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    creepskill's Avatar
    creepskill Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 5, 2009, 01:57 PM
    Why do i get so attached to a girl so early?
    So I recently just broke up with my girlfriend of a year, and a friend of mine has parties at his house and whatnot and meet random people there all the time, this one girl that I knew from his house we were all playing cards around a table a few nights ago and I asked her to go out for a ciggarette and we ended up talking for a while and she opened up to me a little bit which was kind of unexpected but it was a relief to be talking to a civil good girl, so by the nights end I had kissed her and got her number to hang out and the next say I texted her back and forth throughout the day and I went to a hockey game with her later that night, we enddd with a up leaving, going to the bar for an hour and then having a bonfire few people, we were the only two left by nights end and on the ride home we ended up making up and fondling a bit, so I told her id call her tomorrow to hang out, but when I did call her to see what her plans were she said she was going up to her best friends college to see her with one of my good friends, and like a wave of depression kind of hit me and makes me kind of nervous that I found a nice girl for once and it feels kind of like an empty feeling I know its only been a couple of days but this happens to me every time I meet a girl. I feel like protective almost and have a feeling that I lose something, an emptyness. I don't know why I get so attatched early into things like this, can anyone steer me in the direction of what's going on?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Dec 5, 2009, 03:22 PM
    If you just recently broke up with your ex you should heal from the breakup not try to jump into a rebound.
    Socialize,meet new people and make new friends,and when you're really over your ex you'll be ready to start dating again.
    creepskill's Avatar
    creepskill Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 5, 2009, 08:25 PM

    I am over my ex I have been for a while before I decided to end it, I just get like depressed/jealous with the situation of the other girl
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #4

    Dec 5, 2009, 08:44 PM

    So, if you're over her, then why did you add it to your question here? If you were over her, wouldn't a recent break up be irrelevant?
    Fixer12's Avatar
    Fixer12 Posts: 180, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Dec 5, 2009, 09:04 PM

    Either way you need to calm down and take things as they come. It is hard to wait things out and see what happens, but in the end that is all you can really do. Hope for the best and be the best guy you can be. If she likes you for that, then awesome! If not then... well it was probably for the best.
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
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    #6

    Dec 6, 2009, 12:47 AM

    I think you are needing a girlfriend, instead of just relaxing with life. It is a problem with a lot of people, the "need" of a bf/gf, and it does give a lot of problems, such as neediness and clinginess. I think you need to build your own interesting life, with friends, family and activities so that you don't feel "too attached" to this new person, since you have so many more things in your life to look forward to, if all this does make sense.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #7

    Dec 6, 2009, 02:31 AM
    Please correct me if I'm wrong... the reason you get attached so quickly is because your insecure and have low self esteem.. not an easy thing to admit,but it happens to us all... when your with the new girl,you feel connected with someone,and you feel happy.. yes ? No ?

    The trick is to be happy on your own.paxe made an excellent suggestion,get out there and make friends,get busy doing your own thing..

    The only person you should rely on to make you feel happy and secure is YOU... a relationship should be a bonus in your life,to compliment your life.. the relationship should not be your life!
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #8

    Dec 6, 2009, 06:41 AM

    You do realize that you will ruin all chances of being with this girl if you don't back off a little?

    Sometimes we jump in with both feet, full force. This is not a swimming pool. Start with a toe, then a foot, then slowly walk down the steps into the water.

    If you jump in all at once, you might get burned, or freeze.

    This is not a race.

    Find out more about this girl, slowly.

    Don't scare her off seeming too needy.

    Go get to know yourself first. Read some self help books.

    Good luck.

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