My boyfriend of two years broke my heart a few weeks ago. He broke up with me. He made love with me twice on Wendesday. On Thursday he broke up with me over the phone. He was very curt with me. Raising his voice but not quiet yelling. I did not argue or ask him to stay. He had broken up with me once before, three months prior to this. When we got back together we spoke of marriage but he never officially asked. He had suggested living together for awhile first. I agreed with this.
I was already looking for a house for me and my nine year old. We talked about getting a three bedroom so his two children would have a room when they visited us. He helped me look at houses . I narrowed my choices down to two and he decided which was best. He would ask questions like: Where are my bookcases going to go? Who's tables to use? etc. Three weeks into escrow he told me that he just felt that it was too much commitment to live together now. I told him that it was okay. I was getting scared also and we could talk about it again in a year or so.
A few weeks later he calls me to say I'm OUT. I tried to give you hints. I guess I have to just come right out and say it. I do not want to get married. I do not want to live together. I do not want a future with you! I was speechless. I asked how long had he been thinking about breaking up this time? He said,(in a raised voice) what does it matter. He told me to just let him go. I said no problem. He had made arrangements for my son,s Xbox 360 to be repaired. It was to be sent back to his address due to our impending move. I asked if he had put it in the mail he said Yes. He told me he would make sure I got everything that belonged to me back. He would not screw me over. He still has many of my sons games at his house.
I went to his place four days later to give him his key. I told him I was sorry for showing up without calling first. I told him that I missed him a hell of a lot. Not the boyfriend so much as I thought I would. But my buddy, I miss so much ( I tapped at my chest twice.) He said you. Then he said, do you want your key back? I said I guess so. I took my key and walked to my car. I turned and said( when some time has past maybe we can be friends) he shook his head yes.
One week later I went into a restaurant to join my large family for a birthday celebration. He was setting across the way at the table that we set at on our first date. He was with his parents and wearing a shirt I had gave to him. His mom hugged me. His dad said I looked pretty. I told him hello. He turned his head towards me with out really looking at me and nooded his head. He then zipped his head right back toward his father. I had to leave I was starting to cry and did not want them to see me like that.
My son stayed with my family. After I left my ex spoke to my son. That night I called him but he did not answer. I left a message that said I was sorry if he was uncomfortable at the restaurant. I was shocked to see them there and I was sure he had been also. I thanked him for speaking to my son. I said that it means a lot to me. I told him that the boy missed him.
Two days ago I called him, He did not answer. I left a message stating that I wanted to speak to him. That it was not about us or getting back together. I said that I did not know if it was a bad idea but I sure needed to talk with my friend. To call me if you want to. He has not called back.
My question is why after being togther for two years, getting along great, only having one argument in all that time and being kind to each other would he not even say hello at the restaurant. I understand he is done with me and chose not want to return my phone call. God, he did not even look at me in the restaurant. Why?

Seems like he is still hurting big time. He is suffering just like you. But maybe the arguement was a big deal to him and he just feels that that is why you two cannot move on. Just try calling him again in a few days asking to speak with him... it's all you can do really. Best Wishes:)

Canada_sweety

The argument about a year ago and he won! Any other suggestions?

If you were not ready to move in with him and thought it would need another year or so, I don't think it was meant to be. Some people marry in the first year, but just moving in was a comfort issue with you guys. I think the best thing you can do is to spare the guy any craziness, you will scare him away FAST and he will no longer deal with you. Let a couple months pass and he will no longer ignore you, if you aren't emotional around him anymore. If you are emotional, he's going to roll his eyes and be done. Grow up and don't put your kid around any of your emotional escapades.

I probably sound like a jerk, but I've seen this crap from girls too much, women are hardly ever sane, the fact that you cried in front of all your family and walked out shows you to be a drama queen in my opinion. There is never a reason to draw so much attention to your drama.

Yeah I know, I'm a jerk, but someone needs to be blunt. Sorry girl, I'm not saying you are a bad person, I'm just saying you need some mental structure/strength.

You are very harsh, I was ready to move in together but a little scared. I said a year so he would not feel pressured because he was not ready. I left the restaurant because I could not hold myself together. I did not want my son, family, his family or him to see me upset. I did not want to scare or upset my son or anyone else. It is not like I sat at the table wailing my head off in front of anyone. I do thank you for the advise to leave him be for a few months. I may well take that advise. You really did not answer the question. It was why won't he even look at me?

There isn't really anything else you can do then texting/calling him and asking him to meet with you. And eventhough the arguement was a year ago, it could still be affecting him...

He sounds like a immature guy. Something else is going on that he doesn't want you to know about it.

Darling, he treated you like nothing. You are not nothing and you deserve someone who will treat you with genuine love and respect. I would recommend backing away from this situation. He has made it clear that he does not want a relationship with you because of that I would step back and not contact him for 60 days and do not take any of his calls. Let your heart heal. Your responsibility is to yourself to make yourself happy and feel good.

He has also shown you that even though he said you could stay friends he has no real interest in maintaining that relationship. Move forward and don't look back. There is someone amazing out there for you who will treat you the way you need to be treated and who will really want to marry you.

Keep your head up. This guy is in idiot for not wanting to be with you let him be sad without someone as amazing as you in his life. Remember that and repeat every time you feel sad it will start to feel better. Worked for me, by the way ;)

Glinda is right...

Run the other way you have a life and you've been okay without him before? Don't beg him anymore he's an a**hole and you shouldn't let him treat you like that. Say you do get back together you'll be too hurt to forget all the pain you're going through now. Forget him and why he doesn't look at you but since you really want to know he doesn't want to get involved with you again therefore looking at you would be too much of a vulnerability for him. Running the risk of feeling for you again. Honestly him being with you that Wednesday and breaking up with you the very next day shows that he knew what was next. He knew it was coming so he took advantage of your love and used you. He's a jerk! Forget him!

He knows how hurt you are and he knows why, and its his fault. Does it make a difference as to what you must do about it??