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    aseika's Avatar
    aseika Posts: 37, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jan 4, 2011, 02:06 PM
    Why did my ex of 6 months buy me a xmas present out of the blue?
    Just wondering,he broke up with me. We hang out and cuddle sometimes but I don't think he wants a relationship. I didn't get him anything. He's 27
    Young_Naive's Avatar
    Young_Naive Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Jan 4, 2011, 02:11 PM
    Have you brought it up about giving things another go? You say u only think he doesn't want a rship?!
    aseika's Avatar
    aseika Posts: 37, Reputation: 4
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    #3

    Jan 4, 2011, 02:53 PM
    Not yet... I guess I'm being a little bit of a wuss, I kind of thought he would ask me seeing as he broke up with me. I really want to though. We broke up because he felt it wasn't working, but we still really love each other. Well, I do! :)
    Young_Naive's Avatar
    Young_Naive Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Jan 4, 2011, 03:38 PM
    You should bring it up in an indirect way... like ask does he ever wonder where'd ye be now if things hadn't ended back then?. or does he ever regret breaking up with u? You might be surprised at how he lets out his feelings. Guys always need a push they won't come out with it in general conversations. That's how I found out my ex still has serious feelings for me after 2.5yrs?. if you love him you'll ask him. Stop tormenting yourself!
    aseika's Avatar
    aseika Posts: 37, Reputation: 4
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    #5

    Jan 5, 2011, 11:15 AM
    Interesting! Thanks! How did that happen with you guys? Did u get back together?

    I'l also try the indirect thing, but I get so put off bcoz he sends a lot of mixed signals... sometimes he acts like he's over it and other times he doesn't. Hmmm
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #6

    Jan 5, 2011, 12:12 PM

    Don't play games. Talk to him. You both need to either fully let go or work through the past issues that caused the break up. You deserve to know where you stand in his life to be able to make your own decisions about your own life (though, personally, I wouldn't be hanging out with him and 'cuddling' with him after he told me it wouldn't work out. I would be concerned that he is 'working something out' with other women while I try to figure out what he wants.)

    Ask him why he got you a present. Explain why it surprised you. It may have been an after thought or a left-over gift. It may be that he wants to make certain that you stay where he put you on the shelf instead of finding a man who is willing to communicate and build a relationship with you. He may be wanting to try again but is afraid to bring it up. Only he knows.

    End the confusion by being straight forward with him. It may end up hurting, but better to know now than later when he does have a new girlfriend and still expects a 'cuddle' every now and then.

    Good luck.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,250, Reputation: 10853
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    #7

    Jan 5, 2011, 05:27 PM

    Talaniman Rule-No Honest communications- No healthy relationship.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #8

    Jan 5, 2011, 05:43 PM
    Breaking up doesn't usually involve cuddling.

    Unless one person (or both) is using the security of the known to pass the time... until someone better comes along.

    So... you can love someone you can't be with. Happens all the time.
    aseika's Avatar
    aseika Posts: 37, Reputation: 4
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    #9

    Jan 9, 2011, 04:14 AM
    Its OK, no conversation necessary. I found him kissing some young girl in the club last night, he called me at 1.30 to see where I was and at 1:45 he was kissing her. Im totally serious. I texted him and told him to f*** off forever. He called me screaming down the phone that we weren't going out anymore. I asked him why the hell was he still cuddling me, why did he kiss me on xmas eve, he said it was all friendly!! I replied that I don't kiss/cuddle my friends and to leave my stuff with my friend.

    Thanks for all your help anyway guys! X
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #10

    Jan 9, 2011, 07:52 AM

    I am sorry you found out that way. I hope this allows you to finally heal and move on.

    Good luck.
    aseika's Avatar
    aseika Posts: 37, Reputation: 4
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    #11

    Jul 7, 2011, 11:29 AM
    Still feeling somewhat broken hearted about ex of 1 year, is this normal?
    Threads merged.



    We have no contact. I don't know, I feel like I'm losing my mind! I have a date later tonight and Im still thinking about him and I feel so low. Maybe I'm not ready? Any motivational got-over-my-broken-heart stories would be really encouraging! Thank you!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #12

    Jul 7, 2011, 01:29 PM

    Somewhat broken hearted might be OK,for a while-though why allow yourself to stay ''somewhat'' stuck in the past?

    Go out and enjoy meeting new people and making more friends-a date is just a way to connect with someone in order to find out if you want to get to know each other or not.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,250, Reputation: 10853
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    #13

    Jul 7, 2011, 01:33 PM

    Yes its normal to be down because of past hurts and disappointments, so have some fun tonight, and every other night you can handle.

    I get depressed when the party is over, but perk up in time for the next one. NORMAL!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #14

    Jul 7, 2011, 02:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Yes its normal to be down because of past hurts and disappointments, so have some fun tonight, and every other night you can handle.

    I get depressed when the party is over, but perk up in time for the next one. NORMAL!
    Exactly!
    aseika's Avatar
    aseika Posts: 37, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Jul 19, 2011, 01:19 PM
    :) thanks. He bottled it on me at exactly the time he was meant to pick me up, and what was worse was that I didn't even care! And it made me miss my ex even more.But I'm trying! This is hard but I know it'll be worth it. Thank youuuuuu!x
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #16

    Jul 19, 2011, 11:11 PM

    Take care and good luck!

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