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lisa71 · Sep 25, 2010, 03:34 PM

I came out of an absusive relationship about 9 months ago and a month later met a lovely guy whose dad used to work with my dad - I wasn't looking it just happened! Anyway we had a lovely 6 month relationship, he worshipped me, lavished money & gifts on me and my children. The sex side of things wasn't great and emotionally he wasn't easy to get close to - I kept explaining I wanted him not his money but he still kept spoiling us all. We spoke about our future together and began planning. I was very happy and the kids adored him, though my youngest is a difficult child and this put a strain on us both. To cut a long story short he changed about a month ago - became distant and spent less and less time with me - the 'I love you's' dried up, I backed off and he kept moaning I wasn't paying him enuf attention!! Anyway he stood me up one night and wouldn't talk things through so I dumped him - he wasn't bothered and it hurt like hell but I got on with it. I put 100% in and got kicked in the teeth. Why say all those things to me if he didn't mean them? I don't get it? He text the other day to see how I am and to ask for no strings attached sex. I am hurt and let down by this man, I have nowt but bad luck - all I want is a decent loving man! Am I too nice? Or two stoopid? Help!!

Enigma1999 · Sep 25, 2010, 03:41 PM

Hello Lisa,

No you you are not too nice or stupid. You are human. These things happen.

For him to text you asking for no strings sex, means tha he doesn't care about your feelings.

At first when I was reading your post, I thought, well I could suggest them going to counselling or haing a heart to heart, but then I read the no strings sex and thought, what a tool. Forget about him. You can and WILL do better.

I know it may seem as if you will never find the right man, but you will. Some times it takes a few bad ones to get a really good one.

Stay sweet and the right one will come. For now use this down time to focus on YOU and your children.

Remember you don't need a man to complete you.

Good Luck.

Shadowburn · Sep 25, 2010, 04:11 PM

The gall - to text and to ask for no strings attached sex! Maybe you could tell him what you told us - that you faked everything and he is not that great as he thinks.

Hang in there, you did the right thing by breaking off with him. You and your kids deserve better than that. Sometimes relationships don't work out for no particular reason... and it seems as he had some emotional and communication issues as well.

It will get better. Good luck.

Enigma1999 · Sep 25, 2010, 07:13 PM

He clearly just wants her for sex and nothing else. I don't think that she should give him another chance. She fell for him, and he doesn't seem to care. No, she shouldn't waste her time on him.

talaniman · Sep 26, 2010, 11:58 AM

You did a great thing by dumping a guy who was trying to buy his way into your pants.

Now if you could just stop being so eager in love and go slower, you may not get so hurt with your next opportunity to date.

Too much, too fast, crash and burn.

Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.

Why did he treat me this way?

Because he could, and honestly you ate it up, and let him. Sorry but given your last break up, you were vulnerable for a rebound relationship.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...oo-420561.html

Homegirl 50 · Sep 26, 2010, 12:16 PM

The guy is creep. He saw a vulnerable woman and went after you. He had some fun and sex. That is all he wanted anyway.

Leave him to the scum on the street. Don't jump so fast into another relationship and don't expose your kids so quickly to someone you don't really know yourself.