Hi I've been dating this guy for 4 years and 3 months we loved each other very much, we always used to tell each other and sex was great but recently we have been arguing about the same thing, now everything has changed and we have broken up, first he said we need a break, I said well if we go on a break we won't get back together, he said well he needs some time to himself to see whether he likes being by himself and it's a risk I have to take, well a couple of days later he phones me and finishes it, he claims he doesn't love me and he was in tears when I went round to give him his stuff back the next day and he was in bits but he recently brought me a teddy for xmas saying with his voice inside I love danielle, and said it to my face I don't get how you can fall out of love with someone like that if he thinks I'm great and pretty and everything, well I went round the next day (today) to see him to say I'm not ready to give up on us and asked him why he wants to give up on what we had because I know deep down he loves but he couldn't answer any questions and told me to go home and leave him and basically showed me the door, wouldn't speak to me and kept smirking and laughing, what's going on I'm really confused? He won't answer any of my questions! I love him so much I don't want to let go, but I am giving him space for the next few days to see if he contacts me but is this really over? And why is he being so horrible towards me after everything we have been through? And why won't he speak to me, please someone help me

Kind of sounds like he may be trying to keep you on the back burner while he pursues another relationship.

Serious question - Does he do drugs? I've seen that behavior in people who do drugs where there personality goes from one extreme to another.

If not I'd say that he's trying to hook up with someone else and perhaps she's playing with his emotions and in return he is doing back to you.

He can't stay with you, but feels guilty for breaking up with you. I know it probably isn't any consolation, but the dumper has it just as hard as the dumpee.

<<well I went round the next day (today) to see him to say I'm not ready to give up on us and asked him why he wants to give up on what we had because I know deep down he loves but he couldn't answer any questions and told me to go home and leave him and basically showed me the door, wouldn't speak to me and kept smirking and laughing, what's going on I'm really confused? He won't answer any of my questions!>>>

The smirking and laughing, and coldness is just a reaction to the guilt they feel breaking up with you andc their confusion... My ex did the same last year , he kept making jokes about the whole thing.

<<but recently we have been arguing about the same thing

What have you been arguing about?


<<but is this really over? And why is he being so horrible towards me after everything we have been through? And why won't he speak to me, please someone help me
>>
For now I recommend you stop asking questions, this is essential. Give him the space he needs DO NOT CONTACT HIM . When he contacts you be busy do not go running to him, when you see him do not ask ANY question, show him a girl who is happy with her life alone and that will probably start him wondering!

He sounds bipolar! Or better yet, do you think his boys are playing a role in this? If he wants his time, give it to him. You can't fall out of love with someone that fast, but you can be unattracted to them (not only physically, but mentally because of all the fights). You're both unhappy about your relationship and how it turned out. Stay strong, do things to keep your mind off him! Go out with your girlfriends and meet new people. Once he sees that you're not thinking about him day and night, he'll wonder what you're doing and will start calling you up. Make him miss you, make him jealous that you're having all this fun without him!! You never know what you've lost until you've lost it! He's indecisive and you don't need that in your life! You what someone who knows what they want, you want someone to want you! To love you! Enjoy the freedom!!

I know its hard given all the time between you, but you must accept that this relationship is over and move on. Your right not to contact him, but sitting around waiting for him to see the error of his ways is a fools dream and will do more harm than good. Instead I suggest you try to build a life that you enjoy with out him and do the things you never had time to do. Its time to move on and get healthy.