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    sarah333's Avatar
    sarah333 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 20, 2009, 09:17 PM
    Why is he treating me this way?
    I am so confused with my ex boyfriends behavior... we were an item for 5 years during wich we had our good and bad times. We decided to break up and it was a joint decision. Ever since he s trying one way or another to get me back and then he just disappears again he just stops calling I just stop hearing from him. Due to that I decided I have to eventually move on and forget all about him. So I started a new relationship with a man I really liked. Of course I told my ex I didn't want him to hear from somebody else and at the start he said he was happy for me and that we weren't suited for each other and that he hopes am happy. We started hanging out as friends and he said after a while that he couldn't do it cause his emotions were too strong he couldn't see me as a friend. He eventually got me were he wanted with showers of flowers gifts and a marvellous weekend away. So I gave in and we got back together. But things got back to the way they were he just became his old self again always angry and verbaly abusive. For a change he apologized and the thing was forgiven and forgotten and now after all this he s put me through he has again stop calling me and texting me. He has stopped giving me any kind of attention and I don't know why and I don't know what to do. Why is he doing this?What should I do?Am just lost...
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Feb 20, 2009, 10:13 PM

    You need to realize you are chasing a carrot on a stick.
    He calls you because he has those sentimental nostalgic moments that he can't get over so he calls you, you get back together for a talk, as friends, trying to work it out, etc... Then you fall back into the same cycle of breaking it off because he sees that things are not 'better'. He (and possibly you) can not change the cycle when you and he haven't figured out what is wrong to fix.
    I keep having the same problem with my old boyfriend. I hate missing him, I call him,
    We spend time together, I see once again why I gave up on him, I tell him forget it, Then he misses me, we get together 'to talk'. He says he is sorry, he was wrong, he has changed, etc... but then he goes and does the same things again. I tell him you can't have changed because you don't even know what it is you need to change.
    So what you need to do is NO Contact because he is coming between you and your life and your future and messing up any chance at a good relationship with somebody that you could have,
    Break the cycle cause he and a relationship with him will never work.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Feb 20, 2009, 10:51 PM

    You left a relationship for and it backfire on you. Sometimes it's best to leave the past in past. He only do what you allow him to do so why do you keep opening yourself to this pain. It's like placing your hand on an open fire, your know your going get burnt.

    This guy is your addiction and addictions are hard to get over but with time and a strong will of power, your be surprise of the outcome.

    So it's time to move past him and let go otherwise your just opening yourself to this unnecessary hurt. He already fooled you twice so don't let him do it again and stop questioning his actions because after all actions speak louder than words.

    Life goes on and there's a floodgate of better guys than this one out there. You don't need him as a friend so don't go down that road again. Time to close this chapter of your life and start the next one.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Feb 21, 2009, 07:54 AM
    How many times are you going to fall for his BS!? He is doing nothing your not letting him do, so stop all contact with him, and his flowers, and keep him out of your life, even as a friend.
    heartbroke's Avatar
    heartbroke Posts: 163, Reputation: 24
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Feb 21, 2009, 01:25 PM

    He toyed with you. You probably hurt him by getting with someone else. It hurt his ego that he "lost" to this guy. He proved to himself that he can still have you at his will by getting you back and made the other guy feel like garbage. He got his closure by hurting you, destroying any relation you had with the other guy and moved on.
    NItEMArE129's Avatar
    NItEMArE129 Posts: 222, Reputation: 29
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Feb 21, 2009, 01:58 PM

    Leopards don't change their spots. He's not going to change either.

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