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    missin_him's Avatar
    missin_him Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 28, 2007, 02:59 AM
    Who do I believe him or friends girlfriend?
    I was seeing this guy but the other day his friends girlfriend told me that he has a girlfriend besides me.
    I asked him but he said no and ever since then I haven't heard from him.
    What should I do? Should I believe him or the friends girlfriend?
    I miss him so so much I can't stop thinking about him. I don't want to see him with any other girl.
    PLEASE I NEED HELP OR ADVICE IM SICK N TIRED OF GETTING HURT
    Carebear99's Avatar
    Carebear99 Posts: 42, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Dec 28, 2007, 03:08 AM
    I'd say believe your friends girlfriend for now... I went through the same situation and in the end he did have another girlfriend on the side... Don't confront him for a little while until you have hardcore evidence.. then confront him. Just pay more attention to him at all times... until you do think he has another girlfriend. And don't be hurt about it... if its true... move on, you're worth more than that. You deserve the world. Not a cheating boyfriend. At the end of the day He's just a dot in this city, which is a tiny dot in this country which is a tiny dot on this planet which is just a tiny dot in the whole universe.
    lavenderly's Avatar
    lavenderly Posts: 88, Reputation: 23
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Dec 28, 2007, 12:32 PM
    My heart goes out to u...

    I was in the exact situation. I agree with Carebear99 that you have to believe his friends' girlfriends for now. In my situation, I chose to ignore it and it took me 8 full months to realize he truly has a girlfriend before he knew me.

    Imagine the damage he did to my heart. For so long I thought I was his "one and only". It was due to his own conscience that he admitted to me. But what if the guy you like intends to string you all along?

    If you are really sick and tired of getting hurt, like what you said... then just drop this guy as soon as you could.
    P.S. He might initiate contact with you again. A man who double-times feels no guilt to wasting two women's time. Let it NOT be you. With a man who has double personality and background (one with you and one with his friends), do not welcome aches and pains to your poor heart again.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Dec 28, 2007, 12:46 PM
    y'know, as a guy... I have to disagree.

    I have NEVER NEVER NEVER cheated on my girlfriends, but once, a friend of mine told my girlfriend that I had cheated on her... my girlfriend then got mad at me (in which, I had no idea why... ) and she broke up with me (without telling me why).

    ... my friend did this to get with me. Of course, I found out. Then I didn't really like my friend anymore.

    But yeah. Be careful. Women. Scary.

    I do agree with the above posts in saying that... look for actual evidence.

    Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst.
    peggyhill's Avatar
    peggyhill Posts: 907, Reputation: 150
    Senior Member
     
    #5

    Dec 28, 2007, 01:24 PM
    Hmmm. That's a tough one. Normally, I would say don't jump to conclusions right away, but... it seems strange that he cut off contact with you after you questioned him. How long has it been since you have seen him?

    It could be that this girl is making this up. Does she have any motivation to do so? Like a history of not liking you or being angry at your boyfriend about something?

    How long have you been seeing this guy? Does he do anything that seems suspicious to you? How has he treated you in the past?

    Not to jump to conclusions, but it sounds like something is up with this guy. The fact he hasn't contacted you since you asked says a lot. I would write him off for now. Don't go looking for him or contact him. That will put him in control of the situation and make you look desperate to him.

    Do your own thing, just try to stay busy and don't call him even if you think it's going to kill you. If he does come around and explain ( or makes a lame attempt to), then you will have to decide if you can live with not trusting him. I think you are better off without him, personally.

    Life is to short to waste time on someone who is dishonest. As time goes by, you will start to feel better and the pain will go away. Until then, at least you will know that you are doing the right thing for you, even if it hurts.
    mafiaangel180's Avatar
    mafiaangel180 Posts: 629, Reputation: 103
    Senior Member
     
    #6

    Dec 28, 2007, 01:30 PM
    Words are an easy thing to doubt. I would suggest going by actions, and I think it's pretty shady that he hasn't contacted you since you asked him about all of this. But, he could have his reasons for being away right now... you won't know until you talk to him. Either way, I wouldn't be having unprotected sex with him anytime soon. Heh.
    EuRa's Avatar
    EuRa Posts: 315, Reputation: 64
    Full Member
     
    #7

    Dec 28, 2007, 03:59 PM
    The only thing that makes me suspicious is that he hasn't contacted you since. If I really wasn't seeing another girl, I would take you straight to the girl that said this lie and would make her take it back and apologize.

    The fact that guy did denied it, then disappeared, is highly suspicious. A relationship without trust isn't much of a relationship at all. I would call him and leave him a message, ask for space, and wait to see what happens.
    allswell's Avatar
    allswell Posts: 23, Reputation: 16
    New Member
     
    #8

    Dec 28, 2007, 06:47 PM
    I am not sure how long you were seeing each other, but if I were you, I'd nip this in the bud and cut my losses. No good can come of this. It doesn't really matter whom you believe--you confronted him like an adult, and he responded by giving you the silent treatment. That, in my opinion, speaks volumes. Is this how he will solve any potential future problem? By disappearing? I don't know what kind of relationship you expect with this guy, but an emotionally mature one at this point in time doesn't seem possible.
    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,099, Reputation: 236
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Dec 28, 2007, 10:24 PM
    I'm not certain what "drop him" means, but No Contact is a winner.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #10

    Dec 30, 2007, 11:10 AM
    Actions speak for themselves as he may have denied the cheating but isn't around for any questions. If that's the way he deals with your feelings then your better without him. I think he is cheating.

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