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    Sarah45's Avatar
    Sarah45 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 15, 2011, 08:01 AM
    Why am I so paranoid?
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly a year. When we were just starting to get to know each other. I found that he had been looking at naked women on the Internet. He always said to me that he prefers natural women and not plastic slutty girls. But I found pictures of naked women that looked exactly how he described he didn't like. I spoke with him about this and he said it meant nothing he didn't do anything he was just bored and he won't do it again. Since this we have moved in together and he hasn't don't anything like this. We have regular sex and for fill each others needs. But we started to argue regularly and this drawing us apart and not having so much sex due to his stress at work and all the arguing. My paranoia about him
    Looking at other women online became a but issue I would worry about it constantly. As we weren't as close as we had been. And one night after a massive argument I came upstairs and found him on porn. He immediately apologised and said that it meant nothing and that he only did it to make me angry because of the arguing. He had promised over and over that he didn't want anything like that as we were so close and had such a good sex life. I know he doesn't look at anything like that now as we are not arguing and have sorted our problems out. But I am so worried all the time that he may be looking at something online or on his phone that it is taking over me. I get so worried. The other day he was hiding his phone and refusing to let me see anything on it. Totally not like him. And after the biggest argument we have ever had he chucked his phone at me and what he was looking at was engagement rings. And just didn't want me to see. To put it bluntly, I feel like a complete *** hole. How can I stop this worrying taking over everything in my life?
    Chocodrip07's Avatar
    Chocodrip07 Posts: 56, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Oct 15, 2011, 10:33 AM
    All men like to look at porn now and then, you should be worried only if he becomes addicted to it. Apologise to him and tell him that you will trust him. Never go to bed angry. And whenever there's an argument don't allow it to escalate.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 15, 2011, 03:12 PM
    The bigger questions are, why do YOU feel threatened by IMAGES?

    Why you let them control your thoughts, actions, and words?

    Or are you afraid of be not good enough?

    Or being left by him?

    What are you really afraid of??
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Oct 16, 2011, 11:17 PM
    Hes spending more time with porn & not you. You need to nip this in the bud.

    "he was just bored and he won't do it again"
    Yeah, right.

    "The other day he was hiding his phone and refusing to let me see anything on it."

    Engagement rings?
    C'mon,

    "When we were just starting to get to know each other. I found that he had been looking at naked women on the Internet"
    Sounds like nothings changed.

    You with the wrong guy.
    Let him surf. You check your head.

    Healthy couples don't hide anything.
    Trust each other.

    Like Tal said.
    What are you afraid of?

    Making a mistake in judgement?
    Who to be with & why?

    Is he what you really want? Worth your effort?
    That's up to you. He has to prove it if so.

    And you have to decide what makes you happy.

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