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    Coopergirl1991's Avatar
    Coopergirl1991 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 24, 2014, 06:18 PM
    Why is he still lying to me about getting married?
    I've been dating this guy for about 4yrs and I found out that he's getting married in two weeks I have legit proof and he still lying to me he try's to shut the whole marriage thing down saying it's not true your mine I love you people always in your ear about you I don't know what to do plus my pregnant
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Apr 24, 2014, 06:26 PM
    What's your legit proof?
    Coopergirl1991's Avatar
    Coopergirl1991 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 24, 2014, 08:33 PM
    His own best friend told me and I found her Facebook by mistake with him and her all over it
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Apr 24, 2014, 08:46 PM
    Then end all contact with him and rebuild your life without him. 4 years is a lot of time to heal from his selfish stupidity. He broke the trust, you break the cycle of contact.

    I know, easier said than done. I wish you luck, but not buying finding her facebook by mistake.
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    Coopergirl1991 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 24, 2014, 08:51 PM
    Easier said then done you know and you can't forget that I'm also pregnant
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Apr 24, 2014, 09:04 PM
    Very sorry I did overlook that. I guess that changes the no contact deal. You must be completely devastated. Got some trusted female or family support around you?
    Coopergirl1991's Avatar
    Coopergirl1991 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 24, 2014, 09:08 PM
    I do have somebody I can trust
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Apr 24, 2014, 09:15 PM
    Then I think you lean on them and let the dust settle for now. When are you due?
    Coopergirl1991's Avatar
    Coopergirl1991 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 24, 2014, 09:16 PM
    October
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Apr 24, 2014, 09:31 PM
    Take some time for yourself without him. As much as you need. Do you know this other woman? Does she know of you?
    Coopergirl1991's Avatar
    Coopergirl1991 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Apr 24, 2014, 09:36 PM
    I don't know her I never seen her before and I doubt if she knows of me
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Apr 24, 2014, 09:55 PM
    Do you think this has been going on for 3,or 4 months or before you became pregnant? If he has been cheating for a while, long enough to talk marriage with her(?), then I can only make the suggestion of being good parents to a healthy baby, and don't even consider tying your future happiness to him.

    I don't think you can forgive or forget anytime soon. What a lowdown thing to find out about. What a lowdown thing to do behind someone's back. Maybe she should know the TRUTH... and he should be the one to tell her... ASAP.
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    Coopergirl1991 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Apr 24, 2014, 10:03 PM
    Your right that's the best thing to do

    An me and him have no future happiness my trust for him is gone
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #14

    Apr 25, 2014, 03:22 AM
    The fact you are pregnant is a moot point now. He is guilty of duplicity, getting married, and how long was this going on without you knowing ? And you still want him around? What good will that do? There are more single moms now then married ones.

    The other woman needs to know 'what' she is marrying. Once a cheater always a cheater.
    Coopergirl1991's Avatar
    Coopergirl1991 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Apr 25, 2014, 06:02 AM
    I don't know how long this was going on. I don't want him around anymore. An yes she will know
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #16

    Apr 27, 2014, 06:45 PM
    It is a guess, but I'm thinking he is trying to convince you he's not getting married, because his fiancé would cancel the wedding. Not him. And it would be a good thing for her to do that.

    If they get married, she looses the opportunity to make a choice, and by you keeping silent, that takes away her choice, and that is not a nice thing to do to another woman.

    She probably doesn't realize that she is not only marrying her fiancé, she is going to be a step mother as well. I think we can safely conclude she wouldn't want this loser either.

    The baby has to come first. That includes child support, and includes him stepping up and helping with raising his child for at least the next 18 years. You may not want him any longer as a boyfriend, but please pursue your legal rights to do the right thing by your child.

    He will be in your life, on way or the other, for many years to come.
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