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    anybodyfamous's Avatar
    anybodyfamous Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 1, 2013, 05:42 PM
    Why did my friend with benefits call to say goodnight?
    Why did my friend with benefits call to say goodnight?

    So I have a "friend" who is a guy... and we've been having sex (please I'm not here to be judged!) we've never defined our relationship that is we never really agreed to only sex. But when we met he had a girlfriend, and the minute he broke up with her, he wanted to have me... we've flirted a little and stuff... but really, it's just sex. I don't really know him all that well. We're not exclusive, but a couple nights ago he called to say goodnight. Just to say goodnight with "sweet dreams". Not even a little flirting. I've been asking him since if he likes me like THAT, and he always gives a very nondescript, vague answer, or changes the subject entirely. I know it's totally overreacting, and it's not that I really care, yet. I just thought I'd ask in case this type of occurrence happens again or if it meant anything at all. So do you think he's just lonely? Or maybe likes me?
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #2

    May 1, 2013, 06:10 PM
    Not a man but, I think you can assume he likes you. The hazard of these "just sex" friends with benefits relationships is that almost always, one or the other wants it to develop into a relationship.

    Or maybe he's happy with how things are but is emotionally, as well as sexually, lonely. How about asking him where he's at, how he's feeling about your relationship?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #3

    May 1, 2013, 06:24 PM
    Maybe he was lonely, but why don't you might try asking him.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    May 1, 2013, 06:30 PM
    You are in a friends with benefits situation that you would like to be more. If you want to know what he thinks, ask him.

    This is my problem with these relationships - one or the other party always wants more.

    Did he have a girlfriend when the friends with benefits relationship started? I'm not sure what you are saying.

    Unforunately you cannot dictate who will answer your questions and whether you will be judged. Women who have been in similar circumstances very well may answer.
    anybodyfamous's Avatar
    anybodyfamous Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 1, 2013, 06:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    You are in a friends with benefits situation that you would like to be more. If you want to know what he thinks, ask him.

    This is my problem with these relationships - one or the other party always wants more.

    Did he have a girlfriend when the friends with benefits relationship started? I'm not sure what you are saying.

    Unforunately you cannot dictate who will answer your questions and whether or not you will be judged. Women who have been in similar circumstances very well may answer.
    He did have a girlfreind the first time we slept together. But like I said, it's never been defined. You can't say " these kind of relationships " when neither of us even know what kind of a relationship it is.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #6

    May 2, 2013, 06:43 AM
    Why would we judge, heck, there are all kinds of relationships these days that fit one's lifestyle. Sounds like he missed you! So, next time you see him, work this into your conversation to clear the air. What do you want from this, is a good question?
    smkanand's Avatar
    smkanand Posts: 602, Reputation: 56
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    #7

    May 2, 2013, 07:24 AM
    Don't know why he said that. May be he missed you. It seems you like him.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    May 2, 2013, 07:26 AM
    A friends with benefit is fairly calm to things we get on here. But it may be he was lonely that night, needed to hear a voice. Perhaps he started to ask to come over for sex but changed his mind. It could be 100 things, only he knows why he called.

    My personal guess, he was just lonely, maybe something else did not work out, but he needed to or wanted to hear from you
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    May 2, 2013, 08:26 AM
    I think its common for a guy to be nice to his FWB just to keep the pot hot for his next visit.

    Its called checking your traps. To make sure they are still working and haven't been poached, and still available. Doubt if you were the only call he made but that depends on how many traps he has to check.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    May 2, 2013, 08:30 AM
    You beat me to it! Yes. It appears the game might be changing for the OP. He needs to insure that his booty call remains available and if that takes an extra phone call now and then, so be it.
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