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    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #21

    Apr 22, 2010, 04:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucky098 View Post
    I think in most cases, yes. But most cases show a lot of problems prior to the break up. Even if they're not plain and day obvious, once you sit down and think about it, the problems pop up.

    I think the way this girl dumped you was very rude. I think it would just open a can of worms that you might not want to open.

    Its really up to you though. Do you feel as if you need to know why she broke up with you? Or do you think you'd do ok not knowing?

    Its all in how you can cope with things. If its going to eat you alive, then try and contact her. But since you've already attempted to twice with no response I think you're just going to waste your time dwelling on the selfish, immature act she did.

    Your choice... Drag this out.. or let it die.

    Don't worry about the reason. You're well rid of her.:)
    jmooney527's Avatar
    jmooney527 Posts: 200, Reputation: 83
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    #22

    Apr 22, 2010, 05:51 AM

    I know you're thinking about closure at this point, but I don't think you can get it from her. So I honestly wouldn't bother. I would focus more on the fact that she completely screwed you over without rhyme or reason, and use that as your fuel to move on. Consider this a done deal and start healing. Why bother trying to get closure from someone who breaks up with you via Facebook? That's even worse than a text message!

    If you want then write her a letter or email and DON'T SEND IT. I don't think anything you can say to her at this point will make her open up and allow you to get the closure you seek.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #23

    Apr 22, 2010, 06:45 AM

    Acceptance is closure, and understanding will come with healing.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #24

    Apr 22, 2010, 11:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Acceptance is closure, and understanding will come with healing.




    It's over... accept it! Move on. Who needs a sneaky, narcissistic , ingrate in their life? You're well rid of this one!
    ispyspeed's Avatar
    ispyspeed Posts: 13, Reputation: 7
    New Member
     
    #25

    Apr 22, 2010, 03:27 PM
    I've gone through every single post you all have posted and I truly appreciate and value your inputs which were very comforting, wise and insightful.

    You see, when I shared my family how my ex removed me, they tell me itís no different from a normal break up, a break up is a break up, 3 days before the finals is no big deal, that I should deal with it like a man and Iím making a big deal out of it. I knew they were trying to be protective with my heart. It really silently pierced my heart and I could no longer talk about my problems to them or anyone.

    That was why sometimes I felt like Iím the crazy one. I couldnít tell what was right or wrong. What was at least, ethical whereby I would be able to judge properly and say, it's all right.

    I guess I'm still in a state of denial, all the advice you've all given me has already been replaying in my head like a broken record. What frustrates me the most is, it doesn't take a genius to figure out how simple and clear one should put this matter to a rest and chuck her out of my thoughts. I consciously know logically, I am lucky to have rid of her but I ultimately hate this emotion I have for this disrespectful, self centered person. It really disgusts me. Sometimes I wish Iím a robot, and block out this thing call emotion, life would have been so much easier. I guess my only challenge now is time = heal.

    I've actually copied the advice you all gave me and put it up on my wall to remind myself everyday that I don't deserve this painful treatment and confusion and all those subtle stealths put downs, criticism, verbal abuse and emotional assault she has inflicted which I only came to realize after the breakup. Am picking up the broken pieces and building up myself esteem once more.

    Got mid terms in a week time, I really can't give up there's too much to do.

    I really thank you all Homegirl 50, Kitkat22, talaniman, Lucky098, amicon, jmooney527 for your support, understanding and encouragement. It meant a lot.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #26

    Apr 22, 2010, 03:29 PM

    We all wish you well!

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