Hello there,

You can call me Kore, I'm at my early 20's and I'm having problems with a break up.

I have been thinking for some time by now, about a month, about my actual relationship which is my first steady one. Well, it's been a while since I'm dating this girl (more than a year) and we had a lot of ups and downs. We had fights, huge ones too and "broke up" three times.

She has a destructive personality (she has bulimia and she's a compulsive eater), she is hot headed, sometimes bipolar and a lot impulsive. She's been quite spoiled in her childhood and she can't get her problems fixed by her own and in fact tries to avoid them as much as she can.

For most of the relationship I was calm, and endured many of her rage attacks, breakdowns, helped her as much as I could with her problems, and I was at her side at every single moment of fear or tension. I had my problems too, I admit sometimes I was some kind of dull, misunderstood her emotions, and didn't express myself and what I was feeling well.

I had a major fault in this relationship when I cheated on her, not sexually. We had a fight then I went to a party, got drunk, and shared kisses with some girls. I told her what I've done and I had suggested breaking up then, but she had forgiven me and told me that we should keep going. And we did, It was all cool for a months.

I'm not very excited anymore with the relationship, we had so much different personalities, ambitions... Despite her problems, she's really is a great girl, and I care for her. But I really can't handle it anymore, and I've decided to break up. I don't want to do it right now as we just started another semester in our university and I really don't know how to approach her... So please, help me!

Sorry for the long post and my bad grammar!

You are sad, you are going to lead some poor girl along, who may have chances at new boys at the start of a semester. I am sorry, once you decide to break up, JUST DO IT> There is no need to explain to her why, don't sit or stand and argue with her about it. This does no good at all. You can call her, write her, even email or text.

THEN< once broke up, stop talking to her completely, no contact, don't answer her phone calls, don't read her text, don't read her emails, nothing.

Agree. It doesn't matter what the issues are, what the issues have been, or what the issues might be. If you don't want to be in the relationship then break it off.

Of course that means no contact, no calls, no visits, and no seeing each other.

I will make it unanimous here, just end it ASAP, and leave her alone so you both can get over it, and move beyond it.