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    Jason8676's Avatar
    Jason8676 Posts: 102, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Nov 5, 2008, 08:32 PM
    Why Do I Feel Like I Am Back To Square One?
    Hey,
    I was wondering if this situation has happened to anybody else. Me and my ex have been No Contact for nearly 6 months now. She has(or at least I believe) tried to contact me on the phone several times via a "Private" or "Unavailable" number. Back on August 24 she called twice from an "Unavailable" number after 9:00 P.M. leaving a silly message after the second time. This is why I suspect it is her when I receive these calls. The last one came on October 16 at about 10:50 P.M. while I was at work-no message was left. To cut to the chase-I have totally dropped off the radar where she is concerned-I refuse to go anywhere near her place of work or neighborhood, I refuse to call, and I refuse to write. I am trying to put her behind me-I just can't forget about her totally. We knew each other for over 10 years, I loved her so much that at one point proposed to her and gave her a ring, had a daughter with her who unfortunately passed away at 11 months, and experienced good times and bad times with her.
    Last week my grandmother passed away. After the funeral, my family met over at my sister's for dinner. During that time, the subject of my ex came up. My brother-in-law told me that he saw her where she works a day or two before the funeral. He spoke to her out of courtesy but he said that she just gave him a "deer in the headlight" look-maybe like she was caught off guard. When he told me this, I felt like I had relapsed. I was asking him all sorts of questions about what he saw. This set me back for a few days while trying to recover from the loss of my grandmother. Today, while driving home from the barber shop, I see my ex's mother in the rear view mirror. I don't know if she noticed me but I definitely noticed her. Again, this dampened my spirits for the rest of the day. Anytime I see a car resembling my ex's, it totally ruins my day. I start wondering about what she's doing, where she's going, or where she has been. I am sick and tired of feeling this way. I would just rather never see her again if I can't have her the way it used to be before she left.
    Has anybody felt like this when you hear about your ex, see your ex accidentally, or see their family by chance? This is driving me totally nuts-I was just wondering if anybody had some similar experiences. Take care...
    Jason
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Nov 5, 2008, 09:04 PM

    Its totally normal my friend.
    Well all get set backs.
    At leat you have not made contact with her good for you

    And 6 months isn't really that long to heal. It will take more time..
    You just have to keep moving ahead and keep thinking I'm doing this for my own good
    And you will get there.

    Of coure we like to hear about our xs are they happy are they sat. have they gotten ugly! ;)
    Its normal
    And your grandmother passing has probable made all this feel so much more than it really is.

    When you have a weekend off. Go out and do something Fun!
    Something that you have not done in ages.

    All the best man
    BlackVY's Avatar
    BlackVY Posts: 823, Reputation: 154
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Nov 5, 2008, 09:13 PM

    Yeah... this kind of sounds like a situation I had with an ex ages ago... and I guess she felt the same way too. While I was with her, it was weird, but she'd mention that if we ever broke up, she'd have a hard time forgetting about me, because the old car I used to drive while I was with her was a very popular car here, and she'd see it all the time, so she'd think about me. Needless to say, we did break up eventually, thus the ex part, and I changed my car, so all good there, but I used to still think about her, because I was in uni and had uni friends living very close to her suburb, and when I'd drive them home, I'd feel like you feel, wonder about her and what she is doing and stuff.

    To make matters worse, her sister works in the city with me, not in the same company, but near where I work, so from time to time I see her sister, and she gives me one of those evil looks. I have my RayBans on, so she can't tell I'm looking at her, but I used to get that weird feeling you get right now.

    Let me just day that this does pass, and though it may not seem like it now, you will be fine one day. You will find someone else who will take your mind off this. Yes it will take time, but it'll happen, and she will move on from this too. Just take it easy, one day at a time, and try to keep yourself occupied to stop your mind from thinking too much.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Nov 6, 2008, 11:49 AM

    Your normal, and your feelings are honest. It gets better.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Feb 23, 2009, 12:35 PM

    Tal's right, everything you are experiencing is completely normal, this will pass just like the initial shock of NC and the break up did.

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