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    judder14's Avatar
    judder14 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 23, 2012, 06:41 PM
    Why is she ignoring me?
    Ok well this is a long story but bare with me. So there is this girl, let's call her L and she is like my best friend I mean she is almost like one of the boys. But she was going out with one of my best mates who I've been friends with for longer than her, and he went abroad to do some work for 6 months. However they spoke over Skype like every night and maintained a healthy relationship, well until she cheated on him.

    This is where I come in, she told me about the cheating and everything and I didn't tell anyone at all. Then the boyfriend, let's call him D, he came back and L and D weren't as close and normal to each other. So me and D went for a drive and I told him about her cheating and then he confronted her and well they split up. Oh yeah forgot to mention they were with each other for 2 years. Now he has moved on to a different girl and she hasn't yet, but she has said on multiple occasions she is over him.

    So it has been about 3 months since they split and I've been with L pretty much every day and everything, and I've developed feelings for her. I haven't told her because I'm not sure if she feels the same and I don't want to ruin our relationship as friends. But I've noticed lately that she just like ignores my messages for like hours. Now I don't want to sound desperate by saying that but I mean she is normally on her phone like 24/7 she has a blackberry and is always messaging other guys and ****. To be honest it does kill me a bit on the inside when she is like on her phone when you are talking to her, knowing she is talking to other guys.

    But what I want to know is should I just ignore her back? Or have I done something wrong? I forgot to mention I spoke to her about telling D she cheated, and she understood ( which I found weird?! ). But seriously I have no where else to turn and I need help. Thank you
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,321, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Mar 24, 2012, 07:42 AM
    Ignoring is a strong word, but its safe to say she has put you in a different category as she has other guys, and maybe your friendship with her is limited, and not as high a priority as you think, as YOU did compromise her trust, and if it was right or wrong, whether she understands or not, it still put a wedge between you.

    I suggest you back off the texting, and deal with the face to face interactions, and have other things to focus on besides a romance with her at this time. Fact is she loves texting other guys, and is capable of cheating so best understand she may NOT be a good partner for you.

    Sorry guy, despite your feelings, be very thoughtful, and careful of acting on them in the face of her behavior, and treatment. She ain't into JUST you buddy. And I doubt you can completely trust her despite YOUR feelings of attraction for her. But its your risk to take, so know the risk!
    Stellaw's Avatar
    Stellaw Posts: 171, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Mar 25, 2012, 02:53 AM
    I think she likes you too. I mean she knows you a lot, right? So, there's no way she could be mad at you for squealing her to D. She may be secretly liking you by taking the time what to say. If she's messaging other guys then maybe she's falling for one of them that's why she's ignoring you.

    Try messaging her something interesting like how you want to buy her a Victorian locket online that you think would look fantastic around her neck. Women loves jewelry so if that doesn't get her to message you back, I don't know what will.
    grammadidi's Avatar
    grammadidi Posts: 1,182, Reputation: 468
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    #4

    Mar 25, 2012, 10:07 AM
    It really doesn't sound like this gal has strong feelings for you... or anyone else, for that matter. She may be backing off because she realizes you are getting over-involved and that's just not where she's at. I'd follow her cues and back off a bit yourself. If she attempts to become closer after that, then be honest and open with why you have done so. Communication is the most important part of any relationship - friends or otherwise.

    Hugs, Didi

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