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    Whereslove's Avatar
    Whereslove Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 20, 2009, 10:45 PM
    Where is love?
    Hello, I have a problem and I was wondering if you guys could help me. I am a 21 year old guy attending university. I have been waiting patiently for love to come around for me but yet it is nowhere to be found.

    People say that it will appear when you least expect it but I however have not met the right girl yet and to be honest I have been pretty down about it. When I look at all my old friends, they are with someone and it is awkward hanging out with them now because ill be the only one left out.

    I feel as if I am a little too old for finding someone now since pretty much everyone I know is already taken, including all my friends. There were a few times when I thought I have found the right one but turns out they weren't. Anyway I try not to think of it as much and do the things I love but sometimes I feel lonely. Any advice? Thanks!
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Dec 20, 2009, 11:57 PM

    21 is no where near too old to find love. I don't know that any age is ever too old. Sounds like it's time for you to branch out and start meeting more people.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Dec 21, 2009, 02:20 AM
    You will meet someone so don't worry about being too old-you're not! If you feel lonely try to make new friends and meet more people,and relax and enjoy life.
    Good luck.
    sandalwood7's Avatar
    sandalwood7 Posts: 129, Reputation: 25
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Dec 21, 2009, 02:24 AM
    I believe that finding love takes a certain number of things, partly luck and partly effort.

    Luck factors:
    -meeting someone who has a compatible sense of humor, desires, values, intellect, spiritual/religious beliefs
    -meeting someone who is attracted to you
    -meeting that person at the right time (right age, single, ability to form a relationship IE emotionally ready)

    Effort factors:
    -talking to people and meeting people
    -being open to conversation with new people in new situations
    -asking girls out (not in a threatening way, but in a friends lets see what happens kind of way)

    You can't change the luck, but you can change the effort part.

    try breaking out of your circle of friends... join a club or find a new interest? This is a good way to meet people.

    You really never know when that person might come along, so be open to meeting new people for that reason.

    As one of my boyfriends once said (you can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket!): so you need to make the effort to let someone know how you feel if you like them. It is a very liberating thing to do, but requires a lot of courage. Rejection is something we all experience at some point in our lives but it is not that scary when you realize what things you do have (friends, family, pets, your own qualities etc). And alternatively, the girl might actually say yes!

    It sounds like you feel really low about this particular issue. Try to realize that life is a journey (a tried and true cliché I know I have used before) and try to enjoy the ride. Take the pressure off yourself. You are very young still and have all the chance in the world that you WILL meet someone you like eventually. It can be lonely to not have a girlfriend or partner, but it is also important that we remember the things we do have. IE friends etc. Nobody else holds the key to our happiness more than we do and we could all be a little more self-sufficient. Couples are not necessarily happier than you are. Don't compare yourself to others and don't be hard on yourself.

    Hang in there and be patient.

    let us know how you get on...

    By the way, is there a someone in your life that you know and like as more than a friend?
    Whereslove's Avatar
    Whereslove Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Dec 21, 2009, 11:29 AM

    Hey guys thanks for answering, I have had many good friend but it seems like I always drifted away from them, now I just got a couple of friends and I feel lonely at times.

    I don't have anyone I would like more than a friend.

    At first I think I was the social type but the more friends I got the more irritated I've become with them, perhaps its just that I don't get along with their personality or its just me I'm not sure.

    Anyway but yup I have been looking for a relationship for a while now and trying to get back into the dating scene but still no luck in finding the right person. Im starting to fear that ill never find the right girl and just end up alone... sigh
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Dec 21, 2009, 11:51 AM

    I feel as if I am a little too old for finding someone now since pretty much everyone I know is already taken, including all my friends.
    Thanks for the laugh, a 21 year old guy think he is to old. LOL! Made my day. (I am 55 years young just so you know!)
    There were a few times when I thought I have found the right one but turns out they weren't.
    That's pretty normal for 21, as you will kiss many frogs before you find a princess.

    You need a tweak on your attitude dude,

    Talaniman Rule- Date them all, short, fat, skinny , or tall. 18 to 80, blind cripple, or crazy.

    The point is don't look for love, just have fun with as many females as possible.

    Love will find you if your happy, when your ready. Your not ready, because your not happy.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #7

    Dec 21, 2009, 12:22 PM

    I think the problem you have is that every time you meet a new person, you have the expectation that they can potentially become your girlfriend.

    Try this approach: when you meet someone new, get to know them better, enjoy the time you spend together, let things flow naturally and see where that leads.

    If you walk around hoping to find love, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.
    Whereslove's Avatar
    Whereslove Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Dec 22, 2009, 12:32 AM

    Hey thanks for replying guys. The thing is I'm not exactly smooth with women and I don't meet much girls anyway.

    I guess that is part of the problem since I'm not getting out there, I was wondering if you have any suggestions on how to approach this problem?
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Dec 22, 2009, 12:44 AM

    Just be yourself when approaching women. Being confident is one of the most important things when meeting people. It's obvious when people are putting on an act. And no one likes a fake person. Be yourself and be confident in who you are.

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