your life at this moment , you may grieve, you may feel resentment , depressed and all because it is natural after such a big event like that BUT make sure you GET UP. For the mean time heal yourself, improve yourself, have fun and surround yourself with people who love you and care about you.

    As for the girl who dumped you.. well it is her loss, I don't think she deserves you, you deserve better girl and I know you would be able to find one girl who will respect, love , and commit to you far better than she did.THROW this ex of yours in one box called 'past'.

    And for addition : do not escape into alcohol , drunk or even worse a rebound relationship, for now just focus one one thing which is healing yourself. Go out with your friends , go to gym or whatever anything to get rid of your mind from your ex
    inging's Avatar
    inging Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Feb 27, 2011, 01:10 AM
    Will this haunt me forever?
    I've stated earlier what happened to me and my ex girlfriend. Basically we dated about 8 months, she had someone all along I still can't believe I didn't know about that. She lied to me all along even till the last minute by sending really nasty messages to me and fooled me it was her sister. In the end though she revealed it was her, it was a traumatic breakup. Both of us were swearing at each other heavily, the last thing she said was to never ever want to see me again in this life and even any other life. After the breakup, I went to her house to beg her to come back all she said was piss off so I called her boyfriend whom she cheated on with me for 3 years and told that he was cheated by this girl. I don't know what happened after that but I got a nasty message from her sister(it was her pretending to be her sister). Its been 3 months now since we last talk, she has cut out all contact, phone numbers, Facebook (blocked) and MSN too. I know she probably can't even remember that I exist by now but why do I still miss her so much will this feeling haunt me forever because I can't live with this affecting all aspects of my life.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #15

    Feb 27, 2011, 04:18 AM
    Yes it will haunt you forever, because you don't listen to good advice from several people, and you give negatives when it's tough-love reality.
    adviceishere's Avatar
    adviceishere Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 492
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    #16

    Feb 27, 2011, 01:26 PM
    Yea I rememeber you and your story and a lot of us giving you adivce and I agree with Joypulv...
    inging's Avatar
    inging Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Mar 8, 2011, 06:50 AM
    Should I contact my ex girlfriend
    Threads merged..............again


    She cheated on me all along while we were dating for 8 months. In the end she was the one who hated me, dumped me and cut all contact. Its been 3 solid months since we last heard till today when I drove pass her twin sister and her they didn't see me but they looked really happy. With all that said I still want to remain friends with her so what should I do should I contact her?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #18

    Mar 8, 2011, 07:05 AM

    She cheats throughout your relationship,she dumps you and cuts all contact-so should you get in touch with her now?
    The answer to that question is no.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #19

    Mar 8, 2011, 11:43 AM

    Why would you want to poison your life again? Does that make sense to you? I hope not, so banish that thought, and be glad you have nothing to do with this lying cheater.

    What are you a glutton for punishment? Tell me how you can ever trust someone of this character ever again?
    southamerica's Avatar
    southamerica Posts: 667, Reputation: 400
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    #20

    Mar 8, 2011, 11:45 AM

    ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.

    She is toxic. She was a bad girlfriend and she will be a bad friend. Should you contact her? NO!

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