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    Sabbylynn's Avatar
    Sabbylynn Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 14, 2008, 10:01 AM
    Why Fiancé father dislikes him so much
    Hello everyone, I am a 27 year old mother of four children, Engaged to a wonderful man. I adore his mother and his sister. They are wonderful people. But his dad on the other hand I just can't bring myself to like the man. From when I started dating Al ( he is younger than me) His dad seam to be like a child. He compares himself to his kids. Like he is a teenage again. Me and Al's mom have had many talks about his dad. She has told me things that I would like why would a father think that. It tears my Fiancé up in side that he can't get approval from his father. Its like this every day. His mom is the one that raised him cause when he was little his dad told his mom that he didn't want kids after they were born. He has to compete with Al all the time. Now that I have step into Al's life he is doing good. But in the back of his head he needs that approval from his father that things will be OK. The way his dad treats him is like a child hood friend where you have to out do that person cause you think there better than them. Better clothes, better cars, better girlfriend etc. But yet his dad is 59 and Al is 22. And Al acts older than his own father. :confused: With my four kids he is a better grandpa ( so they say) than he was a father. Recently me and Al had to watch what we been eatting.. do to health I encourage him to eat right and all the all the time when he told his father he Laughed at him and said I TOLD YOU SO I TOLD YOU SO.. Now why in your right mind would say that to your son or daughter if you loved them so much? Al keeps seeing his dad after all the horable things he has did to him. It's like he needs excepted or something by his father. His mother has been the mom and dad for the kids over the years and She has raised a wonderful man. I just wish I could say the same thing for his dad. Why would you act like that towards your own son. Also his sister turned 18 and she was up here at our house cause they live 180 miles away. And his dad was over here and could not even say hi to her or that he loved her or Happy birthday.. WHAT IS WRNG WITH THIS PICTURE??


    :confused: Sabby
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #2

    Nov 14, 2008, 01:14 PM

    Sounds like the problem is your fiance's father, but you will not be able to change him. Sounds like your fiancé might benefit from counseling but he will probably never stop seeking out acceptance from his father, because he has never gotten it.

    Kudos to a 22 year old fiancé working with you to raise your four children.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Nov 14, 2008, 01:46 PM

    The people in his life, for better or for worse, will have to be dealt with... or ignored.
    Sabbylynn's Avatar
    Sabbylynn Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Nov 14, 2008, 03:24 PM
    Thank you. He is a great guy to my kids and I see him with my kids and it breaks my heart cause he is already a great dad to my kids more than his own father to him and my kids own father to them.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #5

    Nov 14, 2008, 03:44 PM

    Than know that this man that treated and continues to treat your fiancé like garbage has taught your fiancé a valuable lesson. Cherish him for that and figure out how you are going to deal with the father in law, he will be in your life as long as you are with your fiancé and if his own children can't help him see the error of his ways, a would be daughter in law won't be able to. Good luck to you.

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