Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    julieA294's Avatar
    julieA294 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 14, 2015, 10:30 AM
    Why isn't my boyfriend comfortable around me?
    So me and my boyfriend have never had sex, and this morning we were talking about it and he was like so when we do have sex, what would you like? And I said I would like for you to not be shy.. (he has always been shy and nervous) and he said "well, I will always be, I will never be comfortable in bed with you..." why?? :(
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Dec 14, 2015, 11:18 AM
    Hmmmmm sounds like you two need to do a little more communicating. Did you ask him why he said that? How long have you two been together?
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Dec 14, 2015, 02:34 PM
    Maybe he simply isn't ready for that level of commitment? Some people are just naturally shy. Sometimes they do manage to come out of their shell from time to time, depending on the situation, but it isn't something they can just turn off. Talk some more about it.

    When the time is right for both of you, you may find that you can take the lead; help him to become more comfortable over time. It may never be at the level that you think he should be but that may just be part of his personality. You take the whole package, right? IF, in time, you find that you truly aren't compatible, and it is something that you can't adjust to, then you may have to make some decisions.

    Cross that bridge, if or when you come to it.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #4

    Dec 14, 2015, 07:25 PM
    What are the ages, if he is 14, that is the issue, you are still children and he is not mature enough.

    If he is 20, and never naked with a girl, that could be an issue.

    Also some people are very body shy, they do not like to be seen naked.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,322, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Dec 15, 2015, 06:11 AM
    How old are you both? Age makes a big difference.
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
    Senior Member
     
    #6

    Dec 15, 2015, 06:28 AM
    See if he would be happy to go to bed with you dressed? If so, then ask him if he wants to get undressed. Take it in steps. First though what are your ages? Also find out what he means, when he says he will never be happy in bed with you. If you do not like his answer then it is time to move on.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #7

    Dec 15, 2015, 07:50 AM
    To me, you sound young and naive yourself. I don't mean that in any negative way. It's just that you are online asking a question that only he can answer. We can only guess.
    Remember, the man has to get an erection and maintain it - women don't have to do anything to 'help,' and some do, some don't.
    Many a first time for guys results in a lost erection out of sheer nervousness.
    Many are rightfully worried about pregnancy! Are YOU? Do you know all about it? And about birth control options, and failure rates?

    I like the idea above about 'bundling' - getting in bed with all your clothes on. That's what the Pilgrims and other early Americans let their children get started. They put a 'bundling board' between them in addition. Many got past both the board and the clothes.
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
    Senior Member
     
    #8

    Dec 15, 2015, 11:19 AM
    Joy, once again you are one up on me. Never heard of a "bundling board" before, could be I am not old enough to remember that. LOL But I am pretty old.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
    Expert
     
    #9

    Dec 15, 2015, 03:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post

    I like the idea above about 'bundling' - getting in bed with all your clothes on. That's what the Pilgrims and other early Americans let their children get started. They put a 'bundling board' between them in addition. Many got past both the board and the clothes.
    Give me a BREAK joy, bundling board. Whatever happened to just snuggling. How long has it been for you Joy!

    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post

    I like the idea above about 'bundling' - getting in bed with all your clothes on. That's what the Pilgrims and other early Americans let their children get started. They put a 'bundling board' between them in addition. Many got past both the board and the clothes.
    Give me a BREAK joy, bundling board. Whatever happened to just snuggling. How long has it been for you Joy!
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
    Senior Member
     
    #10

    Dec 15, 2015, 03:33 PM
    You go first tickle.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

How can I feel more comfortable with my boyfriend watching pornography? [ 2 Answers ]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and we really do have a great relationship, I love him with all my heart and more and I know he feels the same but there's one thing that bothers me sooo much and its really starting to upset me and make me feel completely terrible. The fact that...

My boyfriend hurt me, but it isn't like him normally, what should I do? [ 6 Answers ]

My boyfriend and I were at a party and both of us were very very drunk, and just at bed time we started to argue. And then at the end I wanted him to look at me, which he refused to do. So I grabbed him around the face with my hand to try and make him turn to me. He then bit my index finger really...

Feel comfortable around your boyfriend [ 4 Answers ]

I have this thing where I make myself really nervous around my boyfriends. It started when I dated someone years ago and we had no connection and I always felt weird around him (I think it was due to age difference, I was 17 he was 21). After that I had a boyfriend and we were I felt so entirely...

How do I get my boyfriend to be comfortable talking about the future? [ 2 Answers ]

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. He says I'm the first girl he's seen a future with and wants to marry. Whenever I talk about our future, however, he acts weird and gives short answers. I understand that this is new to him, but what can I do to make him more comfortable talking...

I feel more comfortable around someone else, other than my boyfriend [ 3 Answers ]

I'm really worried because I've been with my boyfriend for 2 months now, and it was only after a month I start to feel more comfortable around him as I am a very shy person. What worries me more is that I'm more chilled out and relaxed around other lads I know that are just friends, say at work or...


View more questions Search